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Wife Lets Husband Pay for “Chef Meals,” But She’s the One Cooking Them

by Charles Butler
December 4, 2025
in Social Issues

A birthday surprise gone wrong is one thing, but a dinner table deception hits differently.

This story comes from a Redditor who reached a breaking point after years of being told her cooking was “disgusting,” “worthless,” and inferior to her sister’s. Her husband praised everyone else’s meals except hers, even in front of family.

So when he finally demanded they pay her sister, a professional chef, $750 a week to make their dinners, she stopped trying to explain herself and instead got creative.

She took the money. She cooked the meals. She labeled them as her sister’s work. And suddenly, he adored the food he’d spent years ridiculing.

The house smelled amazing, he said. Dinner was the highlight of his day. He felt cared for, nourished, understood. Too bad the “chef” was standing in their kitchen the whole time.

Now the wife wonders if her secret makes her the villain… or if this was the only way left to reclaim her dignity.

Now, read the full story:

Wife Lets Husband Pay for “Chef Meals,” But She’s the One Cooking Them
Not the actual photo

"AITAH for lying to my husband that my sister is cooking the food he pays 750 dollars/week for when it is me who cooks?"

Sorry I had to rewrite because I did the math and the conversion is to 750 dollars and not 600 dollars

So my sister is a personal chef for some upper middle class families, mostly lawyers and doctors who work 24/7 but still want home cooked healthy meals.

My husband always complained about my disgusting food and he called me worthless in the kitchen. Every time we are invited to m6 sister’s or mum’s he would bite my...

I know for a fact that I am as good if not better because I was taught from the same chef, mum, who’s a literal genius.

I had it up to here and said FINE we can pay my sister for dinners so for a year now he’s been paying me 750 to pay my sister.

When he comes home he starts raving about how the whole apartment smells amazing from the delivered food and that only now he looked forward to coming home for dinner.

The thing is it smells amazing yes but it is because the food is made in MY kitchen, by ME. The only thing that has changed is that I put...

He is happy, I am richer and my sister finds the whole thing amusing. Everyone wins!. She offered me to work for her too

There’s something heartbreaking underneath the humor of this story. Before the twist, you can feel how much OP absorbed over the years, from being criticized at family dinners to getting labeled “worthless” in her own home. Sometimes people dismiss culinary criticism as harmless, but food is emotional, cultural, intimate, and relational. Being mocked for it hits deeper.

Her workaround feels like a survival instinct. Instead of fighting with someone who refused to see her, she changed the frame entirely. Suddenly her husband praised her food without realizing it. The affection he withheld for years poured out, but only because he believed it came from someone else.

That disconnect says so much more about the marriage than the hoax ever could.

This feeling of trying so hard to be valued is textbook in relationships where emotional validation has eroded.

At the center of this story sits a deceptively simple question: is it wrong to lie when the truth keeps getting rejected? What OP describes goes beyond a disagreement about taste.

Her husband repeatedly demeaned her efforts, compared her to others, and insisted her meals weren’t good enough. When someone receives criticism that personal and persistent, it often signals a power imbalance.

Relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman identifies contempt as one of the strongest predictors of divorce. In his research, he explains that mockery, name-calling, and dismissive superiority erode emotional connection quickly. OP’s husband calling her “worthless in the kitchen” fits squarely into that pattern.

Meanwhile, OP chose not to confront the disrespect directly. Instead, she constructed a workaround designed to meet two goals: end the criticism and avoid another fight. While her solution is unorthodox, it speaks to how people adapt when communication repeatedly fails.

According to a 2022 Pew Research report, 53 percent of partnered adults say they avoid certain conflicts because “it never changes anything”. Avoidance becomes a coping style.

Professional boundaries add another layer to the story. OP’s sister works as a chef, and her skill is real, which makes the ruse more believable. But the fact that OP learned from the same mother and has comparable talent raises a question many women face: why do their partners sometimes value an outsider’s labor more than their own?

Sociologist Arlie Hochschild calls this the “external expertise effect,” where household contributions get dismissed until performed by someone viewed as an authority.

The ruse shattered that illusion. Her husband praised the meals because he believed they were professionally made, not because the food changed. His reaction revealed a bias he never acknowledged.

Still, deception comes with complications. Marriage therapist Esther Perel often emphasizes that “secrecy thrives in relationships where emotional needs go unmet.” OP’s choice to lie reflects a deeper breakdown in how the couple communicates and supports one another. The lie solved a surface problem but didn’t address the core issue: disrespect.

From a practical standpoint, OP faces a crossroad. Experts recommend three steps when a partner repeatedly diminishes your contributions:

Recognize the emotional pattern. Contempt rarely stays isolated. If he devalues her cooking, he may devalue other efforts too.

Reclaim agency. OP has already done this financially and creatively, but emotional agency means naming the disrespect openly.

Re-establish boundaries. A partner needs to understand what behavior is unacceptable moving forward.

OP’s sister’s comment about offering her work hints that OP has talent and options outside the home, something that could build confidence if she chooses to pursue it. Many Reddit commenters interpret her husband’s behavior as abusive. Whether or not that label fits, his pattern of insults suggests a lack of emotional safety in the home.

Ultimately, this story isn’t about food. It’s about recognition. OP discovered that her husband only valued her when he didn’t know it was her. That realization alone is powerful enough to shift the entire future of the relationship.

Check out how the community responded:

Many Redditors jumped to defend OP, pointing out that the husband’s insults and comparisons were the real cruelty. They saw the lie as self-protection, not manipulation.

Big_Zucchini_9800 - NTA. The fact that he was SO insulting and vile about "your" food but now loves "sister's" food means he was just trying to hurt you, to break...

cassowary32 - NTA. But why are you still married to this AH??

NotShockedFruitWeird - NTA. Hope you have a separate account to put the money in that he doesn't know about, lol.

Some commenters didn’t celebrate the trick at all. They felt OP deserved better than someone who enjoyed belittling her. For them, the money didn’t compensate for the emotional damage.

completedett - YTA to yourself. Why would you stay with a man who enjoys hurting you like this? Your husband is a abuser.

steamyhotpotatoes - NTA but why would you stay? The intent behind this is clear, to make you question your abilities.

2npac - This is stupid. Why are you with an abusive a__hole? He trashes your cooking in front of your family? ESH.

A handful of users wondered whether the story was even possible, focusing on timing, cleanup, and budgeting.

LoveColonels - Smells like rage bait.

MasterGas9570 - I'm struggling to believe this story. If you were cooking all the meals, then there would be noticeable dishes. And how are you doing all this with full-time...

GladysSchwartz23 - This HAS to be fake.

This story sits at an odd intersection of humor, heartbreak, and resilience.

On one hand, it’s undeniably satisfying to see someone reclaim power after being criticized for so long. On the other, the deeper emotional pattern is hard to ignore. When the only way a partner can appreciate your effort is by believing it came from someone else, something in the relationship has shifted in a painful direction.

OP’s creativity solved a temporary problem. The bigger question is whether this marriage can thrive long-term without addressing the disrespect at its core. Healthy relationships depend on mutual acknowledgment and honest communication, not secret workarounds, no matter how clever they might be.

But for now, OP gets to keep her confidence, her skills, and her extra income. Whether the truth comes out or stays buried, the story already revealed what mattered most: she deserved admiration all along.

What do you think? Was OP justified in her deception, or should she have confronted the disrespect directly?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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