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Insecure Mom Fights With Sister Over A Traditional Guessing Game At Baby Shower

by Jeffrey Stone
April 15, 2026
in Social Issues

A pregnant woman stood frozen as her sister unveiled a measuring game that turned the spotlight on her changing belly in front of family and friends. Already fighting lifelong battles with an eating disorder, she choked back tears while guests guessed her size, feeling exposed and mortified during what should have been a joyful day. She stayed silent afterward to protect her energy for her newborn son.

Years later, when her sister announced plans for another shower and mentioned repeating the same activity, the woman kindly suggested skipping it to spare the expectant mother similar discomfort. Her sister exploded in anger, accusing her of holding onto old resentment and forcing personal insecurities onto others.

A woman advised her sister to skip a common but potentially triggering baby shower game due to past personal hurt.

Insecure Mom Fights With Sister Over A Traditional Guessing Game At Baby Shower
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for discouraging my sister from repeating her weird cruel baby shower game?'

A few years ago when I (27F) was pregnant my SIL offered to throw my shower.

She said my sister “Kate” (31F) was organizing the games. Kate doesn’t have or want kids but she loves babies and loves doing party stuff so I trusted her entirely.

Shortly into the shower, Kate gave everyone a slip of paper and a pen and broke out a tape measure.

She said the game was going to be guessing how big around I was. Which seems like a weird game to begin with,

but as Kate knows I’ve struggled with an eating disorder my whole life. In a year my weight can swing 50 pounds, plus I’d gained 45 during pregnancy.

Yet for some bizarre reason Kate thought making my 8-months pregnant waistline the center of attention would be “fun”.

I was mortified and fighting back tears for the sake of not ruining the party for everyone.

I was mortified. If my bestie hadn’t understood what was happening and run right to my side, I’m sure I would have lost it.

I was so hurt. I feel like even for a mother-to-be with perfect body image, this would be a disturbing “game”.

I was choking back tears but skate seemed oblivious to that. I decided not to say anything to her about it after the shower or afterwards.

I was saving my energy for my son and it was over so why bother.

Yesterday Kate told me she’s organizing a shower for a family friend, so I (nicely, I thought) suggested she skip that “game”.

She was dumbfounded so I explained (again, rather nicely) how I hurt I had been by it, and maybe to skip that game in the future.

You never know how an expectant mother is feeling about the changes in their body.

She blew up that I was wrong to “harbor this rage” at her for all these years, that I was “projecting my insecurities” onto our friend,

and she even suggested I was ungrateful for her helping at my shower. Then she hung up on me.

Am I really TA here? I was just trying to spare our friend the hurt that I felt.

I really feel like the whole game is a weird and uncomfortable for everyone there, eating disorder aside. Was I wrong to discourage her from doing it again?

ETA: to clarify, there was nothing medical about this “game.” That’s not even how doctors/midwives measure you.

And I couldn’t have said anything beforehand, I was literally on stage in front of our entire family and all our friends when Kate dropped it on me.

I’ve never even heard of this before or after, so it’s not a local custom.

And not that it matters but I didn’t feel “fat,” I had fought hard for every single pound on me.

I spent my whole life trying to make my rather severe malnutrition NOT be the topic of conversation.

It shouldn’t matter if I felt I was too fat or too skinny: there was a emotionally intense medical reason and Kate knows that.

The sister organized games for the Redditor’s baby shower years ago, including one where guests guessed and measured the pregnant belly’s size using slips of paper and a tape measure.

While many commenters noted that variations of this “How Big Is Mommy’s Belly” game appear at showers across regions, it landed poorly for the Redditor due to her long-term struggle with an eating disorder. She felt mortified and fought back tears in front of family and friends, yet chose not to address it immediately to focus on her new baby.

When she later advised skipping the game for a family friend’s shower, her sister reacted strongly, calling it harbored rage and ungratefulness.

From one angle, the game seems like harmless fun rooted in tradition. Several Reddit voices described playing it at multiple showers without issue, viewing it as a classic icebreaker. The sister likely saw it the same way: a celebratory activity centered on the exciting pregnancy, not body scrutiny. She may have felt blindsided by the delayed feedback, interpreting the suggestion as unsolicited criticism of her past efforts rather than thoughtful concern for another mom.

Yet the opposing perspective highlights real emotional stakes. For anyone with a history of body image challenges, spotlighting physical measurements during a vulnerable time can reopen old wounds. The Redditor clarified the game had no medical basis and came as a surprise while she was “on stage.”

Even without an eating disorder, many women experience heightened sensitivity to body comments amid pregnancy changes. Her intent was protective, not to attack her sister’s planning.

This situation broadens easily into larger family dynamics around communication and sensitivity. Research shows that body image concerns are common during pregnancy. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, about 40% of women report concerns about their weight during pregnancy, and roughly 5% experience an eating disorder while pregnant.

Past eating disorders can heighten risks, with pregnancy sometimes triggering relapse or intensified dissatisfaction.

Claire Mysko, a body image expert, has noted in public conversations that family and friends play a key role in setting boundaries around sensitive topics like body changes, emphasizing supportive environments to avoid unintentional triggers.

Neutral advice here leans toward open, timely conversations. Addressing discomfort soon after an event (rather than years later) can prevent buildup, while planners might check preferences with the honoree ahead of time for games involving measurements or guesses.

Families benefit from recognizing that what feels fun for one person can feel exposing for another. Solutions start with opting for alternative games focused on baby predictions, gifts, or non-body elements, and fostering empathy by listening without defensiveness when feedback arises.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Some users view the game as normal and common but acknowledge the sister’s lack of sensitivity given the OP’s body image issues.

VonShtupp − NAH - this is actually a relatively normal baby shower game.

It may be regional, but you can even find pre-made measuring tape/string on Amazon.

I’m sorry that it triggered your body issues and I wish your sister took your feelings I to consideration over

THIS particular game for YOU. But not all mothers would be triggered.

ColdSeason2019 − This is a normal game but given the context of your body image problems it was a bad choose on your sister’s part.

I’ll go with NTA. Your sister blowing up on you made her the AH.

Pepper-90210 − NTA. It’s a fairly common game so I don’t think Kate was trying to be mean,

but she should have heard you out when you brought up some excellent points about this game.

Some people consider the game insensitive or rude regardless of its commonality, and place primary blame on the sister.

0Jinxy − NTA. Kate is the a__hole. What a weird, insensitive game for anyone.

It seems as if she is passively trying to hurt people, and then play the victim. Very toxic.

TemptingPenguin369 − NTA. I know this is a common shower game in some places, but I think unless the woman suggests it for her own shower,

anything involving people guessing weights and measurements should be confined to the number of jellybeans in a jar and things like that.

Others emphasize that the game is very common at baby showers while expressing sympathy for the OP’s trigger and suggesting better communication.

weirdcrabdog − NTA, but variations of this game are played in pretty much every single baby shower.

I think what games to play should be discussed with the pregnant person ahead of time, precisely to avoid triggers.

katsmeow44 − NAH. I'm sorry you were triggered and I wish your sister had been more sensitive to your feelings.

But I also wish you had said something to her about it sooner. It is a fairly common shower game,

and while you meant well, your advice about her party planning seems to have been unsolicited,

and not necessarily timely, so I can't fault her for having her feelings hurt, either, especially if you pushed the point.

PutTheKettleOn20 − NAH. I've played this game at every baby shower I've been to, or a variation on it.

Having suffered from eating disorders myself I can definitely see why it affected you,

but I'm also acutely aware that those around us, even those closest to us who know our pasts, often won't realise things that might affect us,

thinking of it as a past issue whereas it is something that stays with us forever even if under control.

Your sister didn't mean to be cruel, she just didn't think of a pregnancy belly as anything related to an eating disorder.

A few users note the commonality of the game but criticize how the sister reacted to the OP bringing up the issue later.

ChaosCron1 − Oof. So I'm going to say NTA. It's awful that you went through that... But I would've brought up the incident immediately.

Your sister didn't handle hearing the news that her sister harbored hard feelings for so long very well at all.

Doesn't make her a saint she shouldn't have blown up on your like that, especially since I think that the game is pretty rude too. But idk. That's really tough.

sesi2 − It's so interesting to hear from people around the world (presumably) on issues like this.

I can honestly say that I have played this game at no fewer than a dozen different showers - including my own - and it never once occurred to me

that it would be taken as anything other than fun...and I gained 80 lbs.

with my first child so if anyone had a reason to feel body conscious, it would have been me

I actually just played the toilet paper version at my niece's shower three weekends ago.

This post has given me so much to think about, and especially to consider if I'm ever again tasked with helping plan a shower...

NAH, but Reddit is out here expanding my worldview! ETA, since I'm seeing questions about where this is a popular game:

I'm in Southern California, but I've played it at a shower on the East Coast of the US as well.

In the end, the Redditor’s gentle discouragement stemmed from a desire to protect another mom from the discomfort she once felt. Do you think her suggestion was fair given her personal history, or did the delayed timing make it land poorly? How would you handle balancing sibling support with party planning in a similar spot? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 3/3 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/3 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/3 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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