Body-Positive Coworker Mocked Her Looks For Months, Then Played Victim When Called Out

Body positivity is meant to be about respect, acceptance, and minding your own business. But what happens when someone uses that language while constantly commenting on someone else’s body?

This Redditor says that contradiction became impossible to ignore while working alongside a co-worker who regularly made remarks about her weight, eating habits, and appearance.

At first, she tried to shrug it off, but the comments kept coming, even in moments that already felt uncomfortable. Eventually, one final remark tipped things over the edge and sparked a confrontation neither of them expected.

Now she’s being told she was too harsh, even though she feels pushed to defend herself. Keep reading to see how the argument unfolded and why she’s asking the internet for perspective.

A student snaps after a body-positive coworker repeatedly comments on her appearance and health

We all want respect in how others talk to us, especially about something as personal as our bodies. When someone claims to support body positivity yet repeatedly comments on another person’s body or eating habits, it can feel contradictory and hurtful.

That’s the emotional core of this situation: the OP experiences unwanted judgment wrapped in phrases that were framed as concern, and that’s understandably frustrating.

Body-related comments, even those meant to be humorous or “helpful”, can cross a line into body shaming.

According to Verywell Mind, body shaming includes negative commentary about someone’s body size, shape, or appearance, and it’s harmful to psychological well-being whether it’s directed at someone who is perceived as too large or too thin.

Body shaming contributes to anxiety, low self-esteem, and negative self-image, and it reinforces the idea that worth is tied to appearance rather than overall health or self-acceptance.

Psychology Today highlights that body shaming is a form of bullying and can happen regardless of intention. Remarks that seem like “concern” can still be experienced as derogatory if they focus on someone’s physical traits rather than who they are as a person.

This type of criticism, whether overt or veiled as a joke, can contribute to discomfort and negative internal reactions.

In conflicts like this, another layer is how people respond when they feel judged themselves. Defensive communication research shows that when individuals perceive criticism or threat, they often react in ways that protect their self-image, even by attacking back or interpreting comments in the worst light.

These responses don’t necessarily reflect objective truth, but they do signal that the person feels under threat and is trying to defend their dignity.

This context helps explain why the OP’s reaction was so strong: a coworker repeatedly commented on her body in ways that made her uncomfortable, then made a dismissive remark when she experienced an awkward social interaction. That pattern can feel like implicit judgment rather than support.

Still, there’s a difference between calling out hurtful behavior and attacking someone’s character. Labeling a coworker as “unhealthy,” “deluded,” or “bitter” transitions the conflict from a boundary about unwanted comments into a personal attack, one that can escalate conflict rather than resolve it.

A helpful way to approach situations like this is by using “difficult conversation” frameworks from communication science.

Experts suggest that difficult conversations involve three layers: the what happened (facts), the feelings (emotions involved), and the identity (what it means about each person). Addressing all layers without personal attacks tends to reduce tension and foster understanding.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These commenters backed OP, saying she provoked it and deserved pushback

These commenters leaned ESH, saying OP was justified but crossed a line

Body positivity was never meant to be selective or weaponized. This conflict wasn’t about who was healthier, thinner, or more confident. It was about boundaries ignored until frustration exploded.

Was the response harsh? Maybe. But after months of commentary, many felt it was inevitable. Do you think snapping after prolonged provocation is understandable, or should the line have been drawn sooner? Share your thoughts below.