This 18-Year-Old Wants to Trade a Degree for the Chance to Walk the Runway

A mother’s vision for her daughter’s stable future is colliding head-on with her daughter’s glamorous, time-sensitive dream.

The 18-year-old daughter, a math whiz accepted into a prestigious computer science program, has been modeling part-time since she was 15, even walking in New York and Paris. Now, with college looming, she wants to defer admission for a year and move to New York to pursue modeling full-time.

The mother sees this as a reckless waste of time and money, especially since the daughter plans to use her college savings for NYC rent. The father is supportive, but the mother is putting her foot down, fearing for her “naive” daughter’s safety and future.

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The mother is operating from a place of fear and pragmatism. She sees the modeling industry as unstable and dangerous, and college as the only guaranteed path to security. Her daughter, however, sees a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that has a strict expiration date.

The mother’s biggest mistake is viewing the gap year as a “waste of her life.” For a model, 18 is prime time. College will always be there, but the window for high-fashion modeling closes quickly. By trying to control her adult daughter’s choices, the mother is risking a permanent rift.

The daughter’s comment about her parents affording tuition is a cheap shot, but it highlights the financial power dynamic the mother is using to control her.

The mother is right that a computer science degree offers stability, but she is ignoring the fundamental reality of the modeling industry. Modeling is one of the few careers where youth is the primary asset.

According to a 2023 report by Forbes, the average career span for a successful high-fashion model is often less than five years, with the peak years being between 18 and 22.  Deferring college for one year is a small price to pay for the chance to pursue a dream that cannot wait.

Furthermore, the mother’s attempt to control the daughter’s savings is a boundary violation. While the parents saved the money, the daughter earned it through her work. At 18, she has the legal right to use those funds to invest in her career, even if the parents disagree with the investment.

As Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician and author, argues, “The best way to prepare young people for adult life is to allow them to make mistakes and learn from the consequences. Trying to micromanage their dreams, even out of love, breeds resentment and reduces their self-efficacy.” 

Check out how the community responded:

Redditors were unanimous in ruling YTA, arguing that the mother must allow her adult daughter to pursue a time-sensitive dream.

Many comments focused on the importance of letting young adults follow their passions, even if they fail.

Users also pointed out that the mother has no right to control her adult daughter’s money or choices.

The mother needs to step back and trust her daughter. The best compromise is to support the deferral, help her research safe housing in NYC, and establish clear check-in protocols. If the modeling career doesn’t pan out, the computer science degree will still be waiting.

Was the mother’s fear justified, or is she prioritizing control over her daughter’s happiness?