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Sister Offers Abused Friend Pro Bono Legal Service, Top Attorney’s Reaction Surprises Everyone

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A family law attorney’s sister promises their costly services for free to a coworker fleeing abuse, sparking family tension. Reddit’s AITA debates: is the attorney selfish for refusing or justified in setting boundaries?

At a tense family dinner, the attorney learns their free-spirited sister volunteered their legal expertise without asking, leaving a coworker expecting pro bono help. The attorney balks, citing professional limits, while sibling rivalry flares. The saga probes family overreach versus ethical lines, with users divided on whether the attorney’s pushback is fair or cold in this messy mix of duty and drama.

A top attorney refuses sister’s free-lawyer promise to an abused coworker, pushing them to a difficult position.

Sister Offers Abused Friend Pro Bono Legal Service, Top Attorney's Reaction Surprises Everyone
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for not providing free legal services to abused women?'

I am a family law and divorce attorney. I live in a medium sized military town and I have been doing this for over 15 years.

I am regarded as one of the best attorneys in the region, and I take pride in my work.

My services are not cheap, in fact, I probably charge one of the highest, if not the highest, rates.

My sister is a bit of a hippie, and she never really did anything productive with her life. Which is fine, we have different priorities.

She works as a cashier at an astrology/hippie store. They sell rocks and t shirts with moon phases on them, and bongs. That sort of stuff.

She has this coworker who is supposedly being abused by her husband. They have a few kids together as well.

My sister offered to this woman, without even asking me, that I would represent her for free.

The woman has since told her husband that she’s leaving him, and she has a good lawyer who’s going to help her take the kids for free.

She’s staying with her kids in a hotel until I help her figure something out, supposedly.

When my sister mentioned it to me and I told her no, she lost her s__t.

She freaked out, and essentially said “I already promised her you would, don’t make me go back on a promise”.

My sister also went on a rant about how I should be using my job to help people, and not just for money.

I suggested she go to law school so she can help all the people she wants.

All of this occurred at our parents house, where we were having a family dinner. Our parents are divided, as they always have been about us.

AITAH? I get that it makes my sister look bad and will probably damage her friendship, but I honestly don’t really care.

Edit: a lot of you seem to think I know a bunch of lawyers that are just twiddling their thumbs waiting to take on cases like these.

Every decent lawyer I know has a full case load, and dozens of people already asking them for pro bono work.

And local legal aid options all have over a year backlog. Sob stories are a dime a dozen.

Everyone who needs a lawyer would love to have one for free. There’s no one for me to refer her to.

This Redditor, a seasoned family law attorney, charges top dollar for their expertise, and for good reason. 15 years of grinding through messy divorces isn’t a walk in the park.

Their sister, a cashier at a quirky astrology shop, made a bold move by promising free legal help to a coworker fleeing an abusive husband with kids in tow.

The coworker, acting on this promise, upended her life, only to learn the attorney wasn’t on board. Ouch. That’s a plot twist nobody signed up for.

The sister’s heart might’ve been in the right place, but her promise was like handing out someone else’s concert tickets.

The attorney’s frustration is palpable. They’re not a charity, and their practice has bills to pay. Yet, the coworker’s now in a precarious spot, having confronted her husband based on a false lifeline.

Family dynamics here are trickier than a custody battle. The sister’s push for “using your job to help people” ignores the reality of a packed caseload and a year-long backlog at local legal aid, as the Redditor noted. It’s not like they can snap their fingers and summon a pro bono fairy.

This saga taps into a broader issue: the pressure on professionals to offer free services, especially in high-stakes fields like law. According to a 2023 American Bar Association report, 86% of low-income Americans can’t access legal aid due to overwhelmed systems. The Redditor’s edit highlights this: no local lawyers are twiddling their thumbs, and sob stories are plentiful.

Dr. Ilene Strauss Cohen, a family therapist and author specializing in emotional healing, has stated, “Setting boundaries isn’t just about protecting ourselves; it’s about fostering healthier relationships”.

This wisdom underscores the dual role of boundaries as both shields and builders in the intricate web of family ties, where unchecked actions, such as a sister’s impulsive promise, can ripple into unintended harm.

In the Redditor’s scenario, the attorney’s professional line was erased, turning a potential act of support into a source of stress and misplaced expectations. Cohen’s insight highlights how true relational health blooms when we safeguard our limits, allowing space for genuine empathy without the erosion of self-respect or autonomy.

This viewpoint dovetails seamlessly with the attorney’s challenge, where familial goodwill collides with the demands of a high-stakes career. By reinforcing boundaries, professionals like this Redditor not only preserve their capacity to serve clients effectively but also encourage loved ones to pause and consider the full weight of their interventions.

The sister’s rant about “helping people” overlooks the attorney’s right to choose their pro bono cases. A neutral move might be a one-time consultation to guide the coworker toward affordable options, without committing to a full case. It’s a way to thread the needle, mitigating the sister’s mess while keeping boundaries intact.

It’s a compassionate recalibration: boundaries don’t sever bonds but refine them, transforming potential conflicts into opportunities for accountability and deeper understanding in family dynamics.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Some affirm OP’s right to refuse free legal services volunteered by their sister.

BlueGreen_1956 − NTA Your sister sounds as entitled as s__t.

Advice: Tell your sister that you consulted the stars, and you cannot help her coworker for free

because your moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter has aligned with Mars.

Chance-Owl-6461 − NTA. Your sister had no right to volunteer your professional services without your consent,

especially when it involves significant time and effort. It's your career, and you have every right to decide when and how to offer free services.

Suggesting that she go to law school was a bit harsh, but understandable given the pressure she put on you.

Your work and boundaries should be respected.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If she's really that poor, there are legal services out there that represent people just like her.

Refer the friend to Legal Aid. You are not a public interest lawyer.

Others highlight the danger caused by the sister’s false promise to a vulnerable woman.

MyChoiceNotYours − Your sister might just well have put this woman's life in danger along with her children.

She lied to a vulnerable woman. That woman now has nothing and no help. What a freaking cruel thing to do.

Sure you have no obligation to help that woman and her kids. Maybe what you could do is see if anyone else can help her.

Running from domestic violence is a hard and scary thing to do.

Your sister should be made to help that woman since she lied and caused that woman to make a dangerous decision.

ComradeTortoise − So, NTA, your sister should not be offering your services (And ultimately those of your employees) for free without consulting you.

You have bills to pay, and empathy doesn't change that. That said, your idiot sister did not just put you in an awkward position.

She put her friend in an incredibly dangerous position. The most dangerous time with an abusive spouse is when you leave,

and she made the decision to take that risk on the basis of faulty information...

Some suggest offering limited help, like a consultation or referral, to mitigate harm.

TangledUpPuppeteer − I work in family law. You are absolutely right in not doing this because your sister signed you up for it.

Neither of them has any idea how much work it actually is... That said, you don’t have to let your stupid sister get in the way of this woman getting...

You do not have to offer services to her for free (absolutely not), however, you know the assistance options in your area.

Suggest the woman call the county bar association where you live and maybe take the consultation at the discounted price for her

where you can quote her what you are actually charging...

recyclopath_ − NTA but throw the woman your sister screwed over a bone.

Do some kind of free 30 minute consultation and offer her resources for what to do next and an idea of what to expect from it all.

Unfortunately you cannot offer your full services for free but you can help her get her feet under her since your sister pulled the rug out on her...

perpetuallyxhausted − NTA because if you give in now then your sister will pull this with everyone she meets who needs a lawyer.

You could meet with the woman and discuss if she's able to set up a payment plan or something for your services

or point her in the direction of/get her in touch with a lawyer who would be willing to do it pro bono or within her budget...

Melodic_Policy765 − Your sister could pay for your services to assist her friend.

If she did that, I might give her a discount and caution her never to do this again.

This Redditor’s caught in a family fiasco where good intentions crashed into professional reality.

Their sister’s promise put a vulnerable woman at risk, but the attorney’s no villain for guarding their livelihood. It’s a messy situation. Do you think the Redditor’s stance is fair, or should they toss the coworker a legal lifeline?

How would you handle a sibling volunteering your skills? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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