Mom Wants Boyfriend To Come Home Early To Help With Baby, Brother-In-Law Says She’s Stressing Them Out

Being a stay-at-home mom is no easy task, especially when you’re navigating the challenges of a 4-month-old who won’t bottle-feed and needing a moment to yourself.

This woman has been caring for her son all day while her boyfriend regularly spends his evenings unwinding at the sauna or having drinks with friends.

She’s asked him to come home earlier on some days to help her destress, but her boyfriend’s brother criticized her for wanting a break, implying her mental health should take a backseat to her child’s wellbeing.

Is she being unreasonable in asking her boyfriend to compromise, or is her request too much? Dive into this story to see whether she’s asking for too much or simply trying to find a balance in her demanding role as a new mom.

A woman asks her boyfriend to come home early some days to help with their baby, causing conflict

In this situation, the OP’s frustration isn’t a simple momentary annoyance, it’s tied to a well‑documented psychological reality: parenting a young infant around the clock can lead to significant parental stress and burnout, especially when support from a partner is inconsistent or absent.

Research on parental burnout shows that chronic stress related to caregiving, especially without adequate relief, can result in overwhelming exhaustion, emotional distancing, and a sense of ineffectiveness in the parenting role.

These outcomes are not hypothetical; they are recognized phenomena associated with sustained parenting demands without sufficient resources or breaks.

The OP is essentially describing a classic imbalance between parental demands and available support, which experts identify as a key cause of burnout. When one parent carries the majority of caregiving labor, the risk of stress becoming overwhelming increases.

In academic research, one study describes parental burnout as a condition involving intense exhaustion related to parenting, emotional distancing from children, and feelings of inefficacy, exactly the kinds of experiences that can emerge when caregiving feels relentless and unsupported.

There’s also solid evidence that partner involvement, or lack thereof, plays a measurable role in a parent’s mental health.

Research on father involvement and maternal stress finds that when fathers participate more in childcare, the mother’s burden decreases, and overall stress levels are lower.

This suggests that active involvement from both parents is not just a nicety but an important contributor to maternal well‑being, especially in early months when infant care is most demanding.

Beyond individual studies of burnout, broader public health observations confirm that parenting stress is widespread and significantly affects well‑being.

A recent advisory highlighted that parental stress is a serious health concern, not just an emotional inconvenience, and that support systems (including partner support) are crucial for parental mental health.

This advisory noted that nearly half of parents report feeling overwhelmed by stress most days, underlining how common and impactful these challenges are. (The Guardian)

What this body of research shows is that the OP’s need for her partner to come home early sometimes, so she can get a break, isn’t unreasonable or self‑centered.

It’s aligned with evidence‑based understanding of how parental stress accumulates when one caregiver carries heavy responsibilities without sufficient support.

A child’s well‑being and a parent’s mental health are linked: when a parent is burned out, research suggests that well‑being decreases significantly for both the parent and the family system. (Springer Link)

This doesn’t mean the boyfriend’s desire to destress after work is inherently wrong. All adults need time to decompress.

But relationships and co‑parenting function best when both partners share the emotional and physical demands of family life and when support is reciprocal rather than one‑sided.

Studies consistently show that dyadic support, where partners support each other emotionally and practically, is essential for balancing parenting stress and maintaining overall well‑being.

The comment from the boyfriend’s brother that the OP’s mental health “isn’t as important” or that her stress should be subsumed under the child’s needs or her partner’s relaxation reflects a dismissive attitude toward caregiver stress.

But psychological and public health research makes clear that parental well‑being matters not only for the parent but also for the child, the partner, and the family unit. It isn’t selfish to want occasional support; it’s part of how co‑parenting functions in a healthy partnership.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters strongly agree that the boyfriend is neglecting his parental responsibilities and should prioritize supporting the mother

These users believe the boyfriend’s behavior goes beyond just neglect

This group criticizes the boyfriend for his immaturity and selfishness, empathizing with the mother’s situation

How would you handle a partner who constantly prioritizes their own “me time” over helping with parenting responsibilities? Share your thoughts below!