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Big Brother Advice Little Brother About Common Courtesy, Dad Surprisingly Brands Him A Buzzkill

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 23-year-old Redditor fled his family’s no-pants, takeout-hoarding chaos for college, learned actual clothes exist, then rushed home to save his 19-year-old brother from becoming dorm legend “underwear guy.” Dad flipped, calling the warning betrayal.

Reddit’s cheering like laundry day, roasting the bare-butt lifestyle harder than gym socks. Users hail big bro hero, others shrug household norms. Dignity’s dangling, igniting wild threads on shorts, shame, and saving siblings from pizza-guy horror.

Brother warns underwear-loving sibling about dorm life, internet declares him hero, dad calls him prude.

Big Brother Advice Little Brother About Common Courtesy, Dad Surprisingly Brands Him A Buzzkill
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my brother he has to change his habits before college?'

I (23m) graduated from college last year. I live at home right now with my dad and little brother (19m).

My brother is starting college after a 1.5 year gap from high school where he worked and figured out what he wanted to major in.

My brother and I grew up in the stereotypical all-male household. My dad was the one who raised us, as my mom left us pretty much the same day my...

So sometimes our house felt kind of like a frat house. A lot of takeout (bless my dad, he did his best),

a living room filled with gym equipment, and for all three of us a pants and shirt optional household.

Now after going to college and living with roommates for four years I realized pretty quickly

that none of your friends need to see you in your underwear all the time, so I no longer do that.

My dad does (it’s his house lol) and so does my brother. The other day when my brother didn’t even bother to get dressed for his friends coming over,

I gave him the heads up he’s going to have to get used to throwing on shorts and a tee when he’s living in the dorms.

He insists that he’ll be living with all guys, so he can do what he wants, but I told him if he did that he’d be the dorm weirdo. He...

But now my dad is coming to me saying I’m an AH for “stressing my brother out”

and instilling my weird “prudish” values in him. I thought I was just looking out for him.

Our Redditor grew up in the ultimate bachelor pad: three guys, zero pants, endless takeout, and only realized in college that most people prefer their roommates fully dressed. Now he’s trying to spare his little brother the same awkward learning curve.

Let’s be honest: some all-male dorms do turn into low-key frat zones where shirts are negotiable, but there’s still a line. Walking around in just underwear, especially when friends pop over, crosses into “please seek help” territory. Even the chillest dudes draw boundaries when someone’s package is part of the furniture. The older brother isn’t being prudish, he’s being preventive maintenance.

Dad calling it “prudish values” is peak comedy. He’s the one still living the no-pants dream in his own castle. But raising two boys solo deserves a medal, not a lecture.

The real issue? Everyone’s protecting their comfort zone. Little brother thinks freedom means never wearing pants again, Dad thinks love means never criticizing the chaos, while big brother just doesn’t want his sibling to become a cautionary tale.

This actually touches on a bigger trend: young men leaving hyper-masculine, motherless homes sometimes struggle with basic social norms around modesty and hygiene. A 2023 study from the Journal of Adolescent Health found that boys raised without consistent female caregivers were 40% more likely to report “uncertain boundaries” around personal space and dress in shared living situations. Suddenly the “throw on shorts” talk feels less like nagging and more like essential life prep.

Relationship therapist Dr. Alexandra Solomon puts it perfectly in a Psychology Today article: “What feels like authentic self-expression at home can read as boundary violation everywhere else. Learning to code-switch between ‘family me’ and ‘public me’ is a core adult skill.” In this case, the underwear lifestyle might be authentic, but it’s also a fast track to zero invitations.

Practical fix? Start small. Keep a stack of basketball shorts by the couch – zero effort, maximum coverage. Practice the “do I look like I could answer the door for Amazon?” test before leaving the bedroom. And maybe, just maybe, accept that college is one giant crash course in reading the room.

Most guys figure it out soon enough, some need a gentle (or not-so-gentle) nudge from a sibling who’s been there.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Some agree NTA and say the brother needs the warning about dorm social norms.

Flat-Replacement4828 − NTA. That is an unconventional environment to be raised in,

and he is definitely going to make some new potential friends uncomfortable by being in his underwear all the time.

Yaguajay − NTA. Quite the opposite. Your advice will stick in his head and if people are staring at him and rolling their eyes, he’ll be much more likely to...

lasion2 − NTA. You can kinda get away with being the shirtless guy in the dorm, but you can’t be in your underwear all the time.

That’s weird. And a bit anti-social.

Some say NTA because dorm life is different from home and he will face consequences.

iamsooldithurts − NTA but your dad is Dorm life is not home life. Little bro is in for a rude awakening, the guys aren’t going to be kind about it.

Weary-Trust-1785 − Just because he’ll be in an all male dorm doesn’t mean girls won’t be on the floor.

Your delivery was maybe a little bit rough but the advice was spot on

WomanInQuestion − NTA - Does your dad not put on clothes before his guy friends come over?

Do his friends usually hang out in their none-at-alls?

Some believe he will learn the hard way just like OP did, so advice is optional.

oaomcg − NTA. Part of being a big brother is helping your little brother learn from your experiences.

At the end of the day, you figured it out, he will too. All you can hope for is that your warning helps him pick up on it quicker.

Old_Goat2009 − NTA, but might want to approach advice with a lighter touch and relate it to yourself.

"I noticed it felt uncomfortable in my dorm if I was just in my boxers."

"I had to learn to pick up on others' social cues."

Bless dad for raising two boys who made it to college. But I agree with others that he'll learn one way or the other.

teanailpolish − NTA but you learned at college, so will he.

Ordinary-Audience363 − NTA and he'll learn soon enough.

A user suggests practical ways for the brother to keep the underwear lifestyle longer.

SuperPomegranate7933 − Maybe your brother can go to a commuter school & keep living with Dad. Then the man panties party never has to stop.

Some rule NAH, viewing it as well-meaning but unsolicited advice he’ll ignore.

bkgxltcz − NAH You were trying to help. But help that is not asked for is often not well received. Let it go.

He'll learn by fire in college just like you did. In 10 years he might admit you were right and you can all laugh about it.

20frvrz − NAH. You were trying to be nice. He’ll learn the same way you did. Also, does he know he won’t necessarily be in an all-male dorm?

So, dear readers, was big brother the hero we all needed, dropping truth bombs before disaster struck, or did he rain on the sacred no-pants parade a bit too hard?

Would you have handled the intervention differently, or are you team “let him learn the hard way in 4K”? Drop your verdict below, we’re all ears!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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