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Employee Signs Up to Mentor Teenagers, Then Realizes One Background Check Could Expose His Past

by Layla Bui
August 29, 2026
in Social Issues

Turning your life around after a troubled past can take years of hard work, and sometimes one innocent mistake can make all that progress feel dangerously fragile. It is even more frightening when the mistake involves a workplace process that could bring something you thought was firmly behind you back into the spotlight.

The OP has spent nearly 15 years staying out of serious trouble, building a family, serving in the military, and developing a successful career.

After more than a year at a company he genuinely loves, his strong performance led to an opportunity to become a mentor. He signed up assuming the program was intended for junior employees, only to discover that it involves teenagers and therefore requires a much more extensive background check.

The OP knows that his troubled teenage years could appear on that check, and he is terrified of losing the trust and career he has worked so hard to build. Now he is struggling to find a way out of the course without revealing why. Scroll down to see what advice he received.

A high-performing employee fears a mentoring course may expose a serious teenage past

Employee Signs Up to Mentor Teenagers, Then Realizes One Background Check Could Expose His Past
not the actual photo

'Great at my job, mistakenly signed up for a course which will get me fired'

I've mistakenly signed up for a course at work needing a background check I know I'll fail. Sorry for length but I really need advice:

So for some background I had a troubled few years as a teenager ending up in a few terrible police charges.

Serious assaults with bad injuries involved and the like. I joined the military, turned my life around and got into consulting and business years later.

I've not been in trouble bar a speeding ticket for just under 15 years. I also left school very young and this was just a horrible period in my life.

I regret so much of it I can't begin to describe it.

Fast forwardvto today and I'm a family man, I've been with my current company for between a year and a year and a half.

Doing very well, great company, world renowned as being industry leaders in their field.

I'm learning every day, it's fun, exciting and I've been told my potential is excellent.

Promotion to management this year, skies the limit, real help with career planning etc. I actually love my job.

I was asked to be a mentor and signed up to the course. Because most people on the mentor side are relatively senior,

my boss had to vouch for me to get a place, which there was no problem with because of my good conduct and excellent performance this year.

Anyway so I find out it's not for new junior starts but teenagers doing internships and transitioning into the role over a number of years.

Due to this it requires an enhanced background check over and above the basic one you do when you get onboarded.

I did not lie during onboarding and disclosed everything I needed to legally. No problems.

But if this enhanced check comes back with my past I am simply fucked to put it lightly.

The trust I've gained will be gone and everything I've worked for all these years will evaporate. I'll probably be fired.

Even if I am not, HR will likely just say I can't do the course and it'll leave everyone thinking I'm some kind of pervert or something.

Now, when I realised this I tried to back out of the scheme.

I spoke with my manager and gave a generic "I didn't quite realise the time commitment required and I'm just not sure I can pick this up right now."

Type speech. However, my manager being the greatest manager ever; was very supportive and took the approach of "

don't worry this will be good for your career we will make it work, find out the time they need and I'll make sure you have it free."

So I did find out and I tried to frame it like it was a big requirement / commitment. Thing is this ' I'm to busy' excuse is bad for...

1. I've spent the last 18 months taking on as much as possible to prove I can handle any workload which I can so far. So this doesn't seem believable...

2. It means they may reconsider my promotion if I really push it.. 'if he's too busy for this how can he pick up this extra scope?'

I tried to voice my time commitment concern today in a last ditch attempt to get out of the course,

but my manager brushed it off explaining they'll support me and we can make it work.

I can't come up with a new excuse now that doesn't seem like I'm just making stuff up to get out of it, which will lead to them asking why.

I don't think I can come clean without my manager's view of me being tarnished and then having to potentially report it to the company.

My boss and job are awesome and I really just want to keep working and leave the past in the past. What do I do? Please help me.

The terminology in the post strongly suggests England or Wales, where an “Enhanced DBS” check is commonly used for certain roles involving children. That jurisdiction is not explicitly confirmed, so the exact legal position could differ elsewhere.

Under current Disclosure and Barring Service rules, an Enhanced DBS check contains the same unfiltered conviction and caution information as a Standard check and can additionally include relevant information held by local police. Certain roles involving children are legally eligible for this higher level of check.

But “enhanced” does not mean that every incident from someone’s youth automatically appears forever.

Current filtering rules say youth cautions, warnings and reprimands are generally not automatically disclosed.

A youth conviction for a non-specified offence is normally automatically disclosed for five and a half years, while certain specified offences and convictions resulting in custodial sentences can remain disclosable. Enhanced checks can also contain relevant police information in particular circumstances.

That makes one Reddit claim worth correcting: simply saying “anything before 18 is fine” is too broad.

The employee’s actual offences, disposals, age, sentences and the specific mentoring role would determine what could appear. Without those details, neither Reddit nor an article can responsibly predict the certificate.

More importantly, disclosure does not automatically equal dismissal. Government guidance says employers assessing someone with a conviction should make a balanced judgement, considering factors including “the person’s age at the time of the offence,” how long ago it occurred, whether there was a pattern, its relevance to the position and the person’s conduct since.

That list almost seems written for this story. The conduct happened roughly 15 years ago during adolescence, the poster reports no further serious trouble, and his employer now has substantial firsthand evidence of how he behaves professionally.

The DBS also tells employers to treat applicants fairly and avoid unfair discrimination based on criminal-record information. Current recruitment guidance recommends an “open and measured discussion” when something may appear on a check and is not automatically a bar to the role.

Nacro, a UK charity specializing in criminal-record matters, similarly advises employers to assess the relevance of an offence against the actual job, while considering how long ago it happened, whether there was a pattern and evidence of rehabilitation.

Its employer guidance explicitly notes that very old convictions from someone’s youth may no longer be relevant because people can put their past behind them.

That does not guarantee a happy outcome. Serious violent offenses may legitimately raise safeguarding questions in a role involving teenagers. The employer may conclude he cannot participate in that particular program even while remaining suitable for his ordinary job. Those are separate decisions.

The poster’s strongest fact is also the one panic seems to be obscuring: he says he did not lie when he was hired.

If that is accurate, inventing increasingly implausible excuses now may create a trust problem that did not previously exist.

A private conversation with the appropriate manager or HR representative could be much cleaner: explain that an old juvenile record may be relevant to the enhanced screening, confirm that everything required at onboarding was disclosed correctly, and ask confidentially what the consequences would be for the mentoring role and existing employment.

He may also want independent advice from an organization such as Nacro or Unlock before making disclosures beyond what the law requires. Government eligibility guidance specifically points applicants toward those organizations when they have questions about higher-level checks.

The hardest lesson here may be that rehabilitation does not erase history, but history does not automatically erase rehabilitation either.

See what others had to share with OP:

These Redditors urged OP to tell the manager first and lead with honesty

RetiredAerospaceVP − If you are working for a decent company, something that happened 15 years ago, unless it is really large,

(m__der, a__ault, etc) shouldn’t not be a deal breaker. You say you did not lie on original paperwork.

That’s a big plus I would go to your boss and lay it all out. Sounds like you are pretty miserable right now hanging out in l__bo.

Best of luck to you. You really sounds like a keeper.

KungFuBarbeque − Manager here (in the US, not the UK), all the posts saying come clean to your boss are correct.

Your boss will likely respect that you are justifiably worried about the issue and you have been honest as needed on all legal requirements thus far.

Hiding something or coming up with an "out" aside from just being honest, will show as deceptive and that will ruin your relationship.

I can respect that something happened 15 years ago happened and since then you've remedied.

PS, I'm not sure the standards of the company you work for, but the company I work for,

even the enhanced background checks only go back 7 years. You may find a similar situation is the case.

Michelledelhuman − It sounds like you're already screwed so the only thing you can do is come clean to your manager and hope that they are understanding.

workingMan9to5 − Go talk to your manager. Tell him you got in trouble as a kid and while you've matured since then,

you aren't going to pass the background check and you would rather withdraw now before it shows up in front of HR and gets out to your coworkers.

It sounds like you have a good relationship and your manager is supportive- just be honest about it.

We all make mistakes, failing to own up to them is what screws us.

These commenters shared that coming clean can build trust and show personal integrity

horsendogguy − I think there's only one viable option: Talk to your boss. Let's look at your choices:

1. Do nothing and hope the background check doesn't find what you're hiding.

2. Withdraw with an "I'm too busy" or "I really don't want to" or "I had a bad experience with delinquent teens years ago,

I don't think I work well with them, and I really don't want to go there again. " 3. Get in front of it and talk to your boss.

Choice #1 is tempting, but from your post it sounds like you think they will find out. If they are going to find out, Choice #3 is better.

Choice #2 is tempting too, but it will have repercussions. They obviously like you. They obviously think you are suited to bigger things.

Unless you have a hell of an excuse, refusing this is probably going to make them think less of you. Choice #3 is risky, but probably not terribly so.

They might fire you, but probably won't. If they wanted this information for the job you currently hold they'd have asked for it.

If they know, it might limit where you can go in the company but that's likely to happen anyway with choices #1 and #2. I'd sit the boss down.

Tell him you're happy there. Tell him you like the job and like him. Tell him you want to grow in the company and you're willing to work your ass...

Tell him you'd like to take on this challenge. But tell him you weren't always that way.

When you were a kid, you had issues and you did things you're not proud of.

You wish you could take them back, but can't. But you also learned a lot from those mistakes and are working to be a better person.

You hope the company can recognize you're a different person now than you were then, but, if they can't, you understand. Don't whine.

Don't make excuses. Don't blame the cops or your folks or your teachers or hotel workers in Peru. Scary, I know.

But redemption is not only possible; people love a good redemption story.

Some of the most well paid, in demand, people on the lecture circuit are former bank robbers, hackers, white collar thieves, and gang members.

Just get in front of it.

UnethicalTesticle − I went through a similar situation. Got into some serious trouble when I was 15.

Because I was a juvenile, it doesn’t show up on standard background checks but does on enhanced ones.

My company wanted me to apply for a liquor license for one of our new locations, as each location required a separate license holder.

I tried to come up with every excuse in the book until I realized I was screwed.

I came clean to my boss and he was more understanding than I’d ever thought possible.

That said, I totally understand your feeling of doom and gloom right now.

I was absolutely sure this would end with my termination at worst, or a complete loss of the respect I’d earned at the very least.

Just wanted to let you know that coming clean worked out for me. Honestly, at this point you have nothing to lose.

They’re going to find out one was or another. Coming clean shows integrity.

Lying about the reason behind your sudden change of heart does no one any favors. Good luck.

These users felt an old mistake may matter less after years of strong performance and growth

OpportunityCorrect33 − OP, May I ask what you were charged with?

Most managers will be understanding of a criminal record especially in situations

like yours where you’ve turned your life completely around and exhibited stellar performance in your workplace.

Ray19121919 − It might not be as big of a deal as you are making it out to be. I doubt you’d get fired.

It seems like you have a good relationship with your boss so you could be open with them about your concerns and what might come up.

kang4president − Former background investigator, if it happened before you were 18 it’s fine.

If the investigator brings it up be honest and don’t try to deny or hide anything.

Latter-Possibility − Have they said the background check is going roto rooter? Do you work for a financial institution, government, or give contractor?

Would coming clean strengthen the trust he already earned, or is withdrawing quietly still the safer move?

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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