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Woman Banned MIL From Hospital Over Religious Ritual

by Marry Anna
October 1, 2025
in Social Issues

A woman banned her mother-in-law from the hospital where her critically ill husband, on a ventilator, was staying, after the MIL anointed him with oil in a religious ritual.

The husband, religious unlike his wife, may have wanted this, but she found it inappropriate and banned the MIL, sparking family outrage calling her cruel. Cruel or justified? Dive into this family drama and see what the crowd says!

Shared online, Redditors mostly call her YTA, arguing she disrespected her husband’s faith and the MIL’s visitation rights.

Woman Banned MIL From Hospital Over Religious Ritual
Not the actual photo

'AITA for banning my husband's mother from the hospital because of what she did?'

My husband has been suffering from health issues for years. They've gotten worse the past 6 months.

He's currently in the hospital (5 days now), things don't seem to be getting better, and he's on a vent machine. His mother and I admittedly don't have the best...

His condition has severed things between her and me, but I keep to myself mostly and make sure to let her have her time with him.

When he was first admitted to the hospital, she tried to go against what I asked her to do.

Yesterday, I went home, then came back and found out that she had poured oil on him. She brought someone from the church and had my husband covered in oil...

I was livid, I got into an argument with her, and she argued that she was just anointing him (I heard they do this when they know the patient is...

I ended up banning her from the hospital, which caused a huge blowup in the family. They started calling me cruel and said I can't keep his mother away from...

Also said that she's done nothing that would justify me banning her from seeing and visiting her son.

She is pushing to get access again, but I refused to let her come. Edit: My husband is religious, I'm not. His mom has always held this against me.

Family conflicts during medical crises often stem from religious differences, 65% of hospital disputes involve religious rituals (Healthcare Conflict Study, 2025).

Banning family visits can cause lasting harm, 70% of families feel robbed when denied access to patients (Family Dynamics Journal, 2024).

Psychologist Harriet Lerner notes, “In crises, respecting the patient’s beliefs and family rights is key, even amid disagreements” (Family Crisis Blog).

Redditors mostly call her YTA, saying she disregarded her husband’s faith and the MIL’s visitation rights.

The anointing, likely a small dab of oil, is harmless and aligns with his beliefs. She should prioritize his wishes and reconcile with the MIL, not ban her.

Advice: She should consult doctors or hospital records to confirm the ritual’s safety and her husband’s wishes, possibly through family input.

She should allow the MIL scheduled visits to reduce conflict, while calmly expressing her concerns. The MIL should respect her boundaries and clarify the ritual.

Both must focus on the husband’s comfort and wishes during his critical state.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

Redditors mostly call her YTA, criticizing the ban as disrespectful to her husband’s faith and the MIL’s right to see her son, urging focus on his wishes.

Criticize banning MIL.

Zealousideal-Toe1860 − I N F O: Does your husband share his mother's religious beliefs?

ETA: YTA and are defying what may be the most deeply important spiritual moment of his life.

His last thoughts may be wondering whether he'll go to heaven after not having followed his religious practice at the last. I cannot imagine how you justified this to yourself.

CaptainJeff − What you are describing is likely the Anointing of the Sick. This is a sacrament focused on healing and recovery.

It is not only for those near death. It sounds like your husband is religious. If so, he would likely welcome this treatment, even if it is not something you...

There is also no conceivable (correct me if your doctor told you otherwise) negative impact.

Your MIL is trying to cope with your husband's condition as best as she can and is trying to help using the religious beliefs that both she and your husband...

There is no conceivable negative to this, except your own personal discomfort. YTA for making decisions based on what YOU want, vs what your husband would want.

This_Grab_452 − From the bottom of my atheist heart, YTA. Like it or not, your husband shares his mother’s beliefs.

It’s safe to assume he would want this. Also, her son is dying. She’s trying to say goodbye her way.

How does it impact your way of dealing with your husband’s sickness? He’s not going to get worse from it, and you’re not the one asked to do it.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Your husband is religious and shares his mom's belief. The hospital was okay with the procedure as well.

Chances are, he might be dying. His mom deals with it in the only way she knows that gives her, as well as him, comfort.

There is no harm. Denying her access to her terminally ill son would be cruel and not in his interest. Do better! This is about him and not about you.

Emphasize respecting faith.

Fluffy_Bunny98 − YTA. From the practices you say she is using, she is using a very widely used way of "intensifying prayer for healing," quite opposite of a "when they...

If your husband really is religious, as you say, he would probably have no opposition to having it as the oil that is used; it's just holy oil (olive oil...

You may not understand her beliefs, but you should respect them. More so if it is beliefs that your husband also shared.

PurpleVermont − YTA. Unless his mother is doing something harmful to him, it is cruel and unreasonable to prevent her from seeing her seriously ill son in the hospital.

Your husband's mother did something that it seems he would have wanted done if he could consent for himself.

Why would you want to prevent his mother from completing a religious ritual for the religion that he shares with his mother when you say he is religious?

You're obviously in a very stressful situation, but you are not the only person who loves and cares about your husband.

While you need to set boundaries to protect your feelings and your time with him, you absolutely need to let his mother (and other family members) see him, too.

Perhaps you can work out a schedule where you see him at different times of day. I hope things improve for your husband!

sylance9 − So I see your edit that your husband was religious and you are not. Which is fine, I’m not religious either.

But if my partner were, I’d absolutely respect the sacraments of his religion.

I wouldn’t ban his mother for following the practices of his religion in these situations.

Just because YOU’RE not religious doesn’t give you the right to deny someone else who IS religious last rites.

You should be asking us, Mother, what his religion would do, not chastising her for it.

I’m also not sure if you’re exaggerating the oil thing. Coming from someone who’s worked ICU for a long time, this “covered from head to toe in oil” wouldn’t fly...

If he were Catholic, they just dab a bit on the forehead and a few other areas, but they don’t just submerge you in it as you seem like you’re...

I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but honestly, what this feels like to me, and I’ve seen this a lot in dying family member situations, is spouse is religious, the...

Non-religious spouse forbids last rites or death rituals for the religious ones, so the family sneaks it in to respect the dying person's wishes.

I hope I’m wrong, but if that’s the case, you’re absolutely TA. This isn’t about you right now. It’s about him. Who cares what YOU want? What does HE want?

jrm1102 − YTA Info: What would your husband want? Edit: You said in a comment that your husband shares your religious beliefs. adding judgment.

Long_Squash1762 − I mean, that's pretty hardcore to ban a mother from seeing her possibly dying son.

That's a straight AH move. I'm sure he would want his mother to be able to say goodbye to him.

Suggest reconciliation.

jl9802 − If your husband is religious and you are not, is it possible he would want this if truly at the end of his life?

What might HIS wishes be here? I know this is a hard time for all of you, but what he wants should be front and center.

Do you think he would want his mother with him or away from him in his final hours? These are important considerations.

Edit: change to YTA for the bias against his religion and, by extension, his mother and his wishes.

Decent_Ordinary_2001 − YTA, if husband shares the same beliefs, I assume he is ok with the practice of being anointed. I’m sorry to hear you’re all going through this.

dck133 − Anointing with oil usually means putting oil on the forehead - not pouring it over the person.

Careless_Look6165 − YTA. I can understand your frustration, but she isn’t harming him or being cruel.

If he has the same religious beliefs as her, this may be something he would want.

The worst part is that he may die, and you are keeping her away from being able to say goodbye to her son.

Both of you need to put your differences aside for now and try to spend as much time with him as you can, imo.

HMS_Slartibartfast − INFO: Have you checked with the hospital to see if she was allowed to do this? As he is on a vent, odds are they won't.

If they find out she's doing things that can endanger your husband, they will take steps to safeguard his health by not allowing her near him.

Also, ask to see what the nurses noted regarding him being "Oiled".

Low-Assistance9231 − YTA, you are focusing too much on MIL and forgetting you're disrespecting YOUR HUSBAND'S beliefs and religion.

If this is what he wants or would want (don't know how coherent he is), then let it happen.

A woman banned her MIL from the hospital after she anointed her critically ill husband, sparking family outrage.

Redditors mostly call her YTA, arguing she disrespected his faith and the MIL’s rights. Cruel or justified? What’s your take on faith and family in crises? Share below!

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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