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“A Mistake That Keeps Happening Is a Choice”: Mom Reaches Breaking Point With Son

by Charles Butler
November 13, 2025
in Social Issues

Every parent has a breaking point. It’s that moment when exhaustion, worry, and frustration boil over into a decision that you never thought you’d have to make. For one single mom, that moment came in the dead of night, triggered by an unlocked door, a missing cat, and the chilling realization that she no longer felt safe in her own home.

Her 18-year-old son calls it “a mistake,” but after a pattern of irresponsibility and escalating verbal abuse, she had to make a heartbreaking choice for the safety of herself and her other children. She sent him to live with his dad, and now she’s turning to the internet, wondering if she did the right thing.

So let’s get right into the heart of this difficult family moment:

"A Mistake That Keeps Happening Is a Choice": Mom Reaches Breaking Point With Son
Not the actual photo

AITA for sending my son to stay with his dad because he left the door unlocked?

I (45) am a single mom. I do not have a lot of rules, but I expect the few I have to be followed because they are for both for...

My (18M) oldest child has always had difficulty following rules. He is also extremely irresponsible and does not seem to understand how his actions affect others.

When he does something wrong, he gets irrationally angry about it or tries to rationalize it. Any comment, even constructive criticism, is met with aggressive anger and name calling.

By his own admission, he has anger issues, and he sees a therapist regularly. Now that he’s legally an adult, if we have a disagreement, he will immediately start yelling,...

and say that’s he’s an adult and I can’t tell him what to do. He’s made some poor decisions that have negatively impacted our family and does not seem to...

If this was any other relationship and not my child, I would have ended it long ago. I am sick of his blow ups and being called names in my...

And I am sick of him doing whatever he wants with no regards to how his actions affect others. Tonight I hit my breaking point.

He went out and when he got home, he did not lock the door or even check to make sure it was latched. I heard him come in and called...

He ignored me. The door was left wide open and one of our cats got out and is now missing. This is not the first time he’s failed to close...

I have woken up twice in the last year to discover my front door wide open in the middle of the night. Due to his anger issues and the fact...

like close a door, I no longer feel safe with him here. I called his father tonight in tears, and he immediately came over and helped look for our cat....

but he doesn’t understand why I am so upset over a mistake. I told him a mistake that keeps happening is a choice and that he has no regard for...

For the safety of me, my other children, and our pets, I asked his father to take him to stay at his house for now. Our son is mad at...

My heart just aches for this mom. Reading her story, you can feel the years of exhaustion and worry bleeding through the screen. This wasn’t a sudden, angry decision made in the heat of the moment. This was the slow, painful end of a rope she’d been holding onto for a very, very long time.

The missing cat is tragic, but it’s also a symbol of something much bigger. The unlocked door represents a fundamental breakdown of trust and respect in the one place everyone deserves to feel secure: their home. The son’s insistence that “it was just a mistake” shows how deeply he fails to grasp the emotional and physical weight of his actions.

For his mom, that door swinging open in the dark was a terrifying metaphor for the chaos he was bringing into their lives.

Tough Love in an Era of “Failure to Launch”

This isn’t an uncommon scenario. With more young adults living at home than at any time since the Great Depression, many parents find themselves in a challenging limbo. They are navigating how to parent someone who is legally an adult but still living under their roof and, in this case, actively disrupting the peace.

The son’s behavior, particularly the explosive anger and inability to manage his responsibilities, screams of a deeper issue, which the mom later suspects is undiagnosed ADHD. The link between ADHD and emotional dysregulation is well-documented. Organizations like CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) explain that people with ADHD can experience emotions more intensely and have a harder time controlling their reactions. This is an explanation, not an excuse, but it adds a layer of complexity and tragedy to the story.

The mom’s decision was an act of what is often called “tough love.” But it’s also a powerful act of self-preservation. It’s a situation that, as psychotherapist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler explains in an article for Verywell Family, is incredibly difficult for parents, who often feel “a sense of shame…that they failed in some way.”

But this mom didn’t fail. She made a decision to protect herself and her other children from ongoing verbal abuse and a dangerous lack of consideration.

The Reddit community rallied around this mom in a huge way.

The verdict was a resounding NTA, with users calling out the son’s behavior as straight-up dangerous and abusive.

PresumedSapient - NTA He's endangering your and your other children's safety and possessions... He says he's an adult not? Fine, then take responsibility for your actions!

Unprepared_adult - NTA- people forget that children can also be perpetrators of abuse against their parents. You deserve to feel safe in your own home and your children deserve to...

ArwenandEowyn - NTA. He's an adult who is deliberately endangering your family. He shows no remorse, and these clearly are not mistakes, as he does so again and again.

dart1126 - NTA. He is so obsessed with not listening to you in any fashion that he thinks it’s acceptable

to not only NOT lock the door, but he leaves it actually OPEN/ AJAR in defiance... Time for some tough love.

[Reddit User] - “A mistake that keeps happening is a choice”. Nailed it. NTA. I hope you find your kitty, OP!

Beyond judgment, many users offered practical advice, both for the son’s potential ADHD and for luring the missing cat back home.

Utter_cockwomble - I'm assuming the unwillingness to formalize an ADHD diagnosis is because he wants a career in the military or law enforcement?

Because I'll tell you right now the inability to follow directions and the outright defiance and anger he's showing will absolutely keep him from those careers.

alfredaeneuman - If you put your cat’s litter box outside, it might get your cat to come home.

UltraDinoWarrior - As for the cat, I’ve heard sticking their litter box outside is a good way to attract it back! I hope you find it!

One of the most powerful responses came from another parent who had been through a terrifyingly similar experience, reminding everyone that parental abuse is real.

Big-Cloud-6719 - NTA and I've been there... I spent YEARS being called "wh*re", "b*tch" and other words by him and everyone told me to suck it up, he's my son...

He ALSO left a door open once and our cat got out and died... The next day, I was trying to reason with him and he put hands on me......

and he's lived with his dad since. We now have a better relationship... I was the victim of domestic violence BY MY SON'S HANDS and I will never put my...

How to Navigate a Crisis Like This

When the dynamic with an adult child becomes unsafe or toxic, taking action is crucial, even if it feels impossible. Your home must be a sanctuary. It’s okay to insist that a family member who consistently shatters that peace find another place to live, especially when other options, like a second parent’s home, are available.

Continuing with professional help is key. It’s a great sign that the son is already in therapy, but this kind of family crisis often requires family therapy as well, where a neutral third party can help mediate and teach healthier communication skills.

Finally, remember that setting a boundary like this isn’t about ending a relationship. It’s about fundamentally changing it. The message isn’t “I don’t love you anymore,” it’s “I love you, and I love myself, and the way we have been living is no longer sustainable or safe. Something has to change.”

The Final Straw

This mom’s story is a painful but powerful reminder that parents are people, too. They deserve peace, respect, and safety. Her decision wasn’t just about a door or a cat. It was about drawing a line and declaring that her well-being, and the well-being of her other children, finally had to come first.

So, where do you stand on this? Was this the ultimate act of tough love, or was it too harsh? Let us know what you think.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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