A woman devoted years and substantial resources to supporting her closest friend through relentless fertility struggles and personal turmoil, only to face complete abandonment when her own world collapsed in tragedy.
The bond, deepened by marriage into family, fractured under waves of loss, envy, and irreversible decisions. She confessed profound betrayal after standing steadfast during endless hardships, yet being deserted in her darkest hour – losing her husband suddenly and facing grief alone. The raw account exposes the painful limits of loyalty when support flows only one way.
A woman’s brutal response to a former friend sparks debate on loyalty and boundaries.
The core issue here boils down to reciprocity, or the lack of it, in close relationships. The Redditor spent years offering emotional and financial support during their sister-in-law’s repeated fertility challenges, even postponing personal opportunities to stay close.
Yet, when roles reversed with a pregnancy announcement and then a devastating spousal loss, the support vanished. This one-sided dynamic highlights how friendships and family bonds thrive on mutual give-and-take, not endless taking from one side.
From one perspective, the sister-in-law’s reaction stemmed from deep pain. Infertility affects about 1 in 6 people worldwide, according to a 2023 World Health Organization report.
Struggles like multiple failed treatments and late losses can trigger profound jealousy or withdrawal, making it hard to celebrate others’ joys. Her choice to cut contact might have been a coping mechanism, not malice.
On the flip side, abandoning someone during their grief. Skipping a family funeral crosses into unfair territory. Reciprocity isn’t about perfect balance every moment, but over time, healthy relationships even out with mutual support.
When one person consistently gives while the other takes or disappears, resentment builds, leading to firm boundaries like the Redditor’s blunt response.
Psychologists emphasize that grief often fuels anger, a natural stage in healing. As renowned grief expert Elisabeth Kübler-Ross noted with David Kessler in On Grief and Grieving, “Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless.” This applies here: the Redditor’s harsh words likely channeled years of bottled-up hurt from feeling discarded.
Broadening out, these stories touch on larger issues like family dynamics during loss. Support from loved ones is crucial, yet a bereavement survey showed that for many, friends’ and family’s help often fades after a few months.
These dynamics often leave the grieving person feeling increasingly isolated just when ongoing empathy could make the biggest difference. In unbalanced relationships like this one, repeated abandonment amplifies that loneliness, making firm boundaries feel like the only path to personal healing and peace. True reciprocity builds stronger ties over time, while its absence breeds lasting resentment.
Neutral advice? Prioritizing self-protection isn’t cold, it’s essential. Setting boundaries protects your peace, especially after betrayal. If similar situations arise, consider open talks early or professional guidance to rebuild or release ties.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Some people believe the OP is fully justified (NTA) because Daisy abandoned her during grief and only returned for support.
Some people judge ESH because the specific phrasing about the baby’s death was unnecessarily cruel.
![[and possibly, if you're feeling aggro, adding that in light of your difficult relationship around Dan's death, you don't feel you could help her fairly]. "](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/wp-editor-1765965462934-4.webp "Woman Tells Grieving Sister-In-Law She Feels Nothing About Her Baby's Death After Years Of Betrayal")
Some people acknowledge the harshness but maintain NTA due to Daisy’s prior abandonment.
This Redditor’s shift from endless support to firm detachment underscores the realities of lopsided bonds tested by grief. Though words were sharp and emotions high, they reflected accumulated pain from unbalanced care.
Was the Redditor’s direct boundary reasonable after years of uneven effort, or did raw feelings push it too far? How would you navigate a once-close tie that vanished in your toughest times but resurfaced seeking aid? Drop your thoughts below!
