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A Roommate Mocked America for Being Fat, So Her American Roommate Called Out the Irony – Now She’s Silent.

by Charles Butler
September 26, 2025
in Social Issues

Moving to London promised new adventures for one 25-year-old American, but life with her British flatmate, B, quickly soured.

What started as casual conversation devolved into nightly lectures about America’s obesity problem, delivered with a tone of superiority, despite B herself carrying a few extra pounds.

Tensions reached a boiling point when the American finally snapped with a sharp “I’m thinner than you,” triggering a door-locking meltdown and a peace-offering beef stew that did little to smooth things over.

Was this a justified clapback or a cruel, personal jab? This tale of cultural clashes and flatmate drama has Reddit buzzing, offering a vivid look at how humor, critique, and sensitivity collide in shared spaces.

A Roommate Mocked America for Being Fat, So Her American Roommate Called Out the Irony - Now She’s Silent.

With a silent treatment and a simmering stew at play, let’s unpack this flatmate feud!

'AITA for ‘fat shaming’ my roommate because she wouldnt stop talking about how fat America is?'

I (25f) am an American who has been living in London for about six months now. My roommate B (23f) has been nice for the most part, and I’ve even...

To clarify, I don't think America is above criticism, and I have no problem shooting s**t from time to time. When I first met her I would laugh along, and...

However, it’s become too frequent, and as time has gone on, I’ve started to notice an obnoxious air of superiority every time she does this, which really makes me feel...

She’ll even refuse to believe me if I correct her when she says something untrue (i.e., when she said, “Americans are all so stupid because all of your tests are...

and I told her that wasn't true, she insisted the schools I went to must be different from most schools in America). I’ve tried to go along with it, as...

All of my frustrations came to a head last night when she started talking about how disgusting it was that America is so fat (a topic I’ve heard her talk...

I was in a bad mood, I still tried my best to ignore her, but she just kept going. I’ve always had to bite my tongue when she talks about...

I finally snapped and stopped biting my tongue and said, “Don’t you think this is a little ironic?” she gave me a confused look and asked why she would think...

to which I replied “Well I’m an American, and I’m a lot thinner than you. This conversation would make more sense if you were the thin one.”

She absolutely exploded and told me I had no right to make comments about her body. After that she locked herself up in her room, and now she refuses to...

I made some beef stew for dinner tonight as a peace offering, but she still won't acknowledge my presence. I do feel bad about hurting her feelings, but I also...

The Transatlantic Tiff

Six months into sharing a flat in London, the American had grown used to some cultural ribbing, but B’s relentless anti-American commentary crossed a line.

Night after night, B derided the U.S., especially fixating on obesity, often dismissing corrections about myths and generalizations. For the American, these critiques were exhausting, particularly given B’s own weight and the smug, self-satisfied delivery.

When frustration collided with B’s unrelenting commentary, the “I’m thinner than you” retort came out sharp and unfiltered, sparking a full-blown meltdown: B locked herself away, refusing to answer, while the stew peace offering sat ignored.

From the American’s perspective, the response felt fair. Being lectured constantly while the flatmate ignored nuance and displayed hypocrisy made a pointed retort almost unavoidable.

Yet, B experienced it as a personal body-shaming attack, with her silent treatment underscoring how deeply hurt she felt.

The clash illustrates a broader issue in shared living spaces: cultural stereotyping, combined with personal insecurities, can quickly escalate minor disputes into significant tension.

A 2024 study in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology found that 57% of international roommates report conflict stemming from cultural misunderstandings and stereotypes.

Meanwhile, the 2025 WHO report shows the UK’s adult obesity rate at 28% (WHO.int), highlighting how selective scrutiny can appear hypocritical.

Expert Insight and Possible Solutions
Psychologist Dr. Susan Heitler advises, “Defuse roommate conflicts by addressing behavior, not traits, call out the words, not the person”.

The American could have redirected the conversation with a neutral boundary, such as, “Your America jabs are getting old, can we switch topics?”

Instead of escalating to a personal comment, this approach could have preserved civility while signaling discomfort. B, for her part, could examine why her critiques focus disproportionately on the U.S., as internalized bias can exacerbate tensions.

A follow-up discussion, perhaps over the ignored beef stew, acknowledging hurt feelings, “I snapped, but your comments were frustrating”, might allow both to reset boundaries and reduce lingering resentment.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many sided with the American, understanding the frustration of enduring constant lectures, while others sympathized with B, noting that weight comments can hit hard. 

GodofYore − I had a friend EXACTLY like this. She was from New Zealand and every time we were together in NYC, she would talk s**t about Americans being fat,...

One time I snapped and said, "You realize everyone in my family is fat, right? You're insulting me to my face.

"Her response was to stare at me in bewilderment and say that she didn't mean _me_, she meant all the _other_ fat Americans. Oh, OK. So, still the rest of...

Her father had the biggest g**damn beer belly I've ever seen. He was the Kiwi version of Santa Claus. We're not friends anymore.

There are plenty of valid reasons to talk s**t about America/Americans, but if you talk s**t about people who did nothing to you personally? You deserve it. NTA.

Tazilyna-Taxaro − Well. "Britain has one of the worst obesity rates in Europe."

What you said was obviously mean but also really funny from an European perspective. The irony is so strong because most EU members considered UK to be kinda arrogant and...

SnooBunnies7461 − NTA only because she started the entire thing. Doesn't she realize that the America you see on tv and in the media isn't always correct?

That would be like you going on and on about how terrible dental health is in the UK. Are there people with horrible teeth in the UK? Yes. Everyone? No....

Girl needs to stick to what she has seen first hand and shut her mouth about the rest.

Commenters broadly highlighted a recurring theme: cultural misunderstandings and misaligned communication often escalate minor grievances into heated conflicts.

YouthNAsia63 − She isn’t talking to you? Enjoy the break from the systematic and continuous insults. While it lasts, these silences never last.

NTA And, because I am a petty, petty person, I would change whatever benign ringtone she may have had on my phone, to Weird Al’s version of Michael Jackson’s iconic...

More specifically, when Weird Al substitutes the line of “Who’s bad”, to “Who’s fat?!”. Your roommate may never even notice. But I bet it will make you smile every single...

Voidfishie − It's bloody rich for any British person to be chatting that much s**t when our own country is a f**king shambles.

I really am not a fan of ever making comments about someone's weight, but she was the one who brought in fat shaming, you just pointed out the irony. NTA.

heyimbellaboo − NTA you never fat shamed her you just pointed out that it's ironic since you as an american are thinner than her. She took it too far and...

Uber_4_yuh − NTA, don't dish out what you can't take. She was constantly making jokes and jibes at your expense. What did she expect?

Nomadic_Homebody − NTA Your fat roommate was being rude and hypocritical. It would have been nice if you also mentioned attacking fat people was irrelevant and mean.

She was making your living situation hostile. You called her out, and didn’t drag her. You weren’t an a**hole.

Targeting fat people is just cruel. Fat people are literally just trying to exist; they aren’t inherently bad, stupid, or lazy.

That stereotype needs to die. There are so many valid critiques of the America (that fit perfectly on Britain too): g**ocide, slavery, colonialism, racism, sexism, ableism, classism, etc.

(Knowing there are valid reasons to criticize America, but targeting fatness is just plain stupid and evil.)

Since many critiques of the US fit so perfectly for Britain (as well as these other western-colonial countries), they really need to pipe down.

I think the “fatness” part allows them to differentiate (at least in theory), but being fat isn’t the same as evil or cruel. It’s literally just a state of being.

Any negatives with fatness should be associated as symptoms of a more severe issue. Edit: one person called me out for saying your fat roommate, followed up by saying it’s...

Being fat isn’t an insult. It’s just a state of being. For years people were taught the word fat is bad (or synonymous with bad things like ugliness and laziness).

In recent years many have tried to reclaim the word to strip away the negative moral designation.

It’s also important to realize even members of a discriminated community can harbor a lot of internalized hate (which appears to be the case here).

Meaning, I mentioned her fatness to draw attention to that internalized h**red her roommate needs to work through rather than make their living situation uncomfortable.

When the roommate targeted others while projecting her own insecurities, pointing out her hypocrisy was simply a way for them to stand up for themselves

uradumbitch − NTA. America's heath issues regarding weight gain is hugely because of a class divide where healthy foods are more expensive

and unhealthy foods are cheaper and more convenient for people who are working multiple jobs to stay afloat. She's not really making fun of America.

She is making fun of the people who are the most vulnerable under America's terrible system.

I'm not even American and I get annoyed with American hate coming from Europe. Especially the English, French and Germans.

SheiB123 − NTA. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. She wants to talk trash about others but doesn't like it when it comes back on her.

DO NOT APOLOGIZE. Let her be mad. She is mad because you told her the truth and she didn't like it. Good job!

Are these verdicts dishing out clarity or just adding fuel to the flatmate fire?

This clash of roommates across the Atlantic illustrates the extent to which cultural critique and personal jabs could devolve into outright conflict. Was the American’s weight-related response an appropriated call-out or simply a cheap shot?

Was B’s commentary something she could have toned down, or was it simply nothing to do at that point? And, most importantly, what is a roommate’s responsibility to establish boundaries for playful joking or teasing?

This scenario begs to ask one question of anyone who has ever had to share a living spac

 

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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