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A Mom Discovers Her “Broke” Ex Earns $200k After Five Years of Ghosting

by Charles Butler
December 30, 2025
in Social Issues

Life has a funny way of bringing people back together when we least expect it. Sometimes, these reunions happen at a coffee shop or a park. But for one hardworking mother, it happened right in the middle of her workday at a car dealership. Imagine standing at your desk only to see the man who walked out on you five years ago strolling in with a new life.

It is the kind of moment that makes your heart skip a beat and your mind race with questions. After years of struggling as a single parent, this mother finally had a chance to ask for the support her daughter deserved. What followed was a messy battle of hidden bank accounts and hollow excuses. Now, she is wondering if she went too far by giving him a piece of her mind when the checks didn’t arrive.

The Story

A Mom Discovers Her “Broke” Ex Earns $200k After Five Years of Ghosting
Not the actual photo

AITA for being mean to my ex about child support?

AITA for being mean to my ex for not making his full child support payments on time? I got pregnant

at 28 with my daughter and her dad ghosted me and ignored every call and text I ever sent. I made

an honest effort to track him down so that he could know his daughter and for her to know her father.

I even contacted his relatives and was also ignored. I finally gave up after about 3 years because I was

a single parent and just needed to move on. Fast forward to her being 5 years old and starting to

ask questions on why everyone else has a dad but not her. It was hard for me to answer because I

didn’t want to stain her mind just incase he starts coming around.I feel father daughter relationships are important and my

opinion of him was not hers. I told her he’s working far away and I had lost contact with him. I

met my now husband who has 2 boys shortly after she turned 5. We are happy and things are great. The

5 year struggles my daughter and I had are finally behind us. A year later I was working at a dealership

and guess who walks in? Yup her deadbeat dad. But not just him. He was with a woman and a little

girl and a baby in tow. I didn’t want to make a scene at my work so I made sure he

didn’t see me but when he left I went to the sales associate they we’re talking to. I explained the situation

and he was more then happy to pass along the number he gave them. I wanted to talk to my husband

to see if I should just let it go or try to pursue some child support. We both agreed that is

it the right of the child to have that support and would give her a better quality of life. So I

sent him a message saying who I was. And that it’s time he starts to contribute to our daughter and we

could work something out together without going to court (lawyers are expensive) he agreed but wanted a paternity test. I

understand that and agreed told him to set it up. He mentioned he doesn’t make a lot of money and wouldn’t

be able to afford much. But a little is better then nothing.. Then I was ghosted again. A couple years

and some court hearings and finally he was paying child support. I didn’t go after back support cause I realize

he has another family. Mr I don’t make much has actually been earning $200 000 a year the whole time. Judge

ordered him to pay cs based on his yearly earnings and back support for the 2 years he wasted the courts

time when he should have been paying. He wasn’t happy about that. But imo it’s his own mess. Now he’s

never paid on time or in full and has an excuse every time. I’ve had enough and gave him a

piece of my mind and I didn’t hold back. He says I’m an a__hole because I don’t know or care

about his situation. It’s very easy for someone to make me feel guilty so now I’m wondering AITA?

Oh, friend, my heart truly goes out to this mom for having to carry that burden alone for so long. It is so difficult to explain to a five-year-old why a father is absent. Choosing to protect her daughter’s heart by saying he was just “working far away” is such a selfless and beautiful gesture.

The pure shock of seeing him walk into her workplace must have felt like a movie scene. It is even more frustrating to learn that while she was struggling, he was earning a very comfortable six-figure income. Dealing with someone who tries to guilt-trip you after hiding that kind of wealth is incredibly draining. It feels very understandable that her patience finally ran out after all those years of broken promises.

Expert Opinion

In the world of family dynamics, this situation is often seen as a significant breach of trust that impacts the entire family unit. When a parent hides their true financial status, it creates an atmosphere of “financial infidelity.” This can leave the other parent feeling deeply betrayed and defensive of their child’s future stability.

Psychologists often note that people who avoid their responsibilities for a long time might develop a “victim mentality” when they are finally held accountable. According to a report by Psychology Today, individuals sometimes use guilt as a tool to distract from their own mistakes. By calling her “mean,” he is attempting to shift the focus from his late payments to her emotional reaction.

Research from the Gottman Institute suggests that fair play is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, even after a breakup. When one party ignores a court order, it disrupts the “sense of fairness” that a child needs to see from their parents. A father’s presence is more than just a check, but that check represents a legal and moral commitment to the child’s well-being.

Expert insight from Psych Central suggests that “being mean” in these cases is often just a person reaching their emotional limit. It is a protective response rather than an act of malice. This mom is likely experiencing “compassion fatigue” after years of trying to be the bigger person for her daughter’s sake.

Ultimately, the law exists to protect children because they cannot speak for themselves in these financial matters. While it might feel harsh to speak up, it is a necessary part of advocacy. Holding an ex accountable is an act of love for the child, even if it creates a temporary stir in the adult relationships.

Community Opinions

The online community quickly gathered around this mother to offer a big helping of support and some practical legal tips.

Many people believe that relying on the court system for automatic payments is the best path forward.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I wouldn't bother calling him again. Instead, notify the authorities when he doesn't pay on time.

They'll garnish his wages so that you never have to worry about payments being late again.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Get his payments done through the court, directly out of his paycheck.

It’s easy…tell a Judge he’s always late and payroll deduction will be ordered immediately.

Several commenters felt that the father was trying to flip the narrative through gaslighting.

DLCMotroni − LOL, he's totally gaslighting you. He hasn't known YOU for years or CARED about your (or his own daughters) situation.

He's a real peach. You had/have every right to receive child support... You've earned it.

SunMoonTruth − NTA. That guy is a deadbeat and the legal system doesn’t look kindly on it.

“His situation” is that he has a kid and has a legal obligation towards that kid.

The group generally agreed that the child’s right to a stable life comes before the dad’s comfort.

CakeisaDie − Child support is for the benefit of the child... His situation is his business.

Your business is making sure your child gets the maximum support that she should get.

judgy_mcjudgypants − NTA because child support is for the child, not to appease hurt feelings.

[Reddit User] − NTA. He says I’m an a__hole because I don’t know or care about his situation Really? His situation?

How about your situation, the fact that he ghosted you... How about the first 5 years of her life that he didn't contributed to?

There was a gentle reminder to let the lawyers do the heavy lifting from now on.

Ok-Profession-9372 − NTA but stop berating him and let your lawyer deal with it.

United-Manner20 − Refile an amendment asking for back pay based on his omission of assets and income...

Do not feel bad for him in a situation he created for himself.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you are dealing with a co-parent who is being difficult with support, remember that you do not have to handle the conflict alone. It is helpful to stop all verbal arguments and move all communication to email or a dedicated co-parenting app. This creates a clear trail of evidence for your legal team and helps keep the conversation professional.

Whenever you feel a wave of guilt, remind yourself that child support is not a gift for you. It belongs to your child for their education, health, and hobbies. Setting firm boundaries is not “being mean.” It is being a responsible protector. If payments continue to be an issue, contact your local child support enforcement office to ask for a wage garnishment to make the process stress-free for everyone.

Conclusion

This mother’s journey through a surprise encounter and a legal battle is a strong example of resilience. While it might be tempting to feel guilty, standing up for what is fair is an important part of parenting. No one should have to feel “mean” for asking a partner to follow the law and support their own child.

How would you have reacted if an ex walked into your job after years of ghosting? Would you have stayed calm or found it hard to hold back? We would love to hear how you navigate boundaries with difficult people in your own life!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 18/19 votes | 95%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 1/19 votes | 5%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/19 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/19 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/19 votes | 0%

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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