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A Mother Finds “Dirty Videos” in Her Husband’s YouTube History – and Blames Her Daughter’s Clothes

by Charles Butler
October 23, 2025
in Social Issues

Over breakfast, a young woman’s chat with her mom got weird fast. Her mom found inappropriate videos in her dad’s YouTube history and blamed her teenage brother.

When she realized it was Dad’s mistake, she flipped, scolding her daughter for wearing “shorts and no bra,” saying it might “tempt” her brother.

Stunned, the daughter pushed back, saying she should feel comfortable at home. The mix-up turned into a heated fight about body image and family rules.

Was she wrong to stand up for herself, or was Mom’s old-school view out of line? The breakfast table became a battleground.

A Mother Finds “Dirty Videos” in Her Husband’s YouTube History - and Blames Her Daughter’s Clothes
Not the actual photo

A Clothing Clash: Justified Stand or Family Faux Pas?

AITA my mom saw porn in dad's youtube history and asked me to choose my clothes better?

My parents aren't good with technology and find it difficult to do basic stuff on their phones.

They bought my younger brother (let's call him brandon) a phone recently and since they don't know anything about parental controls, my mom stays concerned about what he uses it...

Tbh, he's just a lot into games and music and not a lot else. This morning, my mom and I were having breakfast when she asked if Brandon's gmail is...

I said he might've used dad's phone to check his inbox or whatever, no biggie. Mom then said Brandon's been watching "dirty stuff" because she saw it in his youtube...

I rolled my eyes bc I know it's none of my business but I'd have to deal with it because it's a big deal for mom.

I checked if Brandon's gmail was logged into my dad's phone that she so confidently claimed, it wasn't. My dad just has the same profile picture for no apparent reason.

I said nothing for a while but she said she'll have to speak to my brother about this. This was when I decided to intervene. I told her she saw...

She was noticeably embarrassed. Called me in her room after a while and said I shouldn't walk around in short clothes or be braless around the house bc my brother's...

Speaking from how well I know my mom, arguing would've been no good. But I argued anyway "Now that's NOT on me.

I'll wear whatever I think is comfortable. I couldn't care less who's "growing up". AITA?

Edit: She just called me in again to tell me that my dad sleeps at 11:30 and that video was viewed at 1:30.

I had to tell her the "1:30" on the bottom left was the video's length and politely ask her to never bring this up again.

EDIT EDIT: Guys please stop calling my mom names :( She grew up in a traditional household so I sort of understand where she's coming from (she can be unreasonable...

but she's a very loving, kind woman. I love her a lot and I'm gutted reading all these comments calling her disgusting. :(

The Awkward Accusation

According to the daughter, her mom’s confusion began when she saw a 1-minute-and-30-second video in the YouTube history and jumped to conclusions.

She thought her son had been watching adult content on his dad’s phone. Once she realized it wasn’t his fault, instead of apologizing, she turned her frustration toward her daughter’s clothes.

The mom claimed that since the brother was “growing up,” the daughter needed to be more “modest.” But to the daughter, that didn’t make sense.

Why should she feel uncomfortable in her own home just because of someone else’s assumptions? Her response, calm but firm, was that her outfit wasn’t inappropriate, and her mom was making a problem where there wasn’t one.

Standing Up for Herself

The daughter’s decision to push back came from a place of frustration. She wasn’t trying to disrespect her mother, but she felt blamed for something that had nothing to do with her. Her clothes were simply comfortable, not suggestive.

She also pointed out the double standard, no one was telling her brother to change how he dressed. Her mom’s focus seemed to fall entirely on her. It felt unfair, and the daughter wanted her mom to understand that this kind of thinking placed unnecessary shame on women.

Why the Mom Reacted That Way

It’s easy to see where the tension came from. The mom grew up with more traditional values and may not have realized how her words sounded. Her embarrassment over the YouTube mistake likely added to her emotional reaction.

Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner explains that parents sometimes deflect guilt or shame by finding someone else to blame.

“When discomfort or embarrassment arises, it’s common to redirect those feelings toward the nearest target,” she says. “Open communication helps stop that pattern before it becomes hurtful.”

In this case, the mom’s quick deflection toward her daughter’s clothing was less about modesty and more about her own discomfort.

The Bigger Issue: Clothing and Control

This story highlights a bigger problem that many families face, the idea that a woman’s clothing can be blamed for other people’s reactions.

A 2023 Journal of Family Issues study found that more than half of women experience criticism from family members about what they wear at home. These attitudes often come from outdated beliefs about modesty and control.

In this situation, the daughter’s outfit wasn’t the real issue. The deeper problem was how quickly her mom connected her comfort to something inappropriate. Instead of addressing her husband’s mistake, she projected her embarrassment onto her daughter.

A Step Toward Understanding

If the mom and daughter want to move forward, calm and honest conversation is key. The daughter can explain that feeling comfortable at home doesn’t mean she’s being disrespectful. She can also remind her mom that her brother’s development isn’t her responsibility.

At the same time, the mom might need reassurance that her daughter isn’t rebelling, she’s just standing up for her right to feel at ease in her own home. Setting boundaries while keeping the conversation kind could help both of them feel heard.

When Blame Misses the Mark

This family drama shows how easy it is for blame to land in the wrong place. The mom’s embarrassment over a YouTube mistake spiraled into a hurtful accusation.

In the end, she wasn’t asking for much. She just wanted to eat breakfast in peace, wear what made her comfortable, and not be treated like she did something wrong.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many online commenters sided with the daughter. They believed her mom’s reaction was misplaced and unfair.

seagem26 − NTA your mother is sexualizing your relationship with your brother, or at least the way he sees you, which,

major ew this is also a case of teaching girls to cover up vs teaching boys to respect and not ogle girls, either way you’re in the clear

KnightButAWhiteOne − NTA. I seriously doubt that your brother would be attracted to you regardless of what you wear. I hope at least. Shame on your parents for having that...

aPenguinGirl − NTA wtf does your clothing around your brother have to do with your dad watching porn?

That question aside, your brother should be able to deal with women/girls (especially his sister) wearing revealing clothing.

Hell, maybe seeing you in it, someone he has no attraction to (hopefully), will help to desensitize him to getting all weird around his female classmates in revealing clothing.

Others felt that parents should focus on teaching respect rather than blaming women for how they dress.

bamboodle21 − NTA, it's pretty disgusting that your mother has somehow placed the blame on you in this situation. If she has a problem with the porn then she can...

If she thinks your brother is attracted to you, she should absolutely be working to protect you in this situation, but methinks she's more insecure

about her husband looking at porn and is taking it out on you as a young woman. You should be allowed to wear whatever you feel comfortable in in your...

roseteacakes − NTA. Your brother shouldn’t be attracted to you even if you walked around n__ed. What your mother said is disgusting and I’m sorry.

StrawberryFriend5 − NTA. Thats just. .. disgusting? ?? Your brother shouldn't even be thinking ANY kind of s__ual thoughts about you in the first place.

Your mom is awful for putting the blame on you and throwing your brother under the bus as a "young s__ driven boy"

while collectively ignoring that it was your dad watching porn. Good on you for standing your ground, your mom sucks here.

Some shared their own experiences with similar situations, being told what to wear around family members or feeling shamed for simply being comfortable. 

Small-Dragonfruit − When are we going to start teaching men to respect women's bodies instead of teaching women to cover themselves?

Coming from OP's mom is even worse, please don't carry on this mentality.

[Reddit User] − Porn on YouTube??

MamaBear404 − You're NTA. Honestly I dont think it even deserves an explanation.

Your mom sounds incredibly old fashioned (not meant to be an insult) and was probably taught to cover up instead of demand respect. Times have changed and I'm glad you...

takahe − I feel for you. My mum said disgusting things like this when I was a teenager and started growing boobs.

It still makes me feel shameful and dirty to think of it. My body is not a s__ual object regardless of what my mum wanted to think. The same goes...

A Lesson Beyond the Outfit

Every family faces awkward moments, but this one hit a nerve. The daughter’s choice to speak up might have felt uncomfortable in the moment, but it also showed courage.

Sometimes, standing up for yourself means breaking old patterns. And while it may take time for her mom to understand, one thing is clear, the daughter’s comfort in her own home shouldn’t be up for debate.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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