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Dad Refuses to Remove Daughter’s Bedroom Lock Until Brother-in-Law Moves Out – Wife Says He “Ruined the Family”

by Sunny Nguyen
December 5, 2025
in Blog

The trouble started long before the lock ever clicked shut. A father opened his home to his brother in law and two teenage nieces after they lost theirs, believing family steps up when others won’t. It felt like the right thing to do.

His wife certainly thought so. But once the three guests settled in, the lines between generosity and intrusion began to blur, and soon his sixteen year old daughter Zoey could barely keep her belongings from disappearing. Makeup, clothes, her school laptop, anything the girls touched seemed to end up damaged or simply gone.

He tried to be patient. He tried to reason with everyone involved. But the day Zoey broke down in tears over a makeup kit she saved for, that patience snapped. What followed was a clash of parenting styles, boundaries, and loyalty that tore the household in half.

Dad Refuses to Remove Daughter’s Bedroom Lock Until Brother-in-Law Moves Out - Wife Says He “Ruined the Family”
Not the actual photo

Here’s The Original Postl:

'AITA for telling my wife the lock on my daughter's door does not get removed til my brother inlaw and his daughters are out of our house?'

My brother in-law (Sammy) lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin daughters (Olivia & Sloane18) with him a...

His sister (my wife) and I have one daughter (Zoey 16) and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine.

Olivia & Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. they used to walk into her room and take everything they get their hands on.

Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things.

My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this. After all, they're girls and this's typical teenage girls behavior. I completely disagreed.

Last straw was when Zoey bought a 60$ m.a.c makeup-kit that looks like a paintset that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls,

Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. Don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit...

I told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize but I got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out the house because...

Sammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, the girls were extremely upset. Sammy asked about it and I straight up told him.

He said "my daughters aren't thieves!!! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff" he said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks...

adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality trying to appear older than she is. He accused me of being...

I told him this's between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from "spending...

then demanded I remove it but I said this lock does not get removed til her brother and his daughters are out of our house.

She got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family'll hate me for this. so I reminded her that

I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do so she should start with shaming/blaming them for not taking their own son and...

if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home.. Everyone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife...

When Sammy moved in with his twins Olivia and Sloane, it felt temporary and manageable. They were eighteen, old enough to understand boundaries. At least, that’s what the father assumed.

Zoey didn’t mind having relatives around, but she did mind being treated like her room was a communal supply closet. The cousins walked in without knocking, helped themselves to whatever caught their eye, and brushed off Zoey’s frustration as if it were unreasonable.

He spoke to them. He spoke to Sammy. He spoke to his wife. Nothing changed. Instead, he was told this was “typical teenage girl behavior.” He disagreed completely, but tried to keep the peace. He didn’t want to spark tension in a home already crowded with emotions and expectations.

Then came the makeup kit. Zoey had spent over a month saving sixty dollars for something that felt grown up and special. It looked like a little paint set, and she was proud of it. But one afternoon she found it on her bed, smeared and ruined.

Sloane had taken it without asking and mixed the colors together like it was finger paint. Zoey’s face crumpled. She cried not just for the makeup, but for the constant feeling of being invaded.

That was it for him. He saw her transferring valuables out of the house to a friend’s place because she no longer felt safe in her own room. So he bought her a lock. A simple, cheap lock, just to let her breathe.

The reaction was instant outrage. Sammy accused him of calling his daughters thieves. He insisted girls “borrow” from each other all the time and dismissed Zoey’s purchase as unnecessarily expensive, even calling her desire for quality makeup a “defect in her personality.” He expected the father to scold Zoey instead of defending her.

That was the moment something shifted. He stood his ground and made it clear the lock was staying. Not out of spite, but out of protection. His wife sided with her brother, insisting that a locked door was disrespectful to guests and made the cousins feel unwelcome. She demanded he remove it.

He refused. The lock, he said, stays until the guests leave.

His wife accused him of trying to kick out her family. He reminded her that “her family” had refused to take Sammy in at all. He was the one who opened his home. He was the one dealing with the chaos.

And now he was the one being punished for setting a basic boundary. Soon the entire household fell into a heavy silent treatment aimed at both him and Zoey, as if they were the ones causing the trouble.

What hurt most was watching Zoey absorb that coldness from her own mother. The girl already felt pushed aside in her own home. Now she felt alone.

REFLECTION

From the outside, the dynamic seems less about makeup and more about control. The father felt responsible for making sure his daughter felt safe.

His wife felt responsible for shielding her brother. Sammy felt entitled to impose his parenting style under someone else’s roof. And the girls behaved like the house was theirs to roam freely.

Could the father have handled it differently? Maybe. But sometimes the smallest boundary, like a locked door, reveals the much larger cracks underneath.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Most commenters sided firmly with the father. Many were stunned that the wife chose appearances over her daughter’s emotional safety. 

riblz11 − NTA. Don't back down. You are the only one sticking up for Zoey. If her cousins want to use expensive makeup, give them your wife's. I guarantee she...

0biterdicta − NTA. Your wife harbors someone who tells you that Zoey has a "defect" in her personality for buying an expensive make up kit, that's the kind of thing...

amyhenderson_ − NTA Your daughter doesn’t feel like she has any privacy or respect in her own home and you gave her a lock to give her back her privacy.

You tried talking to your wife, your BiL and your nieces and that got you nowhere - if your daughter has to accept 3 additional adults living in her home,

they need to accept her very reasonable boundaries of not taking and ruining her things. Good for you showing your daughter you respect and support her.

Others pointed out that the twins were in fact stealing, because borrowing without consent is just a nicer word for the same thing. 

[Reddit User] − NTA my daughters aren't thieves! !! it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each others stuff"

His daughthers are in fact thieves because there's a thin line in between stealing and borrowing and that is our bestie CONSENT. His daughters don't ask yours for permission on...

They help themselves into her room, into her cabinets/closet, take whatever they feel entilted to, use it however they want even if they drestroy it and then IF SO your...

You are being an amazing parent and Zoey will forever be grateful for having her back the way a parent should. Whereas, your wife.

I don't know if it's the fact that those are her brother's daughters or if she just doesn't care about people getting through her daguther at whatever cost just to...

and damage it. ^(Also, funny how it went from "my daughters aren't thieves" to "my daughters just wanted to spend time with yours and now they aren't allowed to do...

Stoat__King − "I let Sammy and his family move in which's something her OWN family refused to do" I think you need to think ahead with this situation.

You are your daughter are already uncomfortable in your own home. Your wife is upset. You need to do what is right for your immediate family before it puts even...

I think you need to get them to leave before it gets worse. It doesnt take much imagination to see how it could. How uncomfortable do you have to be...

You have a right to feel safe /comfortable in your own home and anyone that militates against that is playing a dangerous game.

A few advised asking Sammy and the girls to move out entirely before the situation shattered the marriage.

MillieHillie − NTA. Normal behaviour is asking to borrow stuff and respecting a persons decision if they say no. You don't walk into other people's rooms without permission, 'borrowing' without...

And good on you for standing by your daughter. She needs her privacy and also needs a sense of ownership, her belongings are hers and those girls don't respect that.

AceofSpadesYT − NTA Sammy sounds like he is spoiling his daughters and justifying their actions by blaming the victim (Zoey). Kicking them out may be a good idea at this...

Knitsanity − NTA. Good for you for standing up for your daughter. The lock should stay. There would be no need for it except that the girls are thieves.

The adult girls should pay your daughter back for the makeup. She saved for it. They stole it. Time for the rest of the family to take a turn at...

Confusion-Advanced − NTA. And why the heck are you supposed to treat them like daughters? They have their dad with them.

cagedjaybird − NTA, but wow, I'm shocked that your wife cares more about appearances and her brother/nieces than her own daughter. Giving her own child the silent treatment?

That's just insane to me. And don't think your daughter hasn't noticed that her mother isn't on her side. That's gotta hurt. Your wife needs to wake up.

In the end, the lock wasn’t about shutting people out. It was about giving one teenage girl a place where she could feel safe, respected, and heard.

Every kid deserves that, especially in their own home. Whether the family repairs itself now depends on whether the adults in the house decide to value privacy and fairness over convenience and avoidance.

What do you think, readers? Was this simple justice or a spark that should have been lit long ago?

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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