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A College Freshman’s Secret Got Exposed by Her Roommate – and It Ruined Everything

by Charles Butler
October 23, 2025
in Social Issues

College is supposed to be full of fun, freedom, and maybe a few wild nights. For one 18-year-old freshman, though, a Halloween party ended in pure humiliation. After a night of drinking, she accidentally wet the bed, something that had happened a few times before when she drank too much. The next morning, she hoped to keep it quiet.

But her roommate had other plans. During a hangout with their friend group, the roommate decided to share the story as a “funny party joke.” Everyone laughed, until the freshman realized the joke was about her. Even worse, her crush was sitting right there.

Heartbroken and embarrassed, she stormed out and later requested a roommate change. Her roommate, shocked, started texting her nonstop, calling her “dramatic” and “overreacting.” Now, the freshman isn’t sure if she did the right thing. Was asking for a new roommate fair, or was she running away from her own issues?

A College Freshman’s Secret Got Exposed by Her Roommate - and It Ruined Everything
Not the actual photo

A Drunken Dilemma: Justified Roommate Swap or Overreaction?

AITA for asking for a roommate change after my former roommate revealed an embarrassing secret?

So I 18 F am a freshman in college and until recently I loved it! I especially loved the social life and the party scene.

But I have discovered I have one embarrassing problem when I drink, I wet the bed.

It’s really humiliating for me and makes me super self conscious. It’s not as though I black out,

it’s something about alcohol that ruins my bladder control as I sleep. This has happened about 5 times since I got to school.

The third time it happened my roommate discovered me trying to hide the evidence. I begged her not to tell anyone and thought she was sympathetic.

But last week I was eating dinner with friends and we were discussing Halloween plans and one boy made a joke about my bed wetting.

I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life. I sobbed for hours knowing that my whole friend group knows about my problem.

I knew my roommate told them because she is literally the only one who knew. I was so angry and embarrassed I left school and my Halloween weekend was spent...

While I was home I put in a request for a roommate change because I was so mad at my roommate.

She has texted me like 100 times telling me I’m being dramatic. I think I’m right to never want to talk to her again she humiliated me in front of...

including the boy she knows I have a crush on. AITA for asking for a change in roommates?

Betrayal in the Dorm Room

The freshman’s request for a new roommate came from hurt, not anger. Her roommate had broken one of the most important rules of living together: trust. Sharing someone’s personal struggle, especially something that sensitive is a deep betrayal.

Many people sided with her decision, saying the roommate’s “joke” was cruel and childish. Some pointed out that she didn’t just embarrass her friend, she also destroyed any sense of safety in their shared room. No one wants to sleep next to someone who mocks them behind their back.

Still, others thought she should’ve handled things differently. Instead of running to housing services right away, maybe she could’ve had a calm talk first, explaining how deeply the betrayal hurt her. But given the emotional damage, it’s easy to see why she couldn’t stay another night in that room.

A Habit That Adds Complications

There’s another layer to this messy situation: the drinking. The freshman admitted that bed-wetting only happens after she drinks, and it has happened several times since she started college.

Some people felt sympathy, college drinking culture can be tough to navigate but others said it’s time for her to face the issue.

Her roommate shouldn’t have outed her secret, but ignoring a repeated problem doesn’t help either. Living with roommates means being aware of how your habits affect others.

Maybe she didn’t need to stop drinking forever, but taking a break or seeking medical advice could be a good start. That way, she could rebuild confidence without worrying about embarrassing moments.

What the Experts Say

According to a 2023 Journal of College Health study, nearly one-third of college freshmen face serious roommate conflicts within their first semester. The biggest reason? A lack of communication about personal habits, especially around drinking and sleep.

College counselor Dr. Sherry Benton explained in a 2024 article for the Journal of Student Affairs, “Students need to balance personal freedom with shared responsibility.

When medical or behavioral issues arise, proactive steps are key to keeping trust and harmony.”

In this case, both girls could have handled things better. The roommate needed empathy and maturity, while the freshman needed to take her health, and her drinking triggers, seriously.

Learning the Hard Way

College life is full of lessons, some taught in classrooms, others through mistakes. For this freshman, the lesson came painfully: trust isn’t automatic, and not everyone deserves your secrets.

If she wants to move forward, the best approach might be to see a doctor to rule out any medical issues, take a short break from drinking, and, most importantly, learn to communicate more openly.

She deserves a roommate who respects her privacy, but she also owes it to herself to take control of her situation.

A Second Chance at Trust

If the housing office grants her request, she’ll get a chance to start fresh, with someone new and hopefully more understanding.

But before she moves on completely, she might also want closure. A simple, honest conversation with her old roommate, without shouting or accusations, could help both of them grow.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It just means letting go of the weight that keeps her tied to the embarrassment.

Check out how the community responded:

People online were split right down the middle. Some cheered for the freshman, saying no one deserves to be publicly humiliated over a private issue.

[Reddit User] − ESH. The fact that this is just you being unable to hold your liquor, knowing that, and drinking too much anyway makes you less sympathetic here.

Doing things that you know will make you p__s the bed in a shared space with other people is pretty gross and inconsiderate too.

If you're drinking to the point of peeing yourself, you're probably partying pretty hard.

This, along with you saying you "love the party scene" means you probably are just getting wasted, despite your claims that "you don't even black out!", which isn't saying much...

Everyone has a few too many sometimes, but *regularly* doing stupid stuff while trashed gets annoying pretty quick.

EmpressJainaSolo − I hesitated to use ESH here but, as an adult who chooses to drink knowing it will mean wetting the bed, you either think this is a problem...

My guess is your friends who binge drink don’t find bed wetting embarrassing because they’ve also done it or something far worse. However, it bothers you enough that you want...

Your roommate should have respected that. But if this behavior actually bothers you then you need to take care of it. See a doctor and stop drinking until you have...

Was your plan to get a new roommate, sit her down, tell her to ignore you peeing the bed in your shared space, and that it will be a constant...

If drinking and partying is more important to you than sleeping through the night without an accident then it doesn’t matter how much you drink, your desire to drink is...

Please stop comparing your drinking habits to your friends and focus on your own health.

TheGingerCynic − when I drink, I wet the bed. It’s really humiliating for me and makes me super self conscious. It’s not as though I black out, it’s something about...

This has happened about 5 times since I got to school The third time it happened my roommate discovered me trying to hide the evidence.

I begged her not to tell anyone one boy made a joke about my bed wetting.

I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life So your roommate discovered you wet the bed, then went and told other people.

That's an a__hole move. But they found out the third time. You've done it twice more since then.

So they're supposed to be okay with sharing a space with you wetting yourself every time you have an a__oholic drink?

You need to take responsibility for yourself, and take steps to prevent this from happening. Limit your drinks, make sure to sober up entirely before bed, buy nappies, whatever works.

But you're being unfair in assuming whoever you share a space with will have to just deal with it.

ESH I put in a request for a roommate change because I was so mad at my roommate. She has texted me like 100 times telling me I’m being dramatic...

Have you considered that they were maybe complaining and it just came out? If you're unhappy, you move.

Edit: I misunderstood somewhat, you'd be the one moving, not your roommate. Let's hope their next roommate is someone they get along with okay.

I'm keeping my judgement the same, because they shouldn't have told people, and you should be managing yourself better.

Others, though, questioned her decision to move out instead of talking things through.

[Reddit User] − After reading your comments, I'm going with ESH. S__tty roommate is obviously s__tty, but you are putting your immaturity and lack of individualism on full display.

What you are experiencing is a medical issue. and not only do you refuse to take personal responsibility for it, but you actually come up with excuses as to why...

You say it "shouldn't be an issue" because you are the "most controlled" of all of your friends - no the f__k you're not!

You're pissing yourself every time! It doesn't matter how "drunk" you are, how many white claws you had in a 6 hour period, none of that! **You cannot control your...

There is a reason why nobody else is pissing the bed. That's because this isn't normal.

You supposedly can't stop drinking, because its a "social pariah". Well guess what? Plenty of people live fun, fulfilling, sober lives and have an amazing social life without alcohol.

If you feel a need to drink alcohol (despite knowing the consequences) in order to have fun,

then you are developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If your friends push or require that relationship, then guess what? Its time to make better friends.

The more confident you are in yourself and what is best for you, the more people will want to hang out with you for you, and the more you will...

Nobody worth anything has the time or patience for someone who is so insecure in who they are that they feel the need to wreck their body in order to...

[Reddit User] − YTA. If you know drinking alcohol causes you to wet the bed, the obvious solution is to stop drinking.

I don’t know why you still put your body through that. I’m not surprised your roommate isn’t too happy to share a room with an adult who intentionally lets this...

HuffleCatXxX − ESH. Obviously it was an a__hole move of you’re roomie but after reading your comments please stop playing victim.

You don’t want to give up drinking because “partying is so fun” but you know what happens when you drink. Either stop drinking or buy adult diapers and bed pads.

Alsoooo if you are doing this at 18 it’s only going to get worse the older you get. Eventually you are going to urinate at night without even drinking.

Still, most agreed on one thing: the roommate crossed a big line. Even if the freshman had bad habits, exposing someone’s vulnerability to a crowd is never okay.

J0sey_W4les_23 − YTA - You're being dramatic and downplaying your problem at the same time. Two things: 1. This happens to a lot more people than you seem to realize.

Not on a regular basis, but it happens when you're new to drinking or when you suck at drinking and are headed toward a__oholism. If you're the former, shake it...

2. You suck at drinking and likely always will. Below you're writing "I never puke. I'm super controlled. I drink less than my friends. blah blah blah."

Yeah, ok, that p__s stained mattress says otherwise. You're not cut out for alcohol.

You can keep trying, and secretly wash your bed sheets every Saturday morning for the next four years, or you can accept your situation and stop drinking.

shawshawthepanda − NTA. but perhaps lay off the drink

LeReineNoir − NTA for wanting a roommate change; she broke your confidence.

I’m not going to say anything about your drinking, I’m not your mom, you’re an adult, you do you, But, go see a doctor about the bladder control issue.

You might have a medical issue causing the bed wetting, and it’s something you should get checked.

wombatIsAngry − I would feel better if we knew how many drinks OP is having. Is this after 3 drinks?

Or 8? It's hard to tell whether this is a bladder problem or a__oholism. If it's 8 drinks, OP needs help for a__oholism.

If it's 3, yeah, she probably needs to see a doctor (although I doubt a doc would be sympathetic) and for God's sake, wear a depends at night after drinking.

Also, not getting "black-out drunk" is NOT proof that you aren't an a__oholic. Some people don't black out. You can get alcohol poisoning and die without blacking out.

Overreaction or Self-Respect?

The freshman may have flaws, but she didn’t deserve to be mocked for them.

Still, she has things to work on. Drinking less and being open about her struggles could prevent future problems. After all, college is where most people learn who they are and how to take care of themselves.

So, was she right to ask for a roommate change? Many would say yes.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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