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Woman Discovers Her Mother Still Trusted Her Abuser’s Family After Years of Pain

by Leona Pham
July 28, 2026
in Social Issues

Some wounds are caused by the original trauma, but others come from the people who were supposed to protect us afterward.

When trust is broken by someone close to us, rebuilding that relationship can feel almost impossible.

One woman shared a painful story about something that happened when she was only 16 years old.

After surviving a traumatic experience involving someone close to her relationship, she expected support from her family.

Instead, the person she needed most chose to protect their own interests and refused to believe her.

Years later, after building a life with the person who stood by her, she was forced to confront the same painful betrayal all over again.

Now, she is trying to decide whether love for a parent is enough to overcome years of hurt.

Scroll down to see why she is struggling with forgiveness.

Woman struggles with whether to forgive her mother after discovering a devastating betrayal involving her past assault

Woman Discovers Her Mother Still Trusted Her Abuser’s Family After Years of Pain
not the actual photo

'Cut off my mother because she allowed the guy who SA'ed me to visit my daughter. 10 years later she wants to fix our relationship and get to know her...

13 years ago I was SA’ed by my boyfriend's(now husband) ex best

friend(we’ll call him J) when I was 16. My mother never liked my husband

ever since we started dating back when we were 13. She always wanted me

to be with J because J came from a “good family”. So when J assaulted me

she didn’t believe me despite all the evidence that he assaulted me. J mom

was also my moms boss so I think that might have had a huge part in her

not believing me.

So while I was waiting for trial I moved in with my boyfriend and his

parents. During this time I found out I was pregnant and I knew it wasn’t

my boyfriend’s because we were never intimate and I was never with

anyone like that before hand. J ended up taking a plea deal got no jail time

in exchange for him never having any right to see my daughter. When my

daughter was born my mother asked me to move back home and said sorry

for everything and she did.

A year after my daughter was born I went to college a few hours away and

my mom retired early to watch her while I went to college. During the

week I stayed on campus so I didn’t have to drive back and forth and on the

weekends I came home and I also called every night to make sure my

daughter was okay.

My second year of college me and my boyfriend eloped and my mom did

not like that one bit even though we’ve been together for 6 years at that

point and he takes care of my daughter like she’s his and still does to this

day. So one day we had a big snowstorm and my Thursday and Friday

classes were cancelled. So I went home early without telling my mom and

guess who was in the kitchen when I walked in J’s mom, my mom and J. J

was also holding my daughter when I walked in. They were surprised to say

the least and I started flipping out naturally and grabbed my daughter and

packed a bag with her stuff. My mother and J’s mother were pleading with

me to not leave while I was packing. When I went to leave my mom was

crying now begging me to forgive her. I said I would never forgive her and

went to walk out. On my way out J grabbed my arm and said I should be

nicer to my mother. My mother called me hundreds of times but I never answered her.

I left got an apartment with my husband and daughter. Got a babysitter for

when I was in class. A week after this incident my mother put over 100k in

my bank account to buy me over or get me to talk to her. I really don't know.

My younger sister just got married and my mother was at the wedding and

I had to be civil to her. She asked about my daughter and son and current

pregnancy. She told me how she wanted to fix things with me and see her

grandkids before she eventually dies and how she’s always believed me

about the a__ault. She just didn’t want to be fired. I asked her if she still

hangs out with J’s mother. She said sometimes but mostly at church I left

the conversation at that.

She’s my mother. I love her. I miss her; she raised me and my sister all by

herself( well with the help of a few Nannie’s to) but I don’t know if I will

ever be able to completely forgive her. I haven’t decided what I’m going to

do yet.. Long story sorry about that, I just wanted to vent about the current

crap in my life.

Some wounds are difficult to heal because the person who caused the deepest pain was not the person who committed the original harm.

Betrayal from a stranger can be devastating, but betrayal from someone who was supposed to protect you can change the way you understand love, trust, and family.

The OP’s pain is not only connected to the assault she survived.

It is connected to the years of feeling abandoned by the person whose support she needed most.

At sixteen, she experienced a traumatic event, then faced the additional pain of not being believed by her own mother.

The later discovery that her mother allowed contact between her daughter and the family of the person who harmed her reopened that wound in a profound way.

The issue was never simply whether her mother made one mistake.

It was that the OP felt her safety and her child’s safety were sacrificed because of someone else’s influence and social standing.

A different perspective is that the mother may have been trapped by fear, pressure, and dependence on J’s mother professionally.

Her explanation suggests she prioritized avoiding consequences for herself rather than intentionally hurting her daughter.

Human beings sometimes make decisions based on fear, especially when power dynamics are involved.

However, understanding why someone failed does not erase the impact of that failure.

A parent can be a loving figure in many parts of life and still cause a devastating betrayal in one of the moments when their child needed them most.

This explains why the OP’s struggle with forgiveness is so complicated.

She is not deciding whether her mother was perfect.

She is deciding whether she can trust someone who failed her during one of the most vulnerable moments of her life.

The $100,000 may have been an attempt to repair the damage, but money cannot replace the feeling of being protected and believed.

The OP can love her mother and still maintain distance.

Forgiveness, if it ever happens, does not have to mean forgetting, minimizing, or allowing the same people back into the same roles.

Rebuilding a relationship would require more than apologies; it would require accountability, consistent actions, and a willingness from her mother to fully acknowledge the harm caused.

Family bonds can be powerful, but they do not erase the need for safety and respect.

Sometimes the hardest decision is accepting that loving someone does not always mean giving them unlimited access to your life.

Check out how the community responded:

These commenters supported cutting contact and prioritizing the child’s safety over family ties

killerbee9100 − Your mother put your daughter into your rapists arms and

you're wondering if you should still have contact with her. Just wow. Your

poor kid. Keep teaching her that her bodily autonomy is less important

than a man's feelings. I'm sure that will work out well.

Bankaixx55 − Give the money back and dont look back

These commenters questioned the story’s credibility and pointed out possible inconsistencies

maxdaddy1979 − Um, how does someone get off with no jail time for SA a

MINOR and impregnating them? What is the age difference between OP

and J? Something sounds off with this story. And Mom had 100k to just

give to OP and was worried about her boss? I’m sorry, but something

seems fishy with this.

And to just leave the kid with Mom who said she didn’t believe her? WTAF

anniemanic − Is this a bot? I’ve seen this exact story before

veastt − Ignoring the s__ual a__ault, this sounds really fake. boyfriend

waited from 13 to 22 before they finally eloped, and somehow the mom

just drops 100k into her bank account like it's nothing? Also why mention

that j grabbed your arm? Was it meant to add something to the mix of

finding out that he has secretly being seeing the daughter.

And then a younger sisters wedding appears at the end, wouldn't she have

said something j visiting? Not gonna lie it really had me going, but the

whole waiting all thay time is what killed it

These users expressed strong reactions to the family dynamics and the difficult moral choices involved

Deadwolf83 − Rich white people are weird.

MIW100 − You had your rapist baby and thought everything was going to

turn out great? This story is so ridiculous you have to be trolling.

CloudMelodic4586 − Even though the child came from a trauma, it’s still his

daughter! He didn’t harm the child so I don’t see the problem. I think your

mother was pressured into that decision by J’s mom. Your mom believes in

forgiveness and so should you!

The situation reflects the complicated reality of trying to heal from a deep betrayal, especially when the person who caused the most pain is also someone you love.

The OP’s mother may have reasons for her choices, but protecting a relationship or job cannot erase the damage caused by failing to support her own child during a traumatic moment.

Do you think rebuilding the relationship is possible if genuine accountability is shown, or are some betrayals too painful to move past completely?

How would you balance forgiveness with protecting yourself and your family? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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