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After Ex Lies About Children’s Academics, She Wonders If She Should Seek Court-Enforced Communication Limits

by Annie Nguyen
June 23, 2026
in Social Issues

Even after a court ruling, unresolved tension can make co-parenting exhausting. A mother of two recently won a case regarding her children’s living arrangements, but her ex has continued sending alarming and manipulative messages. From falsely claiming their daughter is behind in school to accusing her of withholding medical information, his actions are causing stress and anxiety.

She is considering returning to court to limit communication strictly to a parenting app and critical child-related matters. While some advise ignoring him to avoid feeding into his tactics, she’s left wondering whether a legal intervention is necessary to protect her peace of mind and her children’s well-being.

Scroll down to see how ongoing manipulation is forcing a parent to weigh further legal action despite already having a victory in court.

A mother considers taking her ex back to court after he spreads false info about their kids

After Ex Lies About Children’s Academics, She Wonders If She Should Seek Court-Enforced Communication Limits
not the actual photo

'WIBTAH if I took my ex BACK to court even though I won our case?'

UPDATE IN COMMENTS I (27F) recently took my ex (27M) to court regarding a change of domicile for our children. The judge approved it.

That same night, around 10 p.m., he texted me claiming our daughter was being held back in school and was behind academically.

I contacted the school the next day because I was concerned I had somehow missed important communication.

The school told me the opposite.

They said she is ahead academically, attendance is not a concern, and she was invited to a limited-space summer program that requires a teacher recommendation.

When I asked where he got the information, he never answered and instead started asking questions about my boyfriend.

A few months earlier, he accused me of withholding information about our son’s medical appointments because I would not give him my patient portal login.

I explained that my account contains my own private medical information and that he could create his own account.

I had already sent him the information needed to do so multiple times.

Instead of setting up his own account, he called my mother and told her I was violating our court order and could go to jail

(I was not, he would be able to call the office and get assistance or get the information.

I called the office after to set up more verification for my account so I KNOW they were open while he called my mom)

As of our most recent court hearing, he still had not created his own portal account.

These are only the two most recent examples.

In the past, he has told me things like, “You’ll get the kids when you get them,” and “I’ll let you see them when I feel like it.”

He has also sent me a five-minute video threatening taking out a life insurance policy on himself,

while these threats have stopped- sometimes his messages can be triggering.

Over the past year, there has been an ongoing pattern of accusations, misinformation, and communication that I find stressful and unproductive.

I’m currently in therapy and trying to move forward.

These fake emergencies at weird times or to serve agendas, I can’t clearly see yet have been very common.

Because of this, I am considering filing a motion asking that all communication be restricted to our parenting app

and limited strictly to issues involving the children, and a grace period for non emergency messages.

Honestly, I kind of want him to sit in front of a judge and explain this behavior.

Especially lying about our children’s academic status. Some people think I should ignore it and not give him the reaction he wants. WIBTA?

Few experiences are more psychologically taxing than co-parenting with someone who consistently undermines trust and generates stress. While many parents navigate disagreements over schedules or school activities, repeated misinformation, accusations, and emotional manipulation cross from ordinary conflict into patterns that can be emotionally destabilizing and potentially harmful for both parent and child.

At the heart of this story is a pattern of behavior that goes beyond simple misunderstandings. The OP’s ex has repeatedly provided false information about the children’s academic and medical status, escalated minor issues into threats, and attempted to provoke reactions that serve his own agenda.

The OP has already won a legal case regarding a domicile change, yet the ex continues to use misinformation and pressure tactics to create confusion and conflict. The question is not whether the OP can win in court, she has, but whether taking additional legal action is justified to protect her mental health, maintain boundaries, and ensure the children’s well-being.

From another perspective, psychological research highlights how repeated false claims and manipulative behavior affect stress levels and decision-making. Experts note that parents who experience frequent, unnecessary crises from co-parents can develop chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, and impaired emotional regulation.

Limiting communication to structured, verifiable channels, like a parenting app, and restricting messages to necessary information reduces conflict, ensures clarity, and provides predictability, which benefits both parents and children.

This framework clarifies why the OP’s desire to return to court for enforcement is reasonable. She is not seeking retaliation or escalation for its own sake. She is attempting to create enforceable boundaries that protect her emotional health and establish clear expectations for communication.

Courts routinely grant motions for structured communication when one parent engages in misinformation or manipulation, recognizing that the goal is stability and clarity rather than punishment.

Experts in family law and psychology emphasize that structured communication reduces litigation over time and improves co-parenting outcomes, even when one parent initially fears provoking further conflict.

Ultimately, taking legal action in this context is an act of boundary-setting and protection. It ensures that future interactions are limited to relevant, verifiable information and reduces opportunities for emotional manipulation.

By prioritizing structured communication and enforceable rules, the OP is acting not out of vengeance but from a rational strategy to safeguard her mental health, protect the children, and prevent ongoing patterns of stress from continuing unchecked.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

These commenters emphasized that OP should protect themselves and the children by taking legal action and documenting all interactions

Bitchee62 − NTA You absolutely need to get him to communicate through the app.

His behavior is misleading and shows a pattern of attempts to access information he isn’t entitled to. He doesn’t seem to want to let go of control over your life.

SunflowerIslandQueen − NTA - your ex sounds like a piece of work…

Apprehensive_Steak28 − Go back to court.

Herbieg18 − I think that you are taking the right approach towards this behaviour, and having it all officially recorded might curb this too.

NTA for trying to protect yourself and your children

_never_say_never_ − NTA. He’s deliberately making your life unsettled and creating false situations (aka lying).

Some might consider this behavior as harassment.

Absolutely ask the judge for an order to only communicate through the parenting app for any and all non-emergent matters.

ExoticFlower4935 − Document everything and go back to court. He is trying any and all possible ways to control you,

and the best way to dio that is through your kids. He has proven multiple times that he does not have their best interests in mind,

so protect them and yourself and get back I. Front of a judge to let them know what’s going on.

This group advised meticulous documentation to provide evidence of harassment or neglect for the court

Readabook23 − Tape everything. Document everything. Take it to a judge. Don’t confront him yourself. Help your family members block him.

DogTownUSA1 − Readabook is right. Tape, screenshot and document everything!

Take it to a judge before you get to the point of no return. Abuse takes many forms and this is abuse.

Asleep-Garbage-4892 − I don’t think you have a choice. Make sure you can document his behavior.

NovaLunar721 − Uh nta. . this is unhinged behavior and it involves children. I think it'd be in your best interest, to have all this documented in court.

This commenter described firsthand incidents of the ex’s negligence, illustrating the severity of the situation and reinforcing the need for formal intervention and potential full custody

Adorable_Library893 − UPDATE: I will be taking him back. I filed a complaint about him, not taking our child to urgent care.

While I understand, there’s no way he could’ve known our child was showing signs of sepsis,

on my way to ER he didn’t have to be messaging me about my personal life and then when I told him to redirect his priorities,

he stated it was because he knew I could handle that and I could just stop by an urgent care as if it were a McDonald’s for a cheeseburger.

I was out with my son from 6 PM until 4 AM. I had to drop my daughters off with another family.

We tried to go to an urgent care, but the first one was closed.

After that I decided there was no way I was letting him go any longer without care and took him to the emergency room.

I feel as though the issue is him not giving adequate care while he has them

and admitting that he intentionally waited for me to get there so that way I could handle it shows a lot.

For the summertime, we have swapped schedules and he will have them five days a week as opposed to my three.

If my son starts showing symptoms on a Monday, he cannot wait to be in my care to be seen and if this is how it’s going to go

I will fight with everything in me to get them full-time. F__k a parenting app. At this point, the goal is sole custody.

I will say when he realized how dire it was getting he did redirect his priorities

but the fact that it took our son being seriously ill to get there is something that I am not OK with.

Do you think requesting court-ordered communication boundaries would be enough in this situation, or did the update change the conversation entirely? And when does difficult co-parenting cross the line into something that requires stronger legal intervention? Share your thoughts below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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