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Wife Works Three Jobs While Her In-Laws Claim She Doesn’t Do Enough Housework

by Sunny Nguyen
December 28, 2025
in Social Issues

We have all heard that when you marry someone, you also marry their family. For most of us, that means extra birthday cards and the occasional awkward holiday dinner. But for one young woman, it turned into an emotional obstacle course that felt impossible to win. Imagine pouring your heart into a celebration for your family, only to find out they were waiting for your exit.

A Redditor recently shared a deeply personal story about a birthday party that revealed a hidden side of her in-laws. After years of hard work and contributing to her home, she found herself the target of a smear campaign. The story highlights the pain of discovering that the people you serve do not always have your back. It is a sensitive look at how one person found the strength to prioritize their own peace.

Let us take a gentle look at this difficult journey.

The Story

Wife Works Three Jobs While Her In-Laws Claim She Doesn't Do Enough Housework
Not the actual photo

Overheard my in-laws expressing their true feelings about me?

I (24F) recently attended my MIL birthday party. I spent 6 hours making her cake. There were about 25 guests, and after everyone had lunch, I went to the kitchen

and did all the dishes. My FIL took a photo of me and sent it to a group with people I don't know with the caption.

"There is a first for everything." I walked out to his whole family, talking about me behind my back. I spoke with my husband (28M),

and he said that they are just trying to support him because they feel I don't do enough chores at home. He said they dealt with it

in the wrong way, but they had the best intentions. We have been together for 5 years, and we have a 3 year old. His grandparents called

me to drop some warm clothes off for our son the next week, and when I walked into their home, I heard my FIL talking

to his dad. He said, "When she wanted to leave, I thought it's best she just f*ck off." His father then responded

"But what about their son" to which my FIL responded "She's the type of woman to take the child but she also the type

of woman to palm him off to other people so (my husband) would get him back soon enough". How do I navigate this?

I don't want to stay in a relationship with a family that is toxic. He has spoken with his family multiple times

over the years about how they treat me, but nothing changes. Edit: I've been told to add to the post that I work 3 jobs

to support us, so I'm home a lot less than him and have a lot less spare time. Also, something I missed

was that the birthday party was not hosted by me. It was at their house. I was a guest and had no obligation to

do dishes. I definitely do fewer chores than he does due to my work schedule..

UPDATE:

I had a conversation with him this morning about his family having supervised visits with our son, and he wasn't happy.

He thinks I'm punishing his whole family for something a few of his family members did. I was super upset with the lack of support, again,

and decided he was never going to make me or my feelings his priority and thought it best to leave. Everything in the house belongs to me,

but his parents paid our rent yesterday to help him without me knowing, so now I have to move out. He doesn't think it's healthy living in a house

with someone he's trying to "get over" so I'm currently trying to figure out how to save for another rental with first months rent

and a deposit which is just under $1000 USD. It's not small money for me, and I don't have savings since everything I make/made

goes into the home. I know there will be a lot of drama soon with his family since I've made this decision, and if anyone is interested, I will provide...

Reading this story truly pulls at my heart because it feels like a total betrayal of trust. It is incredibly heavy to hear about a woman working three separate jobs and still feeling the need to “earn” her place by doing everyone’s dishes.

The most difficult part is hearing that the father-in-law took a mocking photo of her while she was helping. It feels so unkind to laugh at someone who is trying so hard to be part of the group. Seeing a relationship reach a point where a partner will not stand up for their spouse is heartbreaking. It is a brave thing to walk away from a home you built with your own hands when the respect is gone.

Expert Opinion

When a family group starts talking about one member behind their back, experts call this “triangulation.” This often happens in families where the parents struggle to let their adult children grow up and form their own independent units. The in-laws may feel a need to keep control over their son, and the wife becomes the easy target for their frustrations.

According to a report from Psychology Today, a partner who refuses to set boundaries with their parents is often struggling with “enmeshment.” This is a state where the boundaries between family members are blurred. The son may feel like he is betraying his parents if he stands up for his wife. This creates a lonely environment for the spouse who is being excluded.

Statistically, the “invisible load” of housework and child care still falls heavily on women, even when they are the primary earners. A 2024 study from The Pew Research Center shows that women in “egalitarian” marriages still spend significantly more time on chores. In this Redditor’s case, working three jobs should have made her an equal partner, but her in-laws still judged her based on traditional chores.

Dr. Susan Forward, author of Toxic In-Laws, notes that when a partner says their family has “good intentions” while being hurtful, they are actually gaslighting their spouse. “Support from a spouse must be visible and active,” she explains. “When it is passive, it sends a message that the family’s opinion matters more than the marriage.”

Ultimately, the core issue is the breakdown of the “marital circle.” A marriage needs a solid perimeter that keeps external negativity out. When a spouse leaves that gate open for their parents to criticize, the internal trust often crumbles beyond repair.

Community Opinions

Readers felt that the husband’s lack of a spine was the primary cause of the relationship failing.

Verydumbname69 − Your husband needs to stop being... and tell their family he's done with them.

I'm a man and you can relay a message to your husband... for letting his parents talk s__t about you and not doing anything about it.

Material-Ad4224 − They want you to "f. .. Off" so do yourself a favour and leave. Your husband has no spine

and he won't get one any time soon! Go girl! It is better for your child to grow up in a broken home than a toxic one!

TipsyBaker_ − Who cares that they feel you don't do enough chores. Why are they even thinking about it to have an opinion?

This is all coming from your husband first, OP. He's been bitching about you to them

and now that it's blowing up to this extent he can't be bothered to stop it. Stop taking the abuse.

Others warned her about the dangers of leaving her child alone with the in-laws in the future.

mcmurrml − I wouldn't be leaving my child with them! ! That's over! I am telling you they will turn that child against you.

No more babysitting and no overnight. They just lost the privledge of grandparents. NEVER leave your child unsupervised with them again.

[Reddit User] − You tell your in-laws to their faces to f__k off and they'll never see your child ever again.

You tell your husband to grow a fkn spine and stand up for his wife or he can f__k off too

A few commenters questioned how the in-laws knew so much about their private home life.

Sea-Ad9057 − where are they getting this information from about you not doing enough chores

and why are they all down to you to do... do you really want your kid around people like this.

DodgeABall − Sounds like your husband is probably complaining about you to them behind your back.

Why would they think you don’t do enough chores at home otherwise? Ask your husband if he’s been doing that & ask him to stop.

Some users offered a way to handle the rudeness with a bit of dark humor or distance.

ku_78 − Lean into it. Every time you have to interact with them, join in on the s__t talking.

“Hey y’all! The useless b__ch is here... So anyway, how you doing? ” Just totally start f__king with them.

It will get you nowhere, but it will really make them feel uncomfortable.

Just_Getting_By_1 − I would refuse to go back or host them.

And even if your wimpy husband actually got them to behave why would you spend your valuable free time who think so poorly of you.

PoppyStaff − Your problem is not your in-laws, whom you can dump forever without a moment’s hesitation.

Your problem is your husband. Either he has your back 100% or he’s not doing his job.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you overhear family members speaking unkindly about you, it is important to center your own reality. It is helpful to realize that their comments are a reflection of their character, not your value. Your worth is not determined by how many dishes you do or how many hours you work.

The first step is often to have a direct conversation with your partner about loyalty. A healthy partnership requires both people to prioritize the relationship over external opinions. If the situation remains toxic, seeking financial independence and creating emotional distance is a very brave and necessary act for your well-being.

Conclusion

This story ends on a difficult note, but it is also a story of survival and self-respect. While the Redditor is facing a tough transition, she is also moving toward a life where she is truly appreciated. It serves as a reminder that family should be a place of safety, not a place of judgment.

What would you do if you overheard your in-laws speaking this way about you? Do you think the husband was truly at fault, or was he just a victim of his parents’ influence? Please share your kind words and thoughts with us below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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