A devoted single father covered his 20-year-old daughter’s full college tuition and let her stay home without charging rent, crafting what he saw as a generous arrangement. But layering on full responsibility for daily meals and cleaning for the entire family turned it into an exhausting second shift alongside her demanding classes.
The daughter finally cracked under the pressure, pleading for fewer chore days to salvage her study time and grades. He stood firm, insisting she appreciate the deal and comparing her setup favorably to friends balancing jobs with school. Then her aunt unleashed a blistering call, blasting him for rigidity, and suddenly, he’s torn between enforcing the agreement or offering some flexibility.
A single dad faces Reddit backlash over his college daughter’s chore-for-rent arrangement.
In this case, a single father is covering college costs and housing for his 20-year-old daughter in exchange for her handling cooking and cleaning. She feels the load is cutting into her study time, while he sees it as a generous alternative to paid rent or outside jobs.
Both sides have valid points: the dad wants to teach gratitude and contribution, while the daughter needs space to prioritize education.
From one angle, expecting contributions makes sense. Many families view shared homes as team efforts. On the flip side, overloading a full-time student risks burnout, potentially harming grades and long-term success.
This ties into broader trends in family dynamics. With economic pressures rising, more young adults stay or return home.
According to a 2023 survey conducted by researchers at The Harris Poll, including Chief Strategy Officer Libby Rodney, roughly 45% of U.S. young adults aged 18-29 lived with their parents, the highest rate since the 1940s.
Many do so to save money or focus on studies, but it often requires clear expectations around contributions.
Clinical psychologist Emily Kline emphasizes balance: “Whether they pay rent or not, young adults who live with their parents should think about how they can contribute to the household, either financially or by doing chores, cooking, or caring for children or aging relatives.”
Her words highlight relevance here. Contributions build responsibility without overwhelming education goals.
Neutral solutions often work best: revisit agreements openly. Perhaps scale back chores on busier school days or involve younger siblings more, while keeping some structure.
Compromises like the dad’s updated idea – an option for paid rent with fewer duties – can teach real-world lessons gently. Ultimately, flexibility strengthens bonds, showing support while encouraging independence.
See what others had to share with OP:
Some people believe YTA for overburdening the daughter with excessive chores while she’s studying in college.
Some people think YTA for ignoring the daughter’s pleas about being overwhelmed and prioritizing chores over her education.
Others criticize the uneven distribution of chores, especially not expecting younger sons to contribute.
Some question the transactional nature of the parent-daughter relationship.
![[Reddit User] − Info: how many meal she cooks a day/week and for how many person?](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/wp-editor-1766111375318-2.webp "Daughter Needs Time To Study, Dad Still Forces Her To Handle All Chores Instead Of Paying Rent")
This family standoff reminds us that good intentions can clash when life gets hectic – supporting a child’s dreams while teaching real-world grit isn’t always straightforward.
Do you think the dad’s original deal was spot-on fair, or should he ease up sooner to keep her studies on track? With his new compromise on the table, is it a smart middle ground or still too firm? How would you navigate sharing chores and costs with a college kid at home? Drop your thoughts below, we’re all ears!
