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Grandma Spends Months Making A Handmade Cookbook, Mom Calls It ‘Cheap’ And ‘Narcissistic’

by Leona Pham
December 11, 2025
in Social Issues

Gifts can mean different things to different people. For some, it’s all about price tags and impressing the crowd. For others, it’s the thought, sentiment, and story behind what you’re giving. But when those two ideas collide in the middle of a family event, things can get awkward faster than you’d think.

One woman found herself facing that exact clash after spending hours crafting a unique, heartfelt present for her granddaughter’s big birthday. She expected warmth and appreciation, not criticism and accusations about her intentions.

The moment left her confused, hurt, and wondering if she misread what her granddaughter would actually want. Scroll down to see why this has become such a heated question for her.

A grandmother faces criticism after giving her granddaughter a heartfelt handmade cookbook at her birthday party

Grandma Spends Months Making A Handmade Cookbook, Mom Calls It ‘Cheap’ And ‘Narcissistic’
not the actual photo

'AITA for letting you know I am divorcing you by sending you a thread on the website that you use to ignore me?'

My friend's son told me about this app and told me I should post it in here to get some unbiased opinion.

I (59F) have three kids (39M, 35F, 32F). My husband died 10 years ago from then I have been on my own.

I live in a small townhouse. I am not poor but I am comfortable with my living situation.

So, recently, my son Keith (39M) told me he wanted to throw a party for my grand daughter,

Rita's 18th birthday because she is going to be an adult. He wants the day to be memorable to her.

I know my son. He loves his kids very much. I love my grandkids as well.

I know he is going to buy her some expensive gifts. I on the other hand cannot afford to buy something expensive.

But I wanted my gift to be thoughtful and show efforts that I love Rita as well. So, I had an idea.

I have been a home cook for more than 30 years.

I used to work in a restaurant before and then moved on to having my own catering business in my early years.

I loved creating new recipes and altering the old ones to my own.

So, I had an idea to make a compilation of some of my signature recipes and make them into a book.

I wrote down 20 recipes on my computer and with the help of some grateful people I was able to print them out.

I then had another idea to make the recipesinto a cook book.

So, I went on a publication house and told them to make a cook book

that looks like an ancient book except it will contain recipes. I did that because

1) Rita has a passion for cooking. She wants to go to culinary school and hope to open her own restaurant chain.

2) Rita also likes things that are like medieval, she is into one of those Lord of the rings kind of things.

So I thought it was a thoughtful gift for my lovely granddaughter.

When the day arrived, I packed it up along with her favorite cookies.

When it was time to open the presents, she got a lot of stuff and when it was time for mine.

I was happy. She opened it and gasped.

I explained it to her that the book contains all the signature recipes I have made over the years and I want her to have it.

She said thank you and that she appreciates my gift and someday she will try to recreate it.

Everyone seems to be happy except for her mother.

She pulled me to side and told me I should have made more effort into her gift and not give her a cheap book.

I was appalled. I told her Rita likes it and that's all that should matter.

She told me Rita only pretended to like it because she doesn't want to be disrespectful

and Rita is still a child who doesn't know anything.

And also added that it was a little narcissist of me to make Rita's gift about myself and my cooking rather than it being about her.

Now, I am sad. If Rita didn't like it, I would be happy to replace it.

But it is now making me wonder if my gift was actually cheap or not.

Should I have just bought something a little bit pricy rather than giving her a cook book?

The thought behind a gift often matters more than its price tag. In this story, the grandmother poured decades of experience, love, and creativity into a gift for her granddaughter, a personalized cookbook reflecting both her culinary skills and her granddaughter’s passions.

At its heart, this act was about connection, thoughtfulness, and celebrating a milestone in a meaningful way.

The emotional dynamics at play are nuanced. The grandmother was motivated by love and a desire to honor her granddaughter’s future aspirations, while also celebrating a shared passion for cooking.

The granddaughter, Rita, reacted with genuine appreciation, even if her mother perceived it differently. The mother’s reaction, critical and dismissive, introduced conflict and self-doubt.

The grandmother’s intentions were pure, yet the mother framed the gift as insufficient, leading the grandmother to question her own judgment and generosity.

This tension reflects the broader psychological challenge of balancing intention, perception, and the expectations of others in family dynamics.

From another perspective, this scenario highlights generational differences in how gifts are valued. While the grandmother prioritized thought, creativity, and personal meaning, the mother placed emphasis on monetary value and social perception.

Psychologically, this divergence illustrates how people often evaluate gifts based on their own mental frameworks.

Research shows that individuals high in materialistic values may undervalue symbolic gestures, whereas those valuing emotional connection perceive thoughtfulness as far more significant.

According to Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counselor and author, the meaning behind a gift can have profound psychological impact, strengthening bonds, fostering self-esteem, and communicating care.

She notes that when gift-givers invest time, thought, and effort, even without high cost, the gesture communicates attention, love, and understanding.

Applying this expert insight, it’s clear the grandmother’s gift was thoughtful and meaningful, reflecting both her love and her granddaughter’s interests.

The mother’s critique, though emotionally charged, does not diminish the value of the gift to the intended recipient. The granddaughter’s authentic appreciation validates the effort and emotional significance behind it.

For anyone navigating similar situations, the lesson is to trust the intent and meaning behind thoughtful actions, rather than allowing external opinions to overshadow the genuine emotional bond a gift creates.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

These Redditors mock Steffan relentlessly, calling him a mama’s boy, a coward, or a joke

strangeloop414 − Imagine bro sitting down and reading this at first like

"wow, haha imagine if this was actually for me?

Wait. .. oh that might be me because... omg the necklace thing??? The ultrasound... MOMMMMM! !!!"

Sudden-Magazine-4848 − NTA. Question for Steffan…

Do you scroll through Reddit comparing boobs to your moms while she’s breastfeeding you?

NosferaTouffe − Steffan, buddy.... PLEASE reply and tell us how much a good boy you are! Mommy will be so proud!

AdmirableAvocado − damn Steffan, you fucked up. nobody likes a mommas boy. grow a pair. nta

FitzDesign − So now what you need to do is send a link of this post to Stefan! Wouldn’t want him to possibly miss it.

Good luck OP, you’ll be great now that you’ve lost that 200 lbs that were hanging around your neck.

I’m sure mommy will be thrilled now that you’re gone and she’s gained the 200 lbs. NTA Updateme!

Primary_Afternoon_46 − I can’t believe you came between him and his mom, you hussy

pinkfluffyunicorn92 − This is the pettiest thing I’ve seen on Reddit in a long time.

Good on you for leaving this giant man baby. You suck steffan.

Don't forget to ask mommy to wipe your nose after you cried to her

DoryanLou − Hands up if you hate Steffan

These commenters cheer OP on, praise her exit, and urge her to secure custody and safety

aquavenatus − I wish I could give this post a Gold because this was a brilliant, “F U, I’m leaving you! ” note.

Not only did OP post the note where her STBX will find it and read it, but also found a very clever way to make it public!

OP, make sure all of the custody arrangements and the visitation agreements are done with your lawyer and the judge,

and without your former MIL! I’m sorry it came to this; your ex never deserved you. Obviously, NTA.

zeb5364 − good luck in your future endeavors, try to get physical evidence of abuse to block MIL from being around your kid.

Don't expend any more mental energy on him

AffectionateAgent264 − You need to report his mother for hitting the child

and do what you can to protect your baby from her. Good luck, you are NTA

These users condemn the MIL as dangerous, controlling, or abusive toward the child

Strong_Arm8734 − Nta, hope Steffan and mommywife are eternally trapped with each other.

She failed raising her son into a complete autonomous human

and would have tried to damage your daughter. He would have let her.

Suspicious-Local-280 − Steffan you're a pos and reddit hates you.

OP, you rock. Keep your p__cho MIL away from your baby. Best of luck for everything! NTAH of course.

The woman’s decision to turn the internet into a stage for her announcement highlights both frustration and ingenuity, making us question how modern technology intersects with human emotions.

Do you think her digital divorce notice was a bold act of self-liberation, or did it cross a line of decorum? How would you deliver news when words alone don’t seem enough? Share your hot takes below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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