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Sister Furious After Brother Lends Her Expensive Makeup To His Girlfriend Without Asking

by Leona Pham
December 28, 2025
in Social Issues

Living with family often means shared space, shared routines, and occasional compromises. But even in close households, there are lines people expect not to be crossed. When those lines involve personal items, emotions can escalate quickly.

In this story, a young woman discovered that items she had carefully chosen and paid for were no longer where she left them. The explanation she received caught her completely off guard and left her feeling dismissed rather than understood.

As the discussion unfolded, past examples were brought up, blurring the difference between sharing and entitlement. Was her reaction justified, or did she overreact to something meant to be temporary? Read on to find out why this situation divided opinions so sharply.

One woman’s morning routine was derailed after discovering her brother lent her makeup to his girlfriend without asking

Sister Furious After Brother Lends Her Expensive Makeup To His Girlfriend Without Asking
Not the actual photo

'AITA for being angry my brother lent his girlfriend my makeup?'

I (21F) love makeup, and buy makeup that lasts longer and is of higher quality, but also thus more expensive.

It's worth it to me, however, and I save money from my paycheques every month to go towards these purchases.

I probably spend $80-100 a month on makeup.

When I got home from last night, my brother (28M) had his girlfriend over and they were watching a movie.

I said hello and went on to do my own thing the rest of the night.

The next morning, when I went to put my makeup on, I couldn't find either of my mascaras, my eyeshadow palette or my red lipstick.

I didn't start to panic yet, as I thought it could've been me or my mom who just moved something temporarily.

My brother got up from bed during my search, however, and when he asked what I was looking for, I told him.

He said, 'Oh, I lent that stuff to Kara. We're going out to a fancy dinner tonight and she doesn't have a lot of nice makeup."

I WAS PISSED. I asked him what gave him the right to lend MY makeup to his girlfriend without my permission.

He told me to chill out because he'd get it back from her tonight anyways.

I told him that wasn't the point - it was MY stuff and he should've asked before just giving it to his girlfriend.

I told him I didn't want her using my makeup because that's totally unsanitary.

He got angry because I've let "Olivia borrow my mascara before" - Olivia is our sister, so to me sharing makeup with your sister

(who reciprocates the favour) is a TOTALLY different story, and I wouldn't let her borrow my lipstick.

He isn't talking to me yet and is refusing to get my makeup back from his girlfriend until after their dinner tonight.

I don't want to use makeup after his girlfriend I don't know does. I told him he owes me at the very least a new mascara and lipstick.

He says I'm being annoying and mean. AITA?

There is a universal frustration that arises when something personal, something you chose, saved for, and care about, is used without your consent.

Most people have felt ignored at some point, especially when a boundary they assumed was understood turns out not to be. The emotional sting doesn’t come from the object itself but from feeling unseen and unheard.

In this story, the OP was not just annoyed about missing makeup. She was reacting to a deeper violation of ownership, hygiene, and respect. Makeup for her was something she invested in both financially and emotionally, part of her daily routine and self-expression.

When her brother lent her products to his girlfriend without asking, it removed her ability to choose how and by whom her belongings were used.

His dismissal of her concerns, telling her to “chill out” and comparing it to sharing with their sister, dismissed her perspective and compounded her frustration. Emotionally, she was balancing irritation with the sense that her autonomy had been disregarded.

People perceive personal items differently. For many who do not use makeup, cosmetics might seem like negligible objects to share. But for makeup users, especially those who take care in what they buy and how they use it, these products are closer to hygiene tools than casual accessories.

Mascara and lipstick touch sensitive areas, and there can be real concerns about cleanliness. What felt like a minor courtesy to her brother felt like a boundary breach to the OP. Neither side may have intended harm, but their assumptions about what was acceptable were fundamentally different.

Psychological research supports why this kind of boundary crossing can feel particularly upsetting. Personal boundaries are understood as the limits a person sets to protect their autonomy, privacy, and emotional safety. These can include boundaries around physical space, personal belongings, and items tied to bodily care.

When such boundaries are crossed without consent, people commonly feel anger, discomfort, and a loss of trust, even in close relationships. Healthy boundaries help maintain respectful interactions and clarify expectations for behavior

This context helps explain why the OP’s reaction was strong but valid. Her discomfort was not just about the makeup disappearing temporarily but about an assumption that her consent wasn’t needed.

Her brother’s refusal to immediately retrieve the items reinforced the notion that her preferences were secondary. While replacing the products doesn’t erase the experience, it is a tangible step toward acknowledging her boundaries.

Ultimately, this story highlights an important lesson for shared households: permission matters. Especially with items related to hygiene and the body, borrowing should be explicitly agreed upon, not assumed.

A realistic resolution involves accountability, replacing what was used, and a clear understanding of boundaries moving forward. Consent is not optional; it is fundamental to trust.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These commenters agreed the brother crossed boundaries and owed replacements

iknow_huh − NTA not only did he lend it to her, he let her leave the house with it. WTH?! Can you message her on your own like via Facebook?

I would let her know that you did not give him permission to allow her to take your makeup home, find the practice unsanitary and let her know

1. She needs to keep it and 2. that both of them owe you the retail value back so you can replace it when they return from dinner tonight. that's...

TheVue221 − NTA. That was rude and inconsiderate , he could have asked first. And secondly, gross.

You don’t share mascara and eye and lip stuff with other people. He owes you a new mascara and lipstick and she can keep the old.

WavesnMountains − NTA he didn't just lend it out, he gave your stuff away because sharing mascara and lipstick is unsanitary, you can't accept those items back

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your brother had no right to touch your belongings let alone lend them out. What he did is as good as theft.

This group stressed makeup sharing is unsanitary and a health risk

oliviapach00 − NTA. Sharing makeup is so gross and unsanitary.

banjotwenf − NTA thats super unsanitary and he stole them from you in the first place. If I was his GF I would not want to use his sister’s mascara...

yuck He definitely owes you new mascara and lipstick. If she had a stye or a cold sore or anything you can get it too now.

CyborgsRHere − NTA Gross. Your brother owes you new makeup. Just tell that gf you might have pink eye. She’ll never want to borrow it again.

dezzykay − NTA. That's how people get pink eye.

CantoErgoSum − NTA. That’s disgusting and unsanitary, not to mention he did it without your permission.

That’s n__ty to use someone else’s products that go on your face, and the gf should have had the presence of mind to say no and ew.

They owe you the cost of the makeup and they better stay out of your stuff. That’s just gross.

[Reddit User] − NTA! !Sharing makeup is disgusting and especially lipstick and mascara!

My sister and I occasionally share makeup, but that's rare and never includes lipstick or mascara!

He doesn't understand, I'm guessing, but he and his gf should be ashamed of themselves for this weird, unsanitary stunt!

Put your makeup in a lockbox and make sure he can't get into it anymore!

These users framed the act as theft, saying he had no right to take it

SmellsLikeRainyDays − NTA, firstly that's hella unsanitary, secondly why the hell does he think its okay to take something that he didn't own in

the first place and let his girlfriend use it, you spent your hard earned money on it and he has not right to pretty much steal it!

Matejacar02 − NTA at all. Dunno who is a bigger a__hole, the brother who is stealing and doesnt even apologize,or give a s__t Or The girl who legit took that...

These commenters emphasized makeup as personal and financially meaningful

unclejoel − NTA. Your brother sucks. I imagine he has no idea what it means to you or what it costs. I’ve spent many hours shopping for makeup with my...

I have seen her save money to buy a specific palette. I have seen her get excited when something new gets announced.

It is a very personal thing that means so much more than grabbing a tube of toothpaste from Walgreens. He owes you for the replacement of those items and an...

What is his thing? His passion or hobby? I am looking for some parallel to help him understand.

These commenters called it theft, cited hygiene risks, and urged full replacement

[Reddit User] − Biggest NTA I've ever given Take his toothbrush and (pretend ) to give it to some one to borrow.

He can have it back when they are done. To emphasise the hygiene issue I'd also then take items of Equal resale value from hi.

And tell him if they aren't returned NOW unused, they will be sold to replace with new - as you can't use them once she has.

It would also be the fact of he possibly has some thing he collects and treasures (but not sentimental)-

Xbox games, books, pop figures whatever he is "into" and show him how wrong it is to just take people's stuff And his girlfriend is gross too.

You shouldn't share make up, pro MUAS have to completely sanitise make up products normally the current climate it's even more important.

I'd just text his girlfriend and say that it's not sanitary to use someone else's make up and if she uses it - she will need to replace it with...

Mascara should NEVER be shared - naturally you have eyelash mites etc - can totally give you both pink eye too Lipsticks and other products -

you could literally be passing the herpes virus! Let alone any other unmentionable virus'!

[Reddit User] − NTA, he stole your makeup and gave it to his girlfriend. You’re not supposed to share makeup, you can get pinkeye or cold sores if the other...

It’s just gross I’d put together a list of everything he took with the price to replace it and make him pay you back.

In the end, readers largely sympathized with the woman who felt her boundaries were brushed aside in the name of convenience. While some saw the act as thoughtless rather than malicious, many agreed that personal items, especially ones tied to hygiene and self-expression, deserve respect.

So where’s the line between family sharing and overstepping? Was her demand for replacements reasonable, or did the situation spiral too far?

How would you handle it if a sibling loaned out something personal without asking? Share your hot takes below!

 

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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