Entitled Coworker Demands Sibling Adoption To Avoid Adulting Forever Until Colleague Tries To ‘Fix’ And Faces HR Backlash

Morning coffee turns nuclear when 26-year-old “Pam” announces Mom’s moving overseas and she wants a sibling to legally adopt her, just so someone still makes her lunch and chauffeurs her on rainy days. No disability, just weaponized helplessness.

One coworker snapped, “Maybe act your age and live alone like every other adult?” Pam burst into tears, ran to HR, and now the truth-teller’s stuck writing a groveling apology while the office debates who’s truly unhinged.

Coworker told 26-year-old colleague she doesn’t need sibling adoption, leading to HR request.

Being in the real world after two-and-a-half decades of bubble wrap can feel like culture shock with extra steps. What we’re watching here isn’t just funny, it’s a textbook case of “failure to launch” on steroids.

At its core, the coworker isn’t asking for a new roommate. She’s asking for a new legal guardian because independence feels “too hard.”

Psychologists call this learned helplessness on a loop. When every need has been anticipated since childhood, the brain literally rewires to believe it can’t cope alone.

A 2023 study in the Journal of Adult Development found that overprotective parenting strongly predicts lower self-efficacy in emerging adults, even into their late 20s. In plain English: the more Mom does, the less the kid believes they can.

Relationship therapist Esther Perel once said in an interview with The Atlantic: “Today we have adults who are biologically mature but emotionally still waiting for permission to cross the street alone.”

That quote hits different when someone is ready to sign over their legal rights because cooking feels scary.

There’s also the financial angle. Spending an entire paycheck on designer bags and $7 lattes while claiming poverty of life skills is peak cognitive dissonance.

Behavioral economist Dan Ariely points out in The Wall Street Journal that people often protect their self-image by creating two mental accounts: “fun money” and “someone else will handle the boring stuff money.” Pam basically has a black-belt in that separation.

The neutral take? No one is obligated to rescue a perfectly capable adult from the consequences of never learning basic life skills. But confronting her at work wasn’t going to spark a magical epiphany either.

Sometimes the kindest thing colleagues can do is smile, nod, and let natural consequences do the teaching.

See what others had to share with OP:

Some say OP is YTA because it was none of their business to comment on a coworker’s life.

Some believe ESH or soft YTA because the coworker is dysfunctional but OP still overstepped boundaries.

Some insist OP is NTA and simply gave honest advice when the coworker complained.

Some advise writing the apology exactly as HR wants while refusing future personal conversations.

One coworker tried to hand out a reality check like it was free samples at Costco and got slapped with HR paperwork instead. Was the truth bomb necessary, or did well-meaning bluntness cross the line into cruelty?

Would you have kept quiet while someone planned to surrender their legal rights over microwave meals? Drop your verdict below, because this one isn’t settling down anytime soon.