Woman Says Friend Keeps Claiming New Disorders, and She No Longer Knows How to Respond

Friendships can become exhausting when you care about someone but no longer know how to respond to their behavior. It gets even harder when every reaction feels wrong, because playing along seems dishonest while pushing back could make the situation more intense.

One Reddit user described a friend who is funny, interesting, and enjoyable to be around most of the time, but who also frequently claims a changing list of illnesses, disorders, and identities. The poster believes many of these claims are fabricated, although that is their personal interpretation rather than a medical diagnosis.

What leaves them stuck is deciding how to respond without encouraging the behavior or turning the friendship into a constant confrontation. Scroll down to see why they are now considering whether quietly stepping away may be the only realistic option.

A woman struggles with a friend whose dramatic illnesses and identities seem to appear whenever attention fades

Friendship becomes exhausting when compassion seems to require pretending that something is true. The OP clearly still sees qualities she genuinely likes in her friend: humor, intelligence, and companionship.

What wears her down is feeling repeatedly pulled into medical and psychological claims she does not believe, then worrying that refusing to participate could make matters worse. That tension can leave someone trapped between guilt and irritation, which may explain why the OP describes the behavior as “cringe” while simultaneously showing considerable concern for her friend.

One important distinction changes the situation, however: the OP cannot know from these observations alone that her friend has factitious disorder. Inconsistent symptoms, questionable stories, dramatic behavior, or apparent attention-seeking can raise concerns, but they are not enough for a friend to make a psychiatric diagnosis. Even the DID claims should not become evidence for an amateur diagnosis simply because they appear implausible.

The Mayo Clinic describes factitious disorder as a serious condition involving deliberate falsification, exaggeration, or production of illness without an obvious external reward. Crucially, Mayo notes that diagnosis can be extremely difficult even for clinicians because it requires objectively establishing deceptive symptoms and carefully evaluating other explanations.

It also warns that direct accusations often produce anger or defensiveness. Loved ones are generally encouraged to respond without humiliation, support healthier activities, and avoid giving excessive attention to illness-focused behavior.

Cleveland Clinic offers a similar perspective. Its medically reviewed guidance explains that treatment usually focuses on reducing harmful behavior and addressing underlying psychological needs through psychotherapy. Family therapy can sometimes help loved ones learn not to unintentionally reinforce problematic behavior.

That advice offers the OP a third option besides enthusiastically playing along or dramatically confronting her friend. She can stop debating whether each condition is “real” and respond neutrally instead. If an alter suddenly appears, she does not have to participate in an elaborate performance.

If another illness is announced, she can express brief concern and redirect rather than interrogating, validating every detail, or trying to expose inconsistencies.

Most importantly, the OP is allowed to judge the friendship by its effect on her, not by whether she can prove a diagnosis. If interactions have become dominated by performances, anxiety, and resentment, gradually creating distance is legitimate.

Compassion does not require becoming somebody’s therapist, detective, or permanent audience. Sometimes the healthiest boundary is simply refusing to participate in behavior that makes a friendship unbearable while leaving diagnosis and treatment to professionals.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These Redditors recommended ignoring the attention-seeking behavior instead of rewarding it with reactions

These commenters believed there may be a genuine mental health issue behind the behavior, though the exact cause is unclear.

These users shared experiences with people who claimed or pursued diagnoses and found the behavior exhausting

These Redditors questioned why OP remains friends with someone whose behavior makes the relationship so draining

Should she set firmer boundaries and keep the friendship, or quietly let it fade? Where would the line be for you?