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Dad Plays “Bonding Game” By Hiding Laptop, Then Calls Kid Terrible For Not Asking Him

by Annie Nguyen
March 30, 2026
in Social Issues

For many people, adulthood means making difficult choices about where responsibility begins and where it ends. Cultural expectations, family pressure, and personal boundaries do not always align, and when they clash, the outcome can be complicated.

Here, a woman who has carefully planned her life is confronted with a situation she never agreed to. What seemed like a straightforward decision soon spirals into a heated family dispute.

As tensions rise and opinions come from every direction, she starts questioning whether she handled things the right way.

A student wakes up to find their school laptop missing and everything unravels from there

Dad Plays “Bonding Game” By Hiding Laptop, Then Calls Kid Terrible For Not Asking Him
not actual the photo

'AITA for not asking my dad for something of mine when he purposefully hid it to bond with me?'

My dad hid my laptop one night from my nightstand while it was charging while I was sleeping.

I knew I left it there charging the night before, so when I woke up, I was very surprised/upset it was gone.

I knew it had to be somewhere in my house, but if I couldn't find it, I'd be missing school (Since my school is 100% online)

I asked my little brother if he knew where it was and if he mixed his laptop up with mine

(since they're issued school laptops, we have the same exact models), and he did indeed have his laptop and not mine.

We spent about an hour looking for the laptop but gave up. I called my mom and asked her

if she knew where my laptop was while she was at work, since for some reason

my laptop ended up in her bag one day before. She looked in her bag and said that no, it wasn't there.

I didn't ever think to ask my dad because there'd be no reason for him to have it. We'd never had a mix-up with

it before involving him, and he never goes into my room and messes with my stuff/takes things that are mine.

So, I didn't ask my dad, and I missed all my classes that day. When my mom got home, I told her I missed all my classes

because I couldn't find my laptop. The FIRST thing she asked was if I asked my dad to help me look for it (which made me

think that she was in on it too),, and of course, I said no. She then called my dad out from his office and asked me

to explain why I missed all my classes to him. I did, and He said he hid it in his office. His plan was for me to ask him where...

he'd pretend like he didn't know, and after looking for it for a while, he'd "coincidentally"

find it in his office and pretend like I must have put it there somehow.

He twisted this and made it seem like I WAS THE A__HOLE for never asking him, and I'm a terrible child

because I never talk to him/ask him for things. That I was stupid for asking everyone else in the house but him,

and he made it seem like that was a purposeful, targeting thing. His defense was that I ask him all the time

if he's seen my phone or headphones somewhere, and I should have asked if he'd seen my laptop anywhere.

But that's not the same thing. In those cases, I'd leave my phone/headphones in random places and forget

where I put them unconsciously, but in this case I was 100% confident that someone took it from my nightstand

and put it somewhere else, and in my mind I was 100% confident it would not be him. Am I wrong for not asking him?

Some Edits: People told me to include this here in the original post. My dad wasn't home between 8 and 12:30.

My school starts at 9am and ends at 1pm. So by the time he got home, my school day was already over.

Another thing to add Thank you for the overwhelming support.

I thought only like 4 people would see this and maybe one person would comment lol.

It's crazy to believe this many of you care about my situation. If there are any updates, I'll be sure to make a re: about it

In relationships, connection isn’t built through grand gestures or carefully staged moments; it grows through small, consistent interactions. According to The Gottman Institute, these everyday interactions are known as “bids for connection.” They can be as simple as asking a question, sharing a thought, or seeking attention. What truly matters is how the other person responds.

When someone “turns toward” these bids by listening, engaging, or showing interest, it strengthens trust and emotional closeness. Over time, these small moments accumulate, forming the foundation of a healthy relationship.

On the other hand, consistently ignoring or mishandling these bids can lead to emotional distance. When people feel dismissed or unheard, they may eventually stop reaching out altogether, creating a silent gap that’s difficult to repair.

This idea becomes especially important in family dynamics. Parents who want to bond with their children often assume they need to create meaningful or memorable experiences. However, research suggests that connection is less about planning and more about presence. Simply being available, responsive, and respectful in everyday situations can have a far greater impact than any forced interaction.

At the same time, not all attempts at connection are perceived as positive. When actions create confusion, stress, or self-doubt, they may have the opposite effect. This is where the concept of emotional manipulation comes into play.

As explained by Psychology Today, gaslighting is a behavior that causes someone to question their own perception, memory, or reality. It often involves denial, blame-shifting, or minimizing another person’s experience.

In many cases, gaslighting doesn’t appear as extreme or obvious. It can show up subtly through statements like “you’re overreacting” or “that never happened.” Over time, this pattern can erode a person’s confidence in their own judgment.

They may begin to second-guess themselves, feel anxious, or rely more heavily on the other person for validation. What makes this dynamic particularly damaging is the imbalance it creates.

One person becomes the “authority” on what is real, while the other is left feeling uncertain. According to experts, this isn’t always intentional; sometimes it stems from poor communication skills, insecurity, or an inability to handle conflict. Still, the impact remains significant.

Ultimately, healthy relationships rely on clarity, respect, and mutual understanding. Genuine connection cannot be forced or engineered; it must be built through honest communication and consistent emotional support. When people feel safe, heard, and validated, connection happens naturally.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

This group called the dad abusive and accused him of gaslighting

QuixoticLogophile − NTA If your father wants to bond with you, he should just spend some time with you,

not manufacture bizarre scenarios where he ends up the hero and you're eternally grateful to him.

Also, he's gaslighting you, twisting the whole thing to be your fault. You're not at fault in any way, and your father needs a therapist.

serenityrabbit − NTA what he did is honestly abusive, and he's gaslighting you.

I hope you can get help from a school counselor or something. If he's wanting to be closer to you,

he's going to achieve the opposite effect, although he probably cares more about his power trip, to be honest.

ConsistentCheesecake − NTA. Something is deeply wrong with your father. He deliberately made you miss school!

What does your mom think? Does she think this is all your fault, or does she realize how sick and abusive his behavior is?

This group stressed he caused real harm by making her miss school

HotAudience6110 − NTA Your parents don’t sound reasonable.

Please email your teachers to let them know why you missed classes (because your dad took your laptop and hid it).

Also reach out to a guidance counselor at school... While this incident alone may seem trivial,

I have a feeling over time you will be dealing with other consequences of their attitude if you aren’t already.

You also might already be dealing with things you aren’t aware of. Your parents aren’t wrong for wanting you to bond

more with your dad, but they have gone about this completely the wrong way. The fact that they both were in on this

and allowed you to miss a full day of classes for their weird experiment is irresponsible and hurtful.

I have to imagine you were stressed out and losing your mind looking for it. I say this as a concerned parent of 3.

archmageofcoffee − NTA. You need to make him explain to your teachers why you had to miss class.

He took it knowing you had school online. This was a major AH move on his part.

charliewriter − Nta your dad made you miss a day of school and tried to blame you for his own actions. He was acting childish.

This group said his “bonding” idea was immature and made no sense

SnootyMcFrooty − NTA. Sorry, OP, but this was a very immature stunt your dad pulled. Wanting to bond with your child

and have a deeper connection is a good thing, but making you miss your classes kinda defeats the purpose.

Did your gut feeling turn out to be right? Was your mom in on it?

Squinky75 − NTA. Your father sounds nuts. If he wants to bond, he could just take you out to lunch or something.

I'm a terrible child because I never talk to him/ask him for things.

Fireneji − NTA. For goodness sake, just take your kids to the park or something if you want to bond. What he did is just weird.

This group mocked the plan as pointless and not real bonding

CODE_NAME_DUCKY − Nta Your dad is a huge a__hole for thinking this was such a great idea to get you to bond with him.

He caused you to miss all your classes because he couldn't come up with an actual bonding activity.

Looking for lost things isn't bonding. You ask the person, and they go look in one room. And you are in the other room.

Once it's found, you both go on your merry way. So how is that bonding? You're not spending quality time together.

I hope you email your teachers and let them know what happened.

Think you might want to lock your room at night or when you're not at home. So your dad doesn't try to "bond" with you again.

whitewer − Nta, you want to bond with your kid? Do activities; don't hide a school laptop that was in their room

after you snuck in, hid, and decided you'd want to play hero by magically finding it. That isn't bonding;

that will just cause issues for your child, making them doubt themselves and if they can really trust what they remember

Eladiun − NTA - This is weird. I'm going to steal from you in a way you would never expect to bond,

but I'm not going to realize when you haven't asked by the time school has started that my plan failed.

This group harshly insulted the dad’s behavior as ridiculous

FantasticElastic7 − NTA. Your dad is a p__ck.

geranium27 − NTA and your dad sounds immature and really weird.

This commenter shared a personal story and criticized similar parenting behavior

serenityxfelice − Omg this “bonding technique” reminds me of my dad, with whom I had a horrible connection

because all he did was yell and abuse me; he would come to my room and just stare at me,

usually when I was doing something on the computer. No "How are you?" or "What are you doing?"

so I would go somewhere along the lines of “What?" Or "What do you need?"

and he would go apeshit that he just wanted to talk (or talk?). I feel sometimes there are these distant parents

that can’t just talk normally to the child for whatever reason. On his side it was a stupid idea anyway;

even if you called him, he would say something like, “Ah yes, you left it in my office,"

and you would say something along the lines of, "No, it was charging, and you took it.

Also, my classes start now and you are in the office. How am I meant to participate now?"

Hide some of his s__t next time and see how boned you will be after he spends half his morning looking for keys

because he can't get to work and then yell at him for not asking you. Definitely NTA

What was meant to be a bonding moment turned into a trust-breaking misfire, and the internet definitely had thoughts about it. While many sympathized with the parent’s desire to connect, most agreed that the method missed the mark in a big way.

After all, connection isn’t something you can stage like a magic trick; it has to be built, moment by moment.

So what do you think? Was this just a badly executed attempt at bonding, or did it cross a line into something more harmful? And if you were in that situation, would you have reacted any differently? Share your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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