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Wife Doesn’t Believe Husband Is Really Pooping The Bathroom, So He Makes Sure She Knows Exactly What’s Happening

by Annie Nguyen
November 22, 2025
in Social Issues

There are certain things that can cause tension in a relationship, like the age-old issue of bathroom time. For one couple, a disagreement arose when the husband’s long bathroom breaks raised suspicion from his wife.

She thought he was wasting time on his phone, but he was just doing what he needed to do. So, to clear his name and make his point, he decided to make sure his wife knew exactly what was going on in there. How did he do it? Let’s just say he didn’t hold back.

A man gets frustrated with his wife questioning his bathroom time and decides to prove it

Wife Doesn’t Believe Husband Is Really Pooping The Bathroom, So He Makes Sure She Knows Exactly What’s Happening
not the actual photo

'Wife thinks I’m taking longer than I need in the bathroom, so I make sure she knows it’s legit?'

My wife and I bought our first house shortly after our wedding. Everything went smoothly and we enjoyed our time as newlyweds.

Of course as the honeymoon phase began to fade some minor issues started to emerge.

For her the first one was the typical guy-on-the-toilet problem.

So, sometimes I spend quite a bit of time on the toilet. It’s all legit though, I’m not just scrolling on my phone.

I mean, I also do that but I’m also doing what I’m supposed to be doing as well.

Anyways my wife started to pick up on how long I was spending in the bathroom and commenting on it.

This was exacerbated with some unlucky incidences of her asking when I was coming out just as I was standing up and about to flush the toilet

(so it seemed like I was just standing there until she said something and flushing to fake like I just finished).

For context, I eat a lot. I usually eat about 3000 calories a day, give or take a few hundred,

and I’m a thin frame guy; 160 lbs (72kg) give or take and about 6’5.

Back then I was still getting used to the bowel movements associated with eating that much

and they tended to come at random times in varying amounts.

My wife though, didn’t believe me. Her diet was much less structured than mine

and she had no notion of what was going on in that room for so long.

This culminated in a few arguments with her accusing me of wasting time in the bathroom on my phone

and myself insisting that I was indeed pooping. They were mostly joke arguments

but I really wasn’t wasting time and was actually a little offended that she wouldn’t believe me.

So I decided I would get a little revenge and clear my name in the process.

So the next time I was in the bathroom and my wife was in earshot, I began loudly announcing the following at the appropriate intervals:

“POOP IS CURRENTLY EXITING MY BUTTHOLE” shortly followed by “POOP HAS FINISHED EXITING MY BUTTHOLE”

I would do this 2 or 3 times for however long I was in the bathroom

during which I would be met with laughter or groaning from the other room

depending on how many times I had made my announcement that session.

After a few days of this she would get grossed out and say “Ok Ok I get it” and I would stop.

Since then I have developed a much more predictable poop schedule,

but I no longer get questioned as to my goings-on in the bathroom behind closed doors.

A common issue in relationships is mismatched expectations and the frustration that arises when one partner feels misunderstood. The tension between OP and his wife is rooted in expectation violations when someone’s behavior doesn’t align with what their partner anticipates; it can lead to misunderstandings and, in this case, some playful (but telling) revenge.

Research shows that when partners behave in ways their significant other doesn’t expect, it can cause discomfort and even dissatisfaction in the relationship.

Here, OP’s longer bathroom breaks, which were entirely legitimate based on his eating habits, didn’t match his wife’s idea of what a normal amount of time should look like. For her, it seemed excessive and suspicious, leading to the conflict.

The frustration on both sides comes from their different frames of reference. OP thought his bathroom time was perfectly normal for his body’s needs, while his wife, not knowing the full context, began to assume he was just wasting time.

This type of miscommunication happens a lot in relationships when one partner assumes the other “should know” their needs without saying anything. (researchgate.net) In this case, OP’s wife didn’t understand why he needed so much time, and OP didn’t realize how his behavior was being interpreted.

So, when OP started loudly announcing his bodily functions in the bathroom, it wasn’t just an act of “revenge” or humor, it was his way of clearing the air and proving his point.

By making his private process public, he removed any ambiguity about what was happening, and it allowed his wife to see the situation in a new light. While it grossed her out, her eventual concession (“Okay, okay, I get it”) signaled that the issue was finally acknowledged, even if in a less-than-dignified way.

The lesson here is that relationships thrive on clear communication and understanding each other’s realities. When one partner feels their expectations are violated, even unintentionally, it creates emotional tension. It’s not just about the bathroom time, it’s about making sure both partners feel heard and understood, even in the smaller moments.

It’s easy for something simple like bathroom habits to turn into an argument, but with a bit of empathy and understanding, these small issues can be resolved.

Ultimately, OP and his wife can use this situation to better align their expectations, and perhaps find a more loving way to communicate their needs without resorting to bathroom proclamations.

Check out how the community responded:

This group expressed frustration and humor over extended bathroom time, often linking it to dietary or lifestyle habits

Thelgow − I used to live with my inlaws and they accused me of using all the toilet paper since I was always in there.

We move out, wife is buying loads of tp, and oddly it just keeps stacking up, faster than we are using it.

Long story short, brother in laws friend was stealing toilet paper and they just assumed it was me going buck wild.

madeitmyself7 − My ex husband would be in the bathroom for a literal hour, there is absolutely no way it takes that long.

kcf2816 − My partner takes 20-30mins in the bathroom at least 2-3 times a day.

We joke about it, but I still don't understand what is actually going on in there for all that time.

I think he needs to adjust his diet (because he also has lots of smelly farts all over the house) but he insists it's just his process.

I can't help but be a bit grossed out, especially when I'm the one who cleans the toilets.

If it takes some time for the body to get to the actual poop expulsion part, then why not wait and go to the bathroom when you're actually ready.

PansyAttack − You should eat more soluble fiber because sitting on the can for more than 2 minutes to s__t is a problem.

So yes every man I’ve ever known doesn’t care well enough for himself to have proper shits.

Eventually this caused issues down there for my hubs and now he makes sure to eat enough fiber and shits like a dream. Good luck?

These commenters joked about the universal nature of bathroom breaks

UncomfortableBike975 − Ironically, 75% of the readers of this post were on the toilet.

Wilsonian81 − Wait, how long are we talking here? Just because you are 'using' that time

doesn't mean there couldn't be some underlying dietary/bowel issues happening.

These users shared a more private perspective, suggesting that bathroom habits might be better left unexamined

WestFizz − There are so many things strangers on the internet do not need to know.

Beret_of_Poodle − I understand that in this case there are reasons,

but I think your wife may have jumped straight to annoyance/resentment

because it is very much a thing of men taking forever on the toilet.

Men with whom I have lived --even if they take in the normal amount of calories -- somehow still seem to take an hour to poop.

I absolutely do not believe that in most cases it is anything but taking the p__s. There is no way men as a gender all poop at a glacial pace

Both offered dietary suggestions, with a nod to plant-based eating for quicker bathroom visits and humor about reading material in the bathroom

MateoScolas − Yeesh, so many people need to eat more vegetables! A plant-based diet means swift #2 sessions. Always.

badnewsforchicory − My partner just said he likes to read articles on the loo. I call them a sharticle

These commenters highlighted the challenges of sharing a bathroom with someone who takes extended bathroom breaks

plantsb4putas − It really sucks when theres only one bathroom in the house and your partner needs 45 minutes to produce a turd.

Sucks even more when your partner has an aversion to the exhaust fan.

Add a little more suck when they spray "hawaiian delight" air freshner over the shitsmell and now the bathroom smells like piña colonada.

utkalum − You could just leave the bathroom door open, she could see and smell what is going on.

If you don’t have kids or roommates and feel comfortable doing so.

What do you think? Was the husband’s response too much, or was it the perfect way to handle the situation? Have you ever had a funny disagreement with your partner over something trivial? Share your thoughts below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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