A Young Woman Faces Backlash For Setting Financial Boundaries With Her Boyfriend - Is She Wrong?
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A Young Woman Faces Backlash for Setting Financial Boundaries with Her Boyfriend – Is She Wrong?

Charles Butler by Charles Butler
July 6, 2025
in Blog
Reading Time: 13 mins read
A Young Woman Faces Backlash for Setting Financial Boundaries with Her Boyfriend - Is She Wrong?

No one expected a 19-year-old to out-earn her boyfriend by thousands each week—least of all him. But when this Redditor quietly turned a side hustle into a serious income stream, the tables flipped fast. She kept it low-key, stayed modest, and stacked her savings. Until the day he asked how much she made.

   
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His response? Not pride, not support—just a demand for an allowance. Five grand. Monthly.

Now Reddit’s deep in the drama, and this isn’t just about cash. It’s about power, trust, and the price of success in a relationship that suddenly doesn’t feel so balanced anymore.

Want to know how it all unraveled? Let’s dig into the story that’s got everyone picking sides.

A Young Woman Faces Backlash for Setting Financial Boundaries with Her Boyfriend - Is She Wrong?

Keeping Her Savings from a Grabby Boyfriend!

'Aita I Don’t Want To Share My Money With My Partner?'

Edit : Thank you all so much for all the support, Advice and the kindness of you all. as for the boyfriend i’m gonna to set boundaries and tell him Get his s**t together or go. i’m going to talk to someone at my bank about investing and getting a place.

and getting a better savings account for only me, i won’t be giving him anything. i will keep saving.. i also have a backup plan.. Info , accounting is a sfw term for s** worker. I live with my nana she was my legal guardian from birth till 18. as well as my siblings and cousin.

she told me when i turned 18 she doesn’t want rent just to save and help her out. she’s financially responsible and helped me learn to save and do well in school. Iam super sorry for bad spelling. i was diagnosed with Autism and Dyspraxia at age 9 and have struggled alot with it. i have a learning disability. again thank you so much for the support. if there are any more questions just dm me. i’m trying to keep up with so many comments!. throw away for privacy.

I 19 female have been dating boyfriend 21 for three years. He has always made $800 a week. and i made $300 every two weeks. last year i started Spicy Accounting/s** worker . i now make 3k every week, 12k a month

i only spend 300 every week to keep up with food clothes and bills. I’am not living in luxury. i’m being smart with my money.. i have three separate savings accounts.

A Young Woman Faces Backlash for Setting Financial Boundaries with Her Boyfriend - Is She Wrong?

i never told him my financial situation as he always wanted to be richer then me to take care of me. i’m not flashy either i don’t look rich. he recently asked how much i get a year. i said between 144,000k and 149. he now wants an allowance and cash in hand. at-least 5k a month. i said no.

you don’t budget and you spend money on things u don’t need. i explained the savings account i have for him but now he’s calling me selfish

i know i make a-lot but this is so we can have a good home and have money for emergencies and help take care of a family one day..

please no hate but be honest AITA for not giving him money?? i know i make a lot but i want a good life and for him to not spend my money.

The Spark: When a Paycheck Breaks the Power Balance

At first, everything seemed steady. She earned modestly, he earned more, and the dynamic felt traditional, maybe even comforting. But once her side hustle soared and the digits in her bank account multiplied, the vibe shifted. Instead of celebrating her success, her boyfriend zeroed in on the numbers like they were his inheritance.

That’s when the trouble began. Learning she was making $12,000 a month, he didn’t ask how she was doing it. He didn’t ask how she was saving, or how they could grow together. He just asked for cash. Specifically, $5,000 a month. When she said no, he called her selfish. Not because she refused to help—but because he expected her to hand it over, no questions asked.

Why the Internet’s Calling Foul (And She Might Be Dodging a Bullet)

She didn’t just refuse him. She had receipts. Literally. Three savings accounts: one for herself, one for emergencies, and one she quietly set aside for him. A young woman with autism and dyspraxia, taught by her nana to be disciplined, generous, and smart with money. And yet, her boyfriend, who makes a steady $800 a week, still wanted more. Wanted hers.

Reddit was quick to weigh in. Comments ranged from concerned to furious. User MinsAino pointed to financial abuse red flags. IcameIsaw_Iwenthome warned that sharing money without legal protection is asking for trouble. And they’re not wrong. According to a 2024 report by the Financial Planning Association, most money-related conflicts in young relationships come down to entitlement and unclear boundaries.

Finance expert Dr. Ramit Sethi drives it home: “Money reveals power. If the balance shifts and one partner starts expecting instead of appreciating, you need to pause and reassess.”

This Redditor’s doing just that. She’s planning to invest, talk to her bank, and put her savings where only she can touch it. She’s not saying she’ll never share. She’s saying, earn trust first.

What’s your take—should she protect her fortune, or try one more time to get through to him?

Reddit’s popping off like a piggy bank under a hammer, with takes sharper than a tax audit!

Here's what Redditors had to say:

Reddit user MinsAino supports the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), warning that her boyfriend’s expectation of financial support at 19 is a major red flag, suggesting he may exploit her earnings if their relationship continues.

MinsAino − NTA But you are 19 do nnot plan a future with this man as soon as he cn he will start sponging off you. This is a huge red flag he is waving at you.

Purplelilac2017 firmly backs the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), expressing concern over the boyfriend’s shift from wanting to care for OP to demanding her money, advising her to keep finances separate, explore other relationships, and reconsider her savings plans for him.

purplelilac2017 − So you were 16 when you started dating a 19 yo that wanted to take care of you, until he found out how much you were making. Do not marry this man. Do not give him money other than what is due for your share of living expenses. I strongly advise you to date other people.

You don't have to break up with him, but you need to see what other relationships are like. In no way are you TA for choosing how to spend *your* money. I mean, you call him your partner but I don't see that you are even engaged. He's got you so spun up that you believe you are TA in this situation.

It makes me wonder what else is going on in your relationship. NTA And consider repurposing the money you have been saving for him. If he can't be grateful for what you are doing, he can get less.

Reddit user Z-Mtn-Man-3394 declares the original poster (OP) Not The Asshole (NTA), highlighting the absurdity of her boyfriend’s sudden demand for a $5,000 monthly allowance after claiming he’d support her, and questioning whether he even contributes financially.

Z-Mtn-Man-3394 − NTA. Gotta love the immediate shift from 'I want to take care of you' to 'gimme $5k a month!!!!!!! WTF. Does he even work?

IcameIsaw_Iwenthome supports the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), strongly advising against giving her boyfriend any financial allowances or shared assets, drawing from personal experience to emphasize the importance of maintaining separate finances to protect OP’s future.

IcameIsaw_Iwenthome − What??!?! NTA Why would you even entertain him getting an allowance, you shouldn’t even be thinking of setting up a savings account for him. You need to take care of yourself and family.

Believe me I put my ex on my mortgage and he is trying to go after half my shares and retirement fund (we’re early 30s). We were together 12 years. Do not make the same mistake as me. Keep all your finances seperate. Do not give him money.

Reddit user gatorfan8898 labels the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), questioning the boyfriend’s entitlement to an allowance while curiously noting OP’s high-earning accounting job at 19, suggesting her boyfriend seek similar opportunities instead.

gatorfan8898 − Obviously NTA. But uhh what's this 'accounting' job that you're trained at 19 and make nearly $150k starting out? Get your boyfriend on that s**t...

Eggie1975 backs the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), questioning whether OP truly wants a relationship with someone who expects an allowance from their girlfriend, implying his attitude reflects a lack of partnership.

eggie1975 − NTA , but do you really want to be with a man who thinks he deserves an allowance from his girlfriend?

Reddit user WPrepod supports the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), praising her financial acumen at a young age and urging her to invest in her own future, such as retirement accounts, rather than funding her boyfriend’s unreasonable expectation of an allowance.

WPrepod − NTA. You're young and obviously smart, you should put that money into accounts that set you up for the future (Roth IRA, Employer matched 401(k), etc). You don't owe him anything and it's ridiculous that he thinks he's entitled to an 'allowance'.

An anonymous commenter firmly advises the original poster (OP) to end her relationship, warning that her boyfriend is likely to squander her hard-earned money, reinforcing that she is Not The Asshole (NTA) for prioritizing her financial independence.

[Reddit User] − Girl, idc what you do for your money but you need to drop this guy. He’s just gonna burn thru your money... money YOU worked for.

Neverrrragain supports the original poster (OP) as Not The Asshole (NTA), arguing that her boyfriend’s demand for a $5,000 monthly allowance is excessive and urging OP to save her earnings for herself, especially given the potential for declining income in her profession.

neverrrragain − NTA. No one needs a 5k a month allowance, it doesn't take much more than that a month to run my entire household including mortgage, utilities, groceries, gas, and aftercare for my kid.

Save as much as you can right now because you are in a profession where your pay will go down with age and experience instead of up, you have no company 401k or health insurance.

It sounds like you are more fiscally responsible than I was at your age, keep doing what you are doing and don't give him your money because he will blow it all.

Reddit user Aggressive-Sample612 declares the original poster (OP) Not The Asshole (NTA), bluntly labeling her boyfriend as a leech for expecting financial support.

Aggressive-Sample612 − NTA. But girl, he’s a leech.

A Savings Standoff

In the end, this wasn’t just about money. It was about control, trust, and the quiet line between love and obligation. Her refusal to hand over $5,000 a month didn’t come from greed, it came from foresight, hard-earned wisdom, and the quiet voice of her nana echoing in the back of her mind: save for yourself first.

Some might say she’s drawing the line too sharply. Others would argue she’s dodging a financial time bomb. One thing’s clear, when someone sees your paycheck as their paycheck, it’s no longer a partnership, it’s a transaction.

So what now? Does she give him one last chance to step up, or keep the account closed—literally and emotionally? When love meets money, who owes what… and to whom?

Tell us where you stand, protect the purse or share the spoils? Let the debate begin.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

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