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Woman Left Her Son With His Dad And Disappeared For A Week, Now Everyone Is Calling Her A Monster

by Annie Nguyen
November 23, 2025
in Social Issues

Some divorces don’t just end a marriage; they slowly crush the person fighting to keep their child safe. When legal bills pile up, savings disappear, and the only future left is a dangerous neighborhood, even the strongest parent can reach a point where holding on feels impossible.

That breaking point came for this mom after three exhausting years battling a wealthy ex who kept dragging out the divorce. One ordinary afternoon she dropped their four-year-old son at his dad’s house like always, then vanished. No replies, no pickup, no explanation for over a week.

When they finally spoke, her words left him speechless. Keep scrolling to see exactly what she said and how everything exploded after that.

A mom, pushed to her breaking point in a prolonged divorce, left her young son with his father

Woman Left Her Son With His Dad And Disappeared For A Week, Now Everyone Is Calling Her A Monster
Not the actual photo

AITA for abandoning my son and refusing to collect him after my ex told me to?

I have a 4-year-old son with my ex-husband.

We’ve been in the middle of divorce since our son was 1.

My ex has made settling the divorce and deciding custody of our son hell for me,

both financially and emotionally.

I finally reached my boiling point two months ago

when I realised just how bad my finances are at the moment

and the fact that I would need to stop the divorce

and move to an even cheaper but dangerous area to just survive at this point.

I don’t want my son to have to live there too.

So, I decided that the next time my ex was in the country,

I would take my son and leave him with his dad since he wants custody so badly.

My ex assumed it was just for the day but when I didn’t come to pick him up in the evening

and I wasn’t home when he tried to drop him off, he started texting

and calling me non-stop telling me I needed to come collect our son

since he didn’t have his nanny there and he was very busy.

I ignored him for over a week, until he started threatening to have someone come and find me.

We had a conversation where my ex was asking me

what type of mother just ups and abandons her child like I had done.

He wanted to know where I was and wanted to know when I was going to come back.

When I told him I wasn’t, he told me he had learnt his lesson

and I needed to stop punishing our son to make a point.

I told him I wouldn’t come back, because my ex was right,

he had the money to give our son a better life so he had won.

He asked me what he was supposed to tell our son

and I told him he should tell him the truth,

that his dad liked to bully people with his money and it made me have to go away.

He got really angry and told me not to play games

and that we would go back to our old financial agreement

that we had before I filed for divorce if I would just come back.. AITA?

When a divorce drags on for years and money becomes a weapon, even the most devoted parent can reach a breaking point where keeping the child safe feels impossible without letting go, a grief few ever admit out loud.

At its heart, this story is less about “abandonment” and more about a mother drowning in financial abuse.

After three years of legal warfare, depleted savings, and the prospect of moving her son into a dangerous neighborhood, she chose the only leverage she had left: handing full-time care to the father who claimed he wanted custody while making it financially impossible for her to survive.

Her week of silence was not cold indifference but a raw, desperate attempt to force a resolution. The father’s panic when the nanny wasn’t there exposed what many suspected: his fight was about control, not daily parenting. Meanwhile, the 4-year-old’s confusion became the silent casualty.

Additionally, women facing prolonged financial coercion sometimes resort to what psychologists call “strategic withdrawal”, a gender-linked response rarely discussed.

Where men might double down through courts and money, women stripped of resources may temporarily detach to protect both themselves and their children from deeper harm, even when it looks like abandonment from the outside.

According to Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D., when one parent uses access to the child as punishment or leverage, this can create ‘loyalty binds’ that leave children carrying lasting wounds of guilt, shame, and insecure attachment.

In this case, both parents contributed: the father through years of economic strangulation, the mother through the sudden ghosting that risked making her son feel unlovable.

Baker’s work reminds us that the child’s sense of security collapses long before anyone walks out the door. The healthiest step now isn’t more blame, but immediate third-party intervention, court-ordered mediation, or a guardian ad litem, to settle custody and support without further games.

Children heal fastest when adults stop the war, not when one side “wins.” What could real protection have looked like earlier in this nightmare?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users who criticize OP for abandoning her child and urge responsibility

[Reddit User] − YTA you have a kid, you cannot do this childish crap anymore. Grow up.

I get that you are upset at your ex and that the divorce process is hard.

BUT YOU HAVE A DAMN KID. Stop playing the victim and act like everything is you ex's fault.

that his dad liked to bully people with his money

and it made me have to go away YOU CHOSE TO GO AWAY.

You chose to abandon your kid. At least, own up to your actions.

Maybe it's for the best. Using your child as a pawn is the worst thing you can do to you child.

Maybe it's a good this you are abandoning him.

[Reddit User] − Lots of single mom rage bait happening in the past day or so around here.

If this is true, of course, ESH.

He's clearly an a__hole, but you abandoned your child, regardless of the circumstances.

If you think he should have custody, go to the court and say so.

If you think your ex is bluffing and trying to punish you financially, you still need to involve the court.

Walking away like this could permanently damage your relationship with your child,

which is a heck of a lot more long-term than your current financial struggles.

Do the courts always get it right? Hell no.

But what you're doing now ain't it, either.

dfwnighthawk − In Another episode of “I want to teach an adult a lesson

but the only one hurt is the only innocent party.” Both are AH

Reddit users who empathize with OP and blame the ex for abuse and manipulation

[Reddit User] − NTA I’m filling for divorce from a physically,

psychologically, and financially abusive man.

He has beaten twice, once so badly I had to go to the hospital.

He has gaslit me for years, eroded my self esteem, degraded my mental health,

and caused me to develop PTSD.

I am very slowly regaining my mental health and applying for jobs.

I haven’t been able to apply for jobs because my mental health was so poor all

I could do was focus on surviving each day.

Since I didn’t have a job he became more and more restrictive about my access to money.

He canceled our joint bank account and then canceled my credit card

so I had no access to money; when I was responsible for grocery shopping

and buying cat food and litter for our 4 cats.

I am still dependent on him sending me money to put gas in my car.

It’s degrading and dehumanizing. Using money as a weapon is abuse.

I’m lucky to find a lawyer who isn’t asking to be paid up front and is willing to take my case.

I am fortunate that we don’t have children,

I can’t imagine going through what OP is going through with a child.

More power to OP for going through all this and not giving up.

You have my upmost respect OP.

OP isn’t weaponizing her child, her ex is.

He is the one dragging out the divorce for 3 years draining OP’s finances (knowingly)

and forcing her to move to a less safe area.

He knows what he’s doing.

He is purposely putting his child in danger because of his desire to hurt OP.

By draining OP’s finances and forcing her to move to a less safe area he can prove

to the courts he is the “more fit” parent. OP called his bluff.

He has the money and since he’s been the one dragging out the divorce over custody OP basically told him

to put his money where his mouth is.

For 3 years he claimed he wanted custody so she let him know what that would entail.

OP didn’t leave her child with a stranger or “abandon” her child with a relative,

she left her child with the child’s father, the father

who had spent 3 years dragging her through court because he wanted custody of this child.

He couldn’t do it on his own for a week.

OP isn’t using her child, her ex is.

He’s using his own child as a means of abusing OP,

it’s not because he actually wants custody, he wants to hurt OP

and if his own child suffers as a result, oh well.

Swingehaway − NTA. You gave your child to his father. His FATHER.

A man who should have been doing more for your child from the get-go.

Now it’s his turn. Too many men are okay being weekend dads but crumble

when they have to do it on their own like so many single mothers.

He’ll find a way just like you did.

Independent-Self-854 − Everyone saying she abandoned her child,

he was with his FATHER! His father who had been financially abusing his mother for years.

She made a brilliant power play as a last ditch effort before really having

to leave her son with him forever. OP is NTA.

Reddit users who say both parents are at fault and focus on the child’s suffering

[Reddit User] − ESH. (Except your son.) You might have some defenders here who support your actions,

but I'm concerned about the message you sent your son when you were not there

to collect him when your ex attempted to drop him off.

Moreover, you refused to respond to your ex's text messages for an entire week.

Did it never occur to you that your son might think you were in some horrible accident

or that he (correctly) deduced that you abandoned him?

There are ways to communicate that you've decided to surrender custody,

and you failed to avail yourself of them.

And you placed your 4-year-old son in the crossfire.

Your ex may have decided to tell your son the truth: that his mother is willing

to place him in emotional turmoil, sick with worry, unnecessarily, to make a point.

You ought to be ashamed! And the reasons your ex sucks should be obvious.

IsThatMarcy − NTA And to be honest I'm shocked at the number of YTA

and ESH judgements you're getting.

What I'm reading from this is your husband who has way more money

than you has been prolonging the divorce for YEARS.

And now its to the point where you have to move to an area,

where your son would also have to live that ISN'T SAFE.

Because dad is being a bullying jerk

and forcing you do deplete your money on legal fees.

You didn't abandon your son with a stranger

or leave him at a bus stop to wander the alleys in the dark.

You left him with his PARENT. The same parent who has fought you for custody

so you gave him exactly what he wanted. Good.

It's a f__king resolution. You get him to sign off on the agreement you want

and only then do you go get your son.

People are saying you used your son as a pawn.

Your son was always going to be affected by this regardless.

He would have had to move to a shittier neighborhood

and watched his mom's mental health deteriorate.

I hope it all works out for you.

Senior-Term-635 − Holy s__t your situation sounds dire.

I'm assuming your ex was refusing support even though

he had the financial means to provide for your child.

Because a nanny for 1 kid is $$$, the fact that your ex would rather his son live in poverty

when not with him makes him the AH.

Even so you went to very drastic means to make your point.

You likely hurt your kid, which could have backfired and permanently separated you two.

Whether or not you were comfortable with that risk,

and it seems you had been pushed to that point, your son was very likely NOT ok.

He most likely cried and asked for you. I get it. I truly do.

Your options were very limited and your ex was fighting for custody so much

that your options of remaining married

to your (sounds abusive) ex, or give up your child.

The problem with your logic is that your ex will eventually take it out on your son.

Ultimately you're an AH here too. ESH

Party_Teacher6901 − I'm not giving judgment. I just feel so sorry

for this little boy who's being used as a pawn.

NeroFellOffTheBuffet − I see an awful lot of “quit using your child as a pawn” comments.

The father has been doing it for 3 years, and after 3 years,

OP is at a breaking point & fighting fire with fire.

Y’all a bunch of damned hypocrites as far as I can see.

Don’t think OP handled it the best, but sometimes the high road isn’t effective. NTA.

Snowpeaks14 − How many of those making a blanket statements of YTA

have had first hand experience in this type of situation?

A lot of women end up in poverty because of actions such as OP’s ex.

These situations are often very muddy.

Made worse when the agreement was that the mother would be a stay at home mom,

often giving up her career.

And we all know how the job market treats women,

especially when there is a gap in employment.

Think how you would handle it if you are at your wits end?

pedestrianstripes − INFO Your husband has been an absolute a__hole during this divorce.

He dragged this out until he mentally broke you.

You know as soon as you gather your child, he'll start his delay tactics up again.

You are caught between a rock and a hard place.

Now that your husband is caring for your son without a nanny,

do you think you can finally get your husband to settle the divorce?

SuLiaodai − INFO: AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED? Where is your son? What's the situation now?

At the end you say he asked you to come back,

but from the beginning of the post it sounds like the divorce is still in process.

This Reddit saga peels back the layers of a divorce gone nuclear, where one parent’s breaking point led to a bold, if controversial, stand against alleged financial bullying. It’s a stark reminder that kids shouldn’t bear the brunt of adult grudges, yet here, a four-year-old ended up in the emotional crosshairs.

Do you think the mom’s ghosting tactic was a justified power play, or did it cross into harmful territory? Would you fight fire with fire in a similar spot, or push for court intervention instead? Spill your thoughts below, let’s unpack this drama!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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