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Woman Refuses To Let Parents Babysit Grandkids After They Disregard Her Wishes And Kill Her Cat

by Layla Bui
January 2, 2026
in Social Issues

It’s often said that the way people treat animals says a lot about their character. But when family members ignore your wishes regarding your pet, it can bring up larger concerns about respect, responsibility, and trust.

One woman recently faced a heartbreaking situation when her parents’ disregard for her request led to the death of her cat, and her response to that loss has become the center of a family dispute.

In the aftermath, she made a drastic decision to prevent her parents from spending time with their grandchildren unless they respected her boundaries.

Was this the right call, or was it an overreaction fueled by grief and anger? Read on to see why this family’s conflict is dividing opinions and whether the decision was too extreme or justified by the circumstances.

A woman refuses to let her parents babysit their grandchildren after they ignored her wishes and caused her cat’s death

Woman Refuses To Let Parents Babysit Grandkids After They Disregard Her Wishes And Kill Her Cat
not the actual photo

'AITAH for refusing my parents their grandchildren cause they killed my cat?'

I (26f) moved to a new state about a year ago to live with my husband (24m).

When we were moving me down, I had a cat named Kylo.

Cutest little tuxedo cat with the personality to follow.

I had to house Kylo with my parents until my husband and I can afford to bring him home.

I had had a few cats pass away from being outdoor cats; Shy from a hit and run, Ashlee from a n__ty neighbour poisoning her,

and Pumpkin running away. When I dropped Kylo off to my parents,

I explicitly told them to keep Kylo inside and that he was strictly an indoor cat.

They agreed when I initially dropped them off, but after moving down, I’d get messages saying “oh but he’s curious. he just wants to see”

(side note, my parents own 3 dogs and keep the back door open full time)

I constantly told them “no, kylo is an indoor cat. keep him inside”.

I begged and begged them to respect my decision with my cat and I had thought they had…

I received a phone call from my father saying that Kylo was hit by a car and killed today (Sep 17th, 2023).

In the midsts of sobbing and yelling at my dad, “I TOLD YOU TO KEEP HIM INSIDE!!” my dad said “oh stop… it’s just a cat”

so I promptly hung up on him and immediately called my best friend (26f).

After a good cry and a stern talking, my husband and I decided to keep my parents from watching their grandchildren without us there,

no matter the circumstances. If they can’t respect my one wish with my cat, what is to say they will respect my wishes with my children.

So AITAH for not allowing my parents the chance to babysit their grandchildren.

Losing Kylo, the OP’s cat, was devastating, especially given the explicit instructions to keep him inside, which were repeatedly ignored by the parents. For the OP, this wasn’t simply about a pet, it was about a long‑standing emotional bond and a clear request that was disregarded.

The grief felt here is not trivial; studies have shown that the emotional attachment people form with their pets can be just as deep as the bonds formed with family members.

Losing a pet in an avoidable way can trigger intense feelings of sadness, anger, and guilt, as recognized by psychological research on pet grief.

The OP’s reaction, though harsh, is a response to feeling emotionally invalidated by her parents’ failure to honor her boundaries. Boundaries are a cornerstone of healthy relationships, and when consistently ignored, especially by family members, emotional distress can result.

Psychology teaches that boundary violations in families, particularly when a child’s wishes are dismissed, can lead to trust erosion and strained relationships.

The OP’s decision to withhold babysitting privileges for her parents was an extension of this frustration. If they could not respect her simple wish for Kylo’s safety, how could she trust them to respect her wishes for her children?

This emotional rift underscores a deeper issue about how we navigate the respect we receive in familial relationships.

A pet loss like Kylo’s can be seen as a symbol of how deeply the OP felt her family’s disregard. Her anger is a reflection of unmet emotional needs and growing resentment toward the people she should have been able to rely on for support.

Pet loss grief is real, and its psychological effects are often dismissed, yet it can significantly impact a person’s emotional well-being.

The OP may not be wrong for wanting to protect her family’s boundaries. Her decision to distance her parents from babysitting their grandchildren is not an act of malice but an emotional protection mechanism, ensuring that her family’s emotional and physical well-being will be prioritized over anyone’s disregard for her wishes.

This situation isn’t about a “cat” being lost. It’s about feeling unheard and emotionally unsupported by the very people who should have understood the significance of what was at stake.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

These Redditors strongly supported the daughter, arguing that her parents’ neglectful actions had consequences and that her response was reasonable

Effective-Several − NTA. Your sentence said it all: If they can’t respect my one wish with my cat,

what is to say they will respect my wishes with my children.

What if your children have allergies or are intolerant of certain foods?

The old, ”Oh, but he/she/they were curious”, they just wanted a taste (of a forbidden food item), won’t work a second time.

dyn4m0_pwr5 − “Your child ran off. Don’t worry, you can make another” is the attitude they seem to have.

NTA. Some pets mean most of all things to some people

hdmx539 − NTA. Your mother isn't entitled to your children just because she's their grandmother, it's a privilege to be a grandparent.

She lost that privilege.

This group focused on the deeper issue of respect and boundaries, noting that the parents’ actions showed a lack of regard for their daughter’s wishes

Laquila − NTA. When you have your kids, you get to decide who watches them, supervised or not.

You are not obligated to allow your parents to have your kids without you there.

Even if they hadn't been so grossly irresponsible and so damn cold about your cat.

Don't start life as a parent thinking your parents have any rights or say in anything.

What you say goes. Always. So sorry about your precious Kylo. That's gotta hurt so bad. All the best.

JoeDelta14 − NTA - The fact that they called you and tried to change your mind on letting the cat outside is actually pretty telling.

They will decide how and what to do, regardless of your wishes and instructions

because they think they know better and don’t respect your choices.

It’s probably because you’re their child they they think they know better.

Don’t want your kids to have sugar late in the day, sorry but grandparents know best.

Don’t want them playing on their screens, sorry grandparents think you’re being ridiculous.

Even if they don’t agree with you, they would honor your choices if they respected you.

When watching your children they are always going to do what they want regardless of your expressed instructions.

oldcreaker − NTA: how can you trust anyone who agrees to your rules, then does whatever the hell they want?

And can't even apologize afterwards?

These commenters delved into the larger issue of parental expectations and the consequences of treating the daughter like a “third parent” rather than respecting her adulthood

MembershipParking963 − I’m seeing a lot of people misunderstanding something.

My husband and I aren’t refusing my parents all contact with our kids… we are refusing UNSUPERVISED contact.

We lost our first born prematurely last year and they both ghosted me and refused to talk to me on top of exploiting

my dead son for a GoFundMe I never asked for, making my traumatic experience everyone’s business…

Then they decide to ignore everything I’ve been saying about my cat which in turn got him killed.

My parents WILL NEVER be ALONE with our children.

I appreciate all the support and all the hugs from everyone who has been understanding.

For those who have said rude and mean things to me, not only do I hope your socks are wet,

but I couldn’t add every little detail to what FULLY lead up to this decision.

Learn to be nicer and more gentle with people. Thanks

dinkidoo7693 − I hate people who say "it's only a cat" that was your family member

and you trusted them to keep him safe which they didn't do. My heartbreaks for you.

futuremrstrevornoah − My dad “hates cats” (he really doesn’t and he’s such a great guy),

and he would spoil my cat to the end of the earth if I needed to leave her with him.

He would be JUST as concerned about taking care of my cat as I am.

THAT’S what loving, caring parents do. If it matters to you it matters to them.

End of story. Your parents showed how little they respect you, your wishes, and your needs.

If I were you, I would never leave my children with them unsupervised as well. Edit to include the official: NTA

-BOOST- − I think your logic is ok. My only question is why you left your cat there in the first place when you knew

they kept a door open 24/7 for their dogs. Seems like this is more a case of them

not helicopter parenting a cat instead of intentionally k__ling your pet.

elle_hell − People in the comments contradicting themselves. “Your cat is your responsibility, you’re the ah.”

Like ok, so maybe OP has learned that if it’s not safe for a cat it’s not safe for a kid.

A cat is a lot easier to manage than a kid and they couldn’t do it. So now op IS taking responsibility of her kids by keeping them safe.

She’s not punishing her parents. She’s protecting her kids. NTA and I’m very sorry about your cat.

MamaPagan − NTA Also make it very clear to them why they don't get to be around your kid alone.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend (cat). I am traumatized by the loss of mine

(heatwave... dryer was making weird sounds when I ran a load of laundry. .. still not ok) and it's not as simple as "it's just a cat"...

It's not even just that he's dead now, it's the fact that it was 100% preventable and they refused to listen to your one single boundary about it.

They are the cause of your cats death because they're (probably) bad pet owners and at this point, parents.

JJQuantum − NTA. Your logic is solid. Plus, your dad was an a__hole about the cat. Very sorry to hear about it.

This group questioned the OP’s decision to leave the cat in a potentially unsafe environment

Noodlefanboi − side note, my parents own 3 dogs and keep the back door open full time.

And, knowing this, you made the decision to leave your cat there for an indefinite amount of time?

Sorry but YTA. You should have found a different place to keep him rather than expecting your parents

and their 3 dogs to change their lives for over a year.

How much longer were you expecting it to take for you to be able to afford taking care of your own pet?

bigchicago04 − ESH Your dad was callous in telling you were overreacting.

But you knew they had dogs and left their back door open full time.

How exactly did you expect them to keep the cat inside in that situation?

Nothing you say here indicates your parents intentionally let the cat outside.

Was the daughter too harsh in cutting off her parents’ unsupervised access to her children, or was it an understandable consequence of their failure to respect her? In the end, it’s clear that respect is essential whether you’re dealing with a cat or your children. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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