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Man Was Dumped In A Turkmenistan Millitary School As A Teen, Now He’s A Colonel And They Want To Reconnect

by Annie Nguyen
July 22, 2025
in Social Issues

Imagine being 15 years old, spiraling through your rebellious teenage years, and instead of therapy or support, your parents send you to a military boarding school… in a foreign country… where you don’t even speak the language. That’s exactly what happened to one Redditor, whose deeply personal post shook Reddit with a mix of shock, admiration, and fiery debate.

Now thriving in Turkmenistan—with a military career, love, and a found family—he refuses to let his biological parents back into his life. After years of emotional distance and neglect, is he being petty for cutting them off? Or is this just justice, finally served? Let’s dig into the post that has Reddit taking sides across continents.

Man Was Dumped In A Turkmenistan Millitary School As A Teen, Now He’s A Colonel And They Want To Reconnect

One man’s teenage rebellion led to a drastic exile to a Turkmenistan military school, and now he’s refusing his parents’ visits

'Aita For Not Letting My Parents Visit Me After They Sent Me To A Military Boarding School In Turkmenistan?'

I grew up in Chelyabinsk, Russia, a fairly decent sized city in central russia, kind of close to Kazakhstan. My parents were in charge of some local mining operations and this were fairly well off.

I admit, I was a bit of a shithead as a middle schooler/teen, I did drugs, drank excessively, graffitied, and other stuff. I did get arrested a couple times. My parents then decided to send me to a military boarding school in Turkmenistan, like what the f**k why?

I begged them not to, I promised I'll change, I asked for a therapist, boarding school in russia or a western country just not there. They said I needed to learn the hard way. Really I think they just wanted me gone. My dad and i foew to ashgabat when i was 15.

I just assumed scholl would be in russian, everyone speaks Russian in Turkmenistan. Nope turns out my school was in turkmen, f**king great. First year was hell, I dodnt understand the teachers, thankfully most students were nice and helped me oit. After a year I eventually spoke proficient turkmen. My grades rose.

My parents called or emailed like once a month, they usually ignored me. They visited once a year, or I went back. At this point my parents were dead to me.

My first summer they didnt even let me come back to russia, so I had to work and provide for myself in Mary (city in Turkmenistan, not a girl) which is where I met the love of my life, Ogulgerek. She visited me and snuck into my school all the time. Shes amazing.

Her family took care of me too, I consider them to be my parents more than my biologicak ones. I didnt see my parents for another 1. 5 years until graduation which they did visit.

At this point I really dodnt give a s**t about them, they seemed all excited to see my and bring ne back to russia, I told them no, I'm not going back with then to russia, in going to the turkmen military academy.

They were f**king pissed saying in russian and their son, I told them they abandoned me so I'm abandoning them. Years later I'm a Colonel? Not sure the equivalent or translation, and I fly a Sukhoi 25, my job is awesome.

My parents are begging me to visit them or have mr visit, I've always told them to p**s off. They're toxic af and just want to brag about me, I'm not joking they brag about my accomplishments on VK (russian Facebook equivalent).

Talk about a family rift that spans continents! This Redditor’s decision to block his parents’ visits stems from their choice to send him to a Turkmenistan military school at 15, where he struggled with a new language and minimal contact. Now a thriving pilot, he sees their outreach as bragging, not bonding. Is he justified in cutting them off, or should he give them a chance?

Parental discipline shouldn’t mean abandonment. Dr. Philip Zimbardo, a psychologist, noted in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Harsh punishments like isolation can erode family trust, especially without ongoing support”. Sending the Redditor to a foreign school with little follow-up—monthly calls and rare visits—felt like rejection, not tough love. His success, while remarkable, doesn’t erase their neglect during his formative years.

Family estrangement often follows perceived betrayal. A 2022 study by the Journal of Family Issues found that 20% of adult children cut contact due to parental neglect or extreme discipline. The parents’ newfound pride, flaunted on social media, ignores the Redditor’s pain and his bond with his new family in Turkmenistan. Their choice of a non-Russian-speaking school seems particularly callous.

Could this have been less final? A conversation setting boundaries for visits might’ve opened a door, but his hurt runs deep. Neutral advice? Maintain distance but consider a letter explaining his feelings, leaving room for future talks if they show genuine remorse. Therapy could help him process the trauma. What do you think—righteous cutoff or missed reconciliation?

Reddit’s global jury largely backed the Redditor, slamming his parents’ neglect

MaxFuryToad called the parents controlling yet negligent, supporting the Redditor’s cutoff.

MaxFuryToad − NTA There is a surprising amount of rich guys who want to have children for the looks but still act like a single couple. They inevitably become deadbeats (if not abusive) and simultaneously controling and negligent.

You where lucky to be left alone and the fact that they didn't even asked or cared about your wishes and just assumed you would go back to russia shows they neither know you or care about you more than as a projection of themselves. If they act really respectfull maybe you show the same minimal interest they showed you while in Turkmenistan.

Ollyator labeled the foreign school choice cruel, understanding the Redditor’s stance.

ollyator − NTA. I agree with your assessment that your parents needs to something about your behavior but shipping you off to a boarding school in a foreign country where you didn’t speak the language and then barely visiting and not letting you come home for the summer was cruel. I completely understand why you wouldn’t want them in your life.

Remarkable-Echo9427 congratulated his success, saying he owes his parents nothing now.

Remarkable-Echo9427 − NTA. It sounds like you have done really well for yourself when you could have gone down a bad path. Congratulations on your school graduation and your career. If there is a time in the future you’re ready to rebuild the relationship with your parents, approach it then. If that’s not now, or ever, they need to respect that.

Ebwoods1 suggested the parents’ neglect caused his teen rebellion, backing his decision.

ebwoods1 − NTA They shipped you off to a school where you don't even speak the language. Then ignored you until you became something that fit their ideal. Wondering if their 'parenting' is the reason you were so wild as a teen.

I'm a bit petty and my coffee was mediocre this morning so I'm inclined to say, fine, go visit. But don't speak Russian. Speak Turkmen. Shrug and tell them they will figure it out.

WebbieVanderquack argued both sides messed up, citing the Redditor’s teen behavior.

WebbieVanderquack − ESH. like what the f**k why? Because you were '[difficult] as a middle schooler/teen,' you 'did drugs, drank excessively' and got 'arrested a couple times.

' I don't know if military school in Turkmenistan was the ideal solution, and I think they suck for not contacting you more, but I also think you have to take some responsibility here.

Squish_the_android credited the parents for saving his life, but didn’t fault the cutoff.

Squish_the_android − I was a bit of a shithead as a middle schooler/teen, I did drugs, drank excessively, graffitied, and other stuff. I did get arrested a couple times. My parents then decided to send me to a military boarding school in Turkmenistan, like what the f**k why?

You have a super skewed view of how badly your life was going to go. You would be in prison if they didn't get you away from that environment. You'd have nothing. I have zero faith that someone behaving as described was willing to change at all.

I'm also sure you were probably worse than you self described. I won't call you an a**hole for cutting off your parents, but they honestly probably saved your life.

IBALLISTIC54321 criticized the parents’ lack of therapy, cheering the Redditor’s new life.

IBALLISTIC54321 − You're definitely not the a**hole here! Even if you did drink and do drugs as a teen, you were just a teen! There's plenty of time to change and I feel your parents didn't want that responsability. Another thing, they didn't even think of sending you to a Russian school? What? Either your parents wanted you to fail, or they didn't do enough research. Glad to hear you've found someone and a good family!

Redwineandgyozas called the parents’ abandonment heartless, supporting the Redditor.

redwineandgyozas − NTA - I have nothing against the military school in this situation, from your own description it sounds like you needed it (or at least something of that sort). What makes them the assholes is 'dumping' you there and not looking back.

They abandoned you at 15 in a foreign country with little to no contact. I can´t imagine what it must have been for you... but gladly you made a life for yourself and you new family. You owe them nothing.

A Reddit user asked if therapy was ever offered, siding with the Redditor’s choice.

[Reddit User] − I'll say NTA to be honest did your parents very consider therpy or even give you a chance to have a 1on 1 with each parent.

This Redditor’s refusal to let his parents visit after they exiled him to a Turkmenistan military school at 15 has family ties in a tailspin. Their minimal contact then and prideful bragging now feel like betrayal, not love.

Was he right to slam the door, or should he crack it open for peace? How would you handle parents who sent you away? Jet your thoughts into the comment hangar below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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