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A Woman Refused To Eat Food After The Meal Was Eaten Without Her

by Sunny Nguyen
July 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Picture a cozy home decked with balloons and the smell of a favorite meal filling every room. A young adult stood in the kitchen, carefully arranging dishes they had cooked to celebrate their father’s long-awaited return. Every detail mattered, right down to the special pastry they drove across town to buy.

But when they walked back in the door, arms full of the treat they knew would make the night complete, all they saw were empty plates and crumbs. The family had devoured everything without waiting. In that moment, their excitement collapsed into a hollow ache.

They refused to eat a single bite, even as their mother pleaded. Some called it a childish sulk. Others saw it as a quiet stand for the respect they deserved. The evening that should have been filled with warmth ended in a cold silence, each side nursing their own hurt.

A Woman Refused To Eat Food After The Meal Was Eaten Without Her

This Redditor’s tale is a rollercoaster of good intentions and family oversights! Here’s the original post:

Aita For Refusing To Eat Food After The Meal Was Eaten Without Me?

Hey everyone. Throwaway account here because I’m pretty sure the people involved in this story know my main. Recently, my father returned home from overseas after spending several years away and the whole family, extended included, got together to throw a party to celebrate his return.

Clean up the house, put up decorations, cook a banquet, the works. I myself took some time off to drive around town to get the supplies, blow up balloons, hang decorations and even assisted my mother in the preparations for cooking.

Among the dishes my mother was making was a rather special one for me as I have good memories of eating it with my dad, so I was pretty excited to eat it alongside everyone else.

Problem is, the day my dad landed at the airport, myself and a few others were supposed to go and get him but at the last second, we all remembered that my dad adored a certain pastry that’s only made by a bakery across the city.

Wanting to make the day perfect, I volunteered to go and grab it even though it’d probably take an hour-and-a-half. Well, through a series of misfortunes, it ended up taking several hours to get there and by then the store was closed.

Thankfully, we knew the owners and I called and begged him to open, which he did, so I was able to obtain the pastry. I called home and told everyone that I’d gotten it and to wait until I got back so we could all eat together.

When I got home, I found the food was over, with everyone having drinks. Unfortunately, the food I’d been wanting to eat alongside my father had been eaten by everyone else. My mother had saved me a minute portion of the meal however.

After the heartwarming reunion with my dad and while catching up with him, my mother offered me the food she’d saved but I refused it and claimed I wasn’t hungry. For the life of me, I just didn’t want a single bite of any of the food that had been prepared.

Instead, I just gave the pastry to my dad as a surprise and refused to take a bite of that either. Overall, it was still a great time, except for my mother constantly asking and eventually begging me to at least have one or two bites, with everyone else also asking me to eat.

My mother privately confided in me that she understood I was peeved but she’d spent so long making it and if me, her only child, wasn’t eating it, she’d feel like she’d done all that hard work for nothing, even if everyone else had eaten.

I told her that I wasn’t mad at all and that I just wasn’t hungry. To be honest, I’m pretty sure that was just b**lshit to guilt me into eating. I wouldn’t take a single bite of that food, or anything else really, for the rest of the day.

I suppose I was angry at everyone having been thoughtless enough to have started eating without me even when I’d asked them not to. Instead, I just let my displeasure be felt and not heard.. Am I the a**hole? EDIT: I should clarify that the food was to be eaten at dinner.

I left at 4 and got back by 8, while dinner is usually around 7-7:30. My dad got home at 5 and everyone had snacks. At 6:30 I called and told them I’d gotten the pastry and told them to wait until I got back cause Dinner would’ve been served in 30 minutes, and they all gave their assent.

A Celebration Derailed

This Redditor’s plans had been set for days. They cleaned the house, hung decorations, and prepared a meal full of nostalgia for their father’s homecoming. As the hour drew near, they left on a short errand to pick up his favorite pastry, hoping it would be the perfect final touch.

But a series of delays turned their quick trip into an hours-long journey across town. Still, at 6:30 p.m., they called home and asked the family to wait just thirty more minutes before starting dinner. It seemed like a small request, especially since everyone knew the meal had been planned for 7 or later.

By the time they returned, the table was bare. Only a small portion remained, saved almost like an afterthought. When they asked why no one waited, their mother shrugged that everyone was too hungry and excited to hold off. The Redditor felt invisible, as if all their care and effort had meant nothing.

A Silent Rebellion

Their refusal to eat anything became the only way to express just how hurt they were. To them, it was never about the food. It was about feeling erased from their own celebration.

As relationship expert Dr. John Gottman has said, “Small moments of acknowledgment build trust in families” (Gottman Institute). In this house, that trust cracked under the weight of thoughtlessness.

Their mother tried to coax them to the table, insisting that everyone had appreciated the meal and that leaving food behind had been an attempt to be considerate. But the insistence that they join in anyway felt like a demand to pretend nothing had happened.

Instead, they put the pastry away, closed their bedroom door, and decided that no meal was worth pretending to feel included when they did not.

Reddit’s serving up takes spicier than a banquet buffet! Check out the community’s hot opinions below:

Here's how people reacted to the post:

Many thought the Redditor’s sulking turned a joyful homecoming into a personal pity party, accusing them of being petty, self-centered, and unfairly making the day all about their feelings instead of celebrating their dad.

madeofstarlight − YTA. You’re making your dad’s homecoming about you. It was noticeable and likely awkward if everyone noticed and spoke to you. There’s no reason you couldn’t have eaten while sitting by your dad.

Comfortable_Stop_717 − YTA. You were being petty. By your own words it took you several hours to get there and then you had to call the owners. Was your family supposed to wait several hours to eat? Sounds like you were being a drama queen.

Dylaquill − YTA. Your dad just came back from overseas and you wanted him to wait just for you to come back so he can eat? This day was supposed to be more about your celebrating your father coming home and less about you.

Super childish to refuse to eat out of spite and probably ruining the mood for everyone there just because you didn’t get your way.

Most commenters agreed the Redditor was selfish and petty for making the homecoming about themselves instead of celebrating their dad.

chlorenchyma − YTA. You took *hours* to do a task that should have taken half an hour. You expected everyone to sit there hungry, while the food got cold, because you had a bad idea and didn't bother to find out this businesses hours beforehand?

AbbyBirb − nah: for what’s in your post... But YTA for your comment. “You couldn’t wait an hour or so for me to get back so we could all eat together as a family, something we haven’t done in years?

Fine, to hell with you and the food that I HELPED MAKE by the way, I don’t f**king want it, eat it yourself, or throw it out” The post: it seems like a series of unfortunate events happened to make you too late to have supper with the family. This does happen.

Sometimes things do not work out like you want them to. You volunteered to leave and get the pastry... and unfortunately things happened. The family was also all together with prepared foods... it is kind of foolish for them to wait an hour or two for you to get there and ruin the meal for it.

It was acceptable for your mom to save you a dish. Nothing AH ish about any of that. I can understand you being disappointed, but sometimes disappointment happens. Then your comment: You went from being reasonably disappointed to nuclear entitled.

aamfbta − YTA You knew that the celebration was about to take place and you TOOK HOURS just to get one pastry? You wanted the food to go cold and for everyone to be hungry while you were called away due to your own poor prioritization? No one is obligated to put their party or lives on hold for you.

If you felt having the pastry for your dad that evening as opposed to at another time was THAT important, then that's *your choice* but it means that eating and being there for your dad upon his arrival came second to a pastry.

Even when you started running into blockers and time was dragging on, you chose to push onwards instead of turning around. **You made it the choice, now deal with it. ** You are clearly old enough not to be, but you sound like an entitled little baby in this post.

​ Edit: Whichever one of you reported me to reddit cares - you're fucked up. That is not an appropriate response to disagreeing with someone's opinion.

Meanwhile, others felt the Redditor’s reaction went too far, arguing that refusing to eat turned an already disappointing evening into an unnecessary standoff.

[Reddit User] − This is what is referred to as cutting off your nose to spite your face. You were several *hours* late and expected everyone (your dad included!) to wait to eat. Your mom was nice enough to make sure to save you a portion and you refused out of pure spite. Who benefitted from that? Certainly not you. You ruined your own mood. YTA, but mostly to yourself.

eloel- − Not AH for not eating food, but YTA for doing it out of what seems like spite. Now what you set out to make a perfect day for your dad is shadowed by your behaviour. You should have at least shared the pastry with your dad like you initially intended.

Mission_Split_6053 − YTA - the guy was probably hungry after his flight, it’s unfortunate you were delayed and couldn’t eat together but not eating out of spite was just really petty.

While some commenters sympathized with the Redditor’s hurt feelings, many felt their decision to skip the meal crossed the line from emotional to impractical.

NoiseProvesNothing offered one of the most thoughtful takes, breaking down the chain of events and how they disrupted the entire dinner plan.

NoiseProvesNothing − I understand why you were upset. This was an extensively planned special day and you wanted to be a part of it. However... at the last second, we all remembered that my dad adored a certain pastry that’s only made by a bakery across the city.

Wanting to make the day perfect, I volunteered to go and grab it even though it’d probably take an hour-and-a-half. Well, through a series of misfortunes, it ended up taking several hours to get there and by then the store was closed.

Thankfully, we knew the owners and I called and begged him to open, which he did, so I was able to obtain the pastry. I called home and told everyone that I’d gotten it and to wait until I got back so we could all eat together. You introduced a last minute errand that would have taken 1. 5 hours round trip.

Because it meant that you couldn't pick your dad up at the airport, I'm assuming you set out for the pastry and the others set out for the airport. Presumably you'd have been home before the planned start time of the meal.

Big meals like that will have an approximate start time to allow the cooks to coordinate dish readiness and so that the hungry crowds know when it'll be time to eat.

It instead took you several hours just to get there (not 45 minutes) to find it closed and then call the owners, etc - another half hour? 45 minutes?. From your post, you called home probably 3. 5 hours after you left. You do not say if anyone told you they would wait the meal. Then you had to get home, another 45 minutes.

It seems that you were gone _at least_ 4 hours, not 1. 5 hours. That's 2. 5+ hours late. I'll bet that your Dad had arrived on schedule a couple of hours before you. You had the option at any point during the series of misfortunes to decide that the pastry would have to wait for another day.

Although you had a nice thought, what you were doing was not essential and your determination to follow it through made you late. It's very hard to push the start time of an elaborate meal back much without seriously affecting the food and frustrating all the guests who were there on time.

It's soul destroying for the chef to see all that effort compromised. The start time was most likely set to be 30-60 minutes after your Dad arrived. I think they'd already started eating when you called, as you were already 2 hours late by that time. YTA.

Being 2½ or 3 hours late was something you could have avoided. No banquet survives a last-minute delay of a couple of hours, and guests would have rioted. The only person you'd postpone the start time for is the guest of honor - your dad.

Are these comments pure wisdom or just Reddit’s dinner-table chatter? You be the judge!

That night became a lesson in how quickly good intentions can sour when respect is missing. Some might see their hunger strike as petty, a childish way to punish the family. Others might see it as a clear message: they were tired of always being the one who gave more than they received.

Was refusing to eat a silent tantrum, or a fair stand against being overlooked?

If you came home to find your family had eaten the feast you prepared, would you forgive quickly or hold your ground?

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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