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Agreeing With Wife, Man Ends Up Accidentally Naming His Daughter After His Ex

by Jeffrey Stone
January 7, 2026
in Social Issues

A new dad eagerly went along with his wife’s emotional choice to name their newborn daughter after her beloved great-grandmother, right after the birth. He had completely forgotten that the same name belonged to a girl he briefly dated in high school over ten years earlier, a memory so faded it never crossed his mind during the joyful moment.

Four years later, a casual remark from one of his friends casually mentioned the old high school connection in front of his wife. She felt blindsided and betrayed, convinced the name now carried an unwanted tie to his past, leaving her hurt and distant.

A dad faces backlash for not disclosing his daughter’s name matched a forgotten high school ex.

Agreeing With Wife, Man Ends Up Accidentally Naming His Daughter After His Ex
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for not telling my wife our daughter’s name is also the name of a girl I dated over a decade ago?'

We decided we wanted the gender of our baby to be a surprise to us and didn’t discuss any baby names.

It was a girl so my wife instantly said, “can we name her “X”, after my great grandma?"

Her great grandma passed away a few years ago and was special to her because she raised her until age 10 or so.

She obviously put some thought into this because she asked as soon as we were told it’s a girl.

I actually never knew that was her great grandma’s first name because my wife always referred to her as “grandma”.

Well, that also happened to be the name of a girl I dated over a decade ago.

My wife was super excited and obviously all emotional after giving birth so I didn’t say anything and agreed.

This ex didn’t mean anything to me, we dated sophomore year in high school and I honestly forgot about her until the name came up.

I didn’t think that was the right time to bring it up. I completely forgot about the ex name part soon after because, well, new baby.

Now it’s 4 years later and some of my buddies are over and one of the idiots says, “hey, didn’t you date an “X” in high school?”

I said yes and the conversation moved on. After they left, my wife got p__sed that I let her name our daughter after my ex.

I said no, we named her after your great grandma, I had completely forgotten about my ex.

She’s upset and I think she’s overreacting a bit and will cool down and understand. But while she’s avoiding me, am I the a__hole here?

Baby naming can feel like auditioning for a lifelong family Broadway show, where every choice spotlights emotions, legacies, and those pesky “what ifs” nobody saw coming.

In this case, a high school ex’s name popping up as a great-grandma tribute years later? It’s like serving apple pie at a party and someone yelling “Hey, that’s my ex’s favorite!” Awkward, but not exactly poison.

The husband nodded along post-birth without mentioning the coincidence, then forgot it amid diaper dashes and dad duties. His side? A fleeting sophomore fling from over a decade ago meant zilch; why rain on her emotional parade?

Her angle? Blindsided by a buddy’s quip, she feels duped, like the name’s now tainted by secrecy. Both make sense. Postpartum glow isn’t prime for ex chats, yet transparency builds trust, especially on something as permanent as a kid’s moniker.

Opposing views add spice: some see her reaction as overkill, since names aren’t unique snowflakes. As Joni Ogle, licensed clinical social worker and certified sex addiction therapist at The Heights Treatment, notes in a Fatherly article on parents using ex-linked names, “while naming one’s child after an alleged affair partner may seem odd, there are valid reasons for such a decision.”

“Some people may believe that by naming their child after an ex, they are setting them up for success in life,” she adds. “If the parent had fond memories of their time with the ex and they were a kind and successful person, they may believe that naming their child after them will help the child to achieve similar success.”

Here, it’s coincidence, not intent. Common names collide all the time, and folks date folks with everyday handles like Emily or James. Ogle highlights how it could stem from liking the sound or neutral nostalgia, not lingering flames, urging couples to weigh emotional baggage openly.

Zoom out to broader family naming tugs-of-war: these spats echo wider dynamics where honoring elders clashes with partner histories. Psychology Today reports in “Why the Choice of Your Child’s Name Matters So Much” that namesaking boosts kinship but risks rivalry. Boys get it more, yet uniqueness pushes parents toward fresh picks during tough economies.

A study there found first-born boys namesaked more than later ones, hinting at legacy pressure. Uncommon names spike in recessions for standout edge, but common ones like this great-grandma’s? They’re shared by thousands, diluting any “ex curse.”

Stats back the everyday overlap: with 8 billion folks, name doubles are routine. Live Science notes parents crave “slightly different” popular twists for familiarity-plus-flair, meaning ex-name echoes happen without drama. Yet, as BabyCenter surveys reveal, 7 in 10 couples ban ex-names upfront, smart firewall against this exact fireworks.

Neutral nudge? Chat it out sans score-keeping: hubby validates her “blindsided blues,” wife nods to his “forgotten footnote.” Reaffirm the name’s true star: great-grandma’s warmth. If frost lingers, a counselor could thaw it; empathy’s the ultimate name-mender.

Check out how the community responded:

Some people judge the wife as overreacting or being unfair, while affirming the husband is NTA for not mentioning a meaningless high school ex with the same name.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You named your kid after your wife's great grandmother.

You were under no obligation to mention that you dated a girl of the same. name when you were 15 or 16 years old.

You couldn't have broached this topic when it never occurred to you that you had dated a person with that same name.

Your wife isn't being fair to you. She shouldn't be punishing you over this.

poeadam − NTA she’s jealous over a girl you dated when you were like 15 or 16? That’s silly.

loverlyone − NTA there are billions of people in the world. Thousands and thousands share the same name.

Individual_Brush_116 − NTA the name was your wife's idea named after her grandmother.

It's irrelevant if you dated someone a long time ago with the same name.

Had you told your wife when choosing names, she would have been upset that she couldn't use that name.

Just_stop_already- − NTA- would she not want to name her child after her great grandma if she knew it was the name of a rando gf in high school?

I'm sure she felt surprised and embarrassed on some level but yea, she's overreacting on this one.

Some people take a neutral stance (NAH), empathizing with both the wife’s feelings of being blindsided and embarrassed, and the husband’s good intentions to not ruin the birth moment.

RatchedAngle − NAH. Listen, this is one of those fights that can destroy a marriage if you don’t come together and empathize with each other’s feelings.

This is her daughter. She just found out that her daughter’s name is the name of an ex

(and her brain is probably not allowing her to focus on the “high school” part). She probably feels foolish and embarrassed.

After all, she chose the name not knowing that it was an ex’s name and that information was revealed to her by one of your friends.

She probably feels blindsided. You on the other hand didn’t want to ruin a very special moment

by mentioning a meaningless ex-girlfriend immediately after your wife just gave birth. I totally understand that as well.

My husband and I were in the same friend group in high school. He once said something really stupid that hurt my feelings.

He didn’t mean it at the time, but I still remembered it years later.

When I mentioned it to him, he was shocked that I held on to such a stupid little comment… but he also empathized with me and said,

“Yeah, that probably made you feel like s__t, didn’t it?” That one statement really allowed me to lower my defenses.

It also allowed me to see the comment for what it was: a dumb thing that he didn’t mean at all and would take back if he could.

I wouldn’t take the “she will cool down” approach. Try to see where she’s coming from. Acknowledge her hurt and don’t treat her like it’s stupid for her to be...

Saying “I understand why you’re hurt” isn’t the same thing as saying “I’m an evil jerk.”

This isn’t about “right” or “wrong.” You’re a team. Your teammate is hurting.

When things like this happen, you come together and figure it out without pointing fingers.

sickandopinionated − NAH You could've told her sooner. It's okay for her to be confused about it for a moment,

but in the end it's a name she suggested for good reason and you agreed with it.

You guys could've discussed boy and girl names ahead of time and you could've mentioned it then

and it would've been resolved before birth and likely chosen the same name.

Also, names are not unique to people. If you named your child after her great grandmother,

that's awesome and that means she's not named after the many (possibly hundreds of) thousands of people who've had the same name.

My daughter has 2 middle names and is named after my husband's grandma and the woman who was like a grandma to me.

Another family member in my husband's family has the same name as the woman she was named for.

One person asked if she was named for his grandma and his other family member, we said no, for his grandma and my kinda-grandma. That was it.

People understand that multiple people have the same name as long as you don't use a crappy made up name.

Some people defend the husband as NTA, stressing that the name honors the wife’s great-grandmother, the ex is irrelevant after so many years, and the couple should communicate calmly.

[Reddit User] − NTA You genuinely haven't thought about this woman in over a decade.

There are 8 billion people on the planet, and a bunch of people have the same names.

Y'all need to sit down and talk. Explain that you don't care about this person, so you didn't bring it up.

You care about your wife and wanted to honor her grandmother with her.

You're sorry you didn't bring it up then, but you didn't even really think about it.

halfhumanhalfgoddess − NTA I mean she named her X. Who even names their daughter "X" !?

Some people blame the friend who revealed the information as the AH for unnecessarily bringing it up.

macrowe777 − Agree with all the posts here, just one minor one to add that I haven't seen mentioned. Your mate is TA.

Why the f__k would a sound minded friend come over and bring that up to your wife.

You need to give him a dressing down, if for no other reason being to show him how to not be a dumb f__k.

In the end, this name slip-up proves even sweet tributes can snag on past threads, but open hearts untangle most knots. Do you side with the hubby’s “harmless forget-me-not” or the wife’s “secret-stung” vibe? How’d you handle a name double-dip with family feels on the line? Spill your tales below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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