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Twin Blames Sister For Ruining Date, Gets Called Out For Her Own Behavior

by Annie Nguyen
March 30, 2026
in Social Issues

Siblings can be wildly different, even when they look exactly the same. Growing up side by side does not guarantee shared values, and sometimes those differences become more obvious in adulthood, especially when it comes to relationships and how people see themselves.

In this story, one twin finds herself in an awkward situation after trying to do something considerate for her sister. What seemed like a simple attempt to step aside turns into a much bigger issue after one date goes completely off track.

Now, a single comment has sparked tension between them, leaving her wondering if she crossed a line.

One twin tried to play cupid, but dinner turned into disaster fast

Twin Blames Sister For Ruining Date, Gets Called Out For Her Own Behavior
not actual the photo

'AITA for telling my sister she could’ve dated the guy she liked had she not been such a misogynistic pick me?'

My (20F) sister Kim and I are identical twins. We were very different growing up and still are.

I hate to say this, but Kim is the definition of a pick-me girl, always spewing misogynistic nonsense on

how women are weak and should abide by men. How is she so short and petite that

she can’t do anything on her own without a big strong man around? How all the girls are trying too hard

by wearing makeup while she is pretty naturally, so they all hate her for it. You get the gist.

Kim and I attend the same college but study there in different departments. In one of my classes there is this guy named Dave.

Dave is your typical handsome frat boy that most girls in our college have a crush on, including Kim.

Over the summer I’ve started working in a small coffee shop near campus to earn some extra cash.

During that time Dave became a frequent customer there and was pretty friendly toward me since he recognized me from class.

After a while he admitted that he’s attracted to me and asked me out so we can get to know each other.

Knowing that Kim liked him, I decided to reject Dave and instead offered to set him up with her.

We are identical, so if he asked me out based on attraction, it really shouldn’t matter.

Dave agreed, and I gave him my sister's number. I knew they met up for a date during the weekend

but didn’t have the time to ask Kim how it went since I was sick. Today during my shift Dave approached me and asked

if I could return to Kim the lipgloss she left in his car since he knew the brand was expensive.

I asked him why he didn’t return it to her himself, and he said that he didn’t want to see her after how the date went.

I was confused, and so I asked him if the date was really that bad.

He explained that they went to a nice restaurant where my sister didn’t stop harassing and criticizing

the waitress for wearing too much makeup and looking "easy." After that fiasco was over, she proceeded to say some stuff

that I can only imagine are usually said in an Andrew Tate podcast. Dave, who was apparently raised

by a single mother and has 5 sisters, was horrified, so he excused himself to the bathroom, paid for their meal,

lent Kim some cash for an Uber, and left her at the restaurant alone. I was embarrassed for Kim but totally understood

why Dave walked out on her, so I apologized on her behalf and took the lip gloss with me.

I returned it to her 2 hours ago, and she didn’t stop complaining about how awful Dave was, how he wasn’t a real man

since real men usually like when she brings up how women are inferior to them. At some point I just cut her off

and told her that she had a chance of a nice date with a guy she liked but ruined it all

because she couldn’t stop being a misogynistic pick-me even for one second.

I’m now back at my apartment, and Kim hasn’t stopped texting me, demanding I apologize, but I don’t feel like it. AITA?

Update: I would like to start this off by saying that although I don’t agree with or excuse Kim’s actions,

I do understand that they come from a place of insecurity. And although I knew her obsession over male validation

was not normal, I didn’t understand the severity of it until now. I’ve talked with our parents, and they both agreed

based on what I told them that we’ll try to convince Kim to attend therapy after the holidays.

I’m not sure she’ll agree, but it’s worth a shot. I ended up getting Dave’s phone number from a classmate of ours.

I’ve sent him a text apologizing again for what went on and thanked him for still paying for my sister's meal and

making sure she had a way to get home safely. We talked a bit more; one thing led to another,

and we agreed to meet up for lunch next week after class. I don’t know if I should consider this a date or not since

we didn’t label it as such, but I think I’ll just meet him there and see how it goes.

I told Kim about it, and to say she was pissed would be an understatement; she called me a horrible sister for agreeing

to meet a guy who publicly humiliated her by leaving her alone at the restaurant.

I retaliated by reminding her that she was the one who embarrassed him first by causing a scene in public.

She was also the one who said that he’s not manly enough for her and lost all interest, so she can’t say she has a claim to him.

After calming her down she agreed with me and said that a female like her deserves a manlier alpha male

(yes, I know this sounds super cringy). I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just laughed and wished her good luck with that.

I think she’s still a bit salty over this and her ego is definitely bruised, but at least I know she’s completely over Dave.

I want to thank everyone for your support and for the awards. I don’t think I’ll post another update here,

but if anything interesting happens next week with Dave, I’ll make sure to update on my page.

Btw, this is my first time posting here, and I have to say that it feels so surreal to open TikTok

and see my post voiced by AI with Subway Surfers gameplay in the background.

In today’s world, conversations around gender equality are more visible than ever, yet subtle forms of bias still linger beneath the surface sometimes even within the very groups they affect. One of the most complex and often overlooked phenomena is internalized sexism, a concept explored in depth by the SAGE Encyclopedia of Psychology and Gender.

At its core, internalized sexism refers to the process by which women absorb and adopt harmful societal beliefs about their own gender. These beliefs can manifest in various ways, from self-doubt and limiting one’s own ambitions to openly criticizing or distancing oneself from other women.

Rather than recognizing these attitudes as socially conditioned, individuals may see them as “truths,” reinforcing stereotypes that women are weaker, less capable, or overly emotional.

According to the SAGE Encyclopedia of Psychology and Gender, this internalization doesn’t happen overnight. It is often shaped by years of exposure to cultural messages through media, family dynamics, education, and social expectations.

Over time, these repeated messages can influence how women perceive both themselves and others, sometimes leading them to unconsciously perpetuate the very biases that disadvantage them.

One of the most striking aspects of internalized sexism is how it affects interpersonal relationships. Instead of fostering solidarity, it can create competition, judgment, and division.

For example, a woman might criticize another for her appearance, behavior, or choices in an attempt to align herself with what she believes is more socially acceptable. In doing so, she may gain temporary validation but ultimately reinforces a system that limits everyone involved.

Psychologically, this behavior is often linked to a desire for acceptance and belonging. When societal structures reward certain traits such as submissiveness or adherence to traditional gender roles individuals may adopt these traits to gain approval.

However, this can come at the cost of authenticity and self-esteem. Over time, constantly measuring oneself against restrictive standards can lead to stress, anxiety, and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Importantly, internalized sexism doesn’t just impact individuals it also has broader social consequences. By perpetuating stereotypes and discouraging mutual support, it slows progress toward gender equality. It creates an environment where harmful norms are maintained not only by external forces but also from within the community itself.

Recognizing internalized sexism is the first step toward addressing it. As highlighted by the SAGE Encyclopedia of Psychology and Gender, becoming aware of these patterns allows individuals to challenge ingrained beliefs and replace them with more empowering perspectives.

Encouraging open conversations, promoting diverse representations of women, and fostering environments that value collaboration over competition are all essential in breaking this cycle.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

This group backed her and encouraged her to give Dave a chance

smolsulk − NTA, good on Dave. Maybe you should give him a shot? Lol

Cool-Apricot1916 − NTA I say hit up Dave to see if he would want to give it a shot with you; he did ask you out first.

This group said Dave was treated unfairly and deserved better

DarkAthena − NTA. You owe her no apology, but you do owe Dave one. He liked you and your personality.

Instead, you set him up with a nightmare. You also denied yourself a date with a nice guy

that you should have accepted (unless you didn't like him). You owe your sister nothing.

DracoPaladin − INFO: Why do you hate Dave so much? What did he do to you that you would inflict your sister on him.

This group supported her and called out the sister’s toxic views

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your sister is allowed to have outdated and toxic beliefs, but she needs to realize in the year of our lady

Dolly Parton, 2022, a lot of people aren’t going to agree with those things. You told her the truth;

you can’t control how she responds to the truth. I personally wouldn’t apologize, but this is your life and she’s your twin.

If you decide to keep peace and work out an apology, then that’s your choice.

But I am a pretty big believer in calling out stupidity and bigotry when possible and wouldn’t back down.

I kinda hope this knocks her down a few pegs and brings her into the real world for your sake and hers

Holmes221bBSt − NTA. I mean where were you wrong?

Her disgusting attitude towards women was the direct cause for Dave’s lack of attraction to her.

Either she changes her views or she can move to an area with fundamentalists/extremists like her & find her “big strong man” there.

Dave has every right to be disgusted by her

This group questioned her choice to set Dave up with her sister

ut_si − NTA but for a side note, why did you set them up?  Yes, he was attracted to you,

but that doesn't mean his attraction was only physical. If I were Dave, I would have been a little put off.

I understand your sister thought he was cute, but he asked YOU out, not a copy of you.

snarkisms − NTA but the part of this post that bothers me the most is that you set up a guy

who asked you out with your identical twin sister. Do you often give things up to her? Is this a pattern?

Because this is so incredibly unhealthy.

This group analyzed both sides and pointed to deeper issues

UndeadWarlock2022 − NTA but I will say this: you both seem to be quite judgmental.

You assumed Dave was a typical frat boy douchebag based on his looks, and it actually sounds like he's a sweet guy

who's been brought up around women and is respectful. She's also a judgmental AH for obvious reasons.

But she is who she is, and you are who you are.

You seem to have the presence of mind to reflect on your opinions; she may not.

What will happen is she'll find her 'big, strong manly man,' and he'll probably treat her like garbage.

You will be the one to be in a healthy relationship with someone respectful and caring. That's on her.

But I feel sorry for Dave being passed on to your sister because you assumed he was someone he wasn't.

dublos − NTA Your sister needs to wake up and recognize that she's not inferior to anyone because of her gender.

This group criticized the sister as exhausting and problematic

imothro − NTA. Your sister sounds awful. She needed a good dose of reality.

I think you are at a point where you may want to start distancing yourself from her.

She's going to develop a really n__ty reputation and you don't want to be in that glow.

cinderparty − NTA. Your sister sounds exhausting.

This group reacted with humor and sarcasm about the situation

Rini1031 − There is always the Conservative dating app. I hear they desperately need women to join it

descentbecomesafall − I think I'd probably have to do some dramatic haircut/dye job combo

so I couldn't be mistaken for her if it was me. Jeez. NTA.

This group agreed she was not wrong and justified her reaction

[Reddit User] − NTA Yeah, I don’t know why you even thought you were in the wrong. I would’ve walked out on her too

In the end, this wasn’t just about a bad date; it was about identity, boundaries, and the kind of honesty that can either heal or hurt. While many sympathized with the twin who spoke up, others wondered if there was a gentler way to deliver the same message.

Do you think calling her out so directly was justified, or did it cross into unnecessary harshness? And more importantly, would you have set your sibling up with someone who asked you out first? Sounds like a recipe for drama either way. Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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