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Boyfriend Freeloads In Girlfriend’s Home, Skips Chores, Pays Nothing, And Gifts Drain Cleaner For Christmas

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A woman lets her boyfriend live rent-free in her apartment for over two years, cooking and cleaning while he contributes nothing. For Christmas, he gifts her Draino, igniting her long-built frustration.

She demands he return to his nearby home, but he responds with silence and eventual departure. The breakup leaves her heartbroken yet relieved, sparking online talks about unequal relationships and freeloading partners.

Self-titled good boyfriend takes advantage of girlfriend’s kindness while living rent-free at her place.

Boyfriend Freeloads In Girlfriend's Home, Skips Chores, Pays Nothing, And Gifts Drain Cleaner For Christmas
Not the actual photo.

'I feel my bf is taking advantage of my kindness. I confronted him. AITAH?'

My boyfriend (33/m) and I (38/f) have been dating since Summer 2021 and since then, he has stayed at my apartment every day and every night.

He owns his own home less than a mile away which he said he purchased for his 3 roommates who were looking for a place to live.

He only charges them $300 or so a month, out of the goodness of his heart.

I have only been there twice for house parties, which I essentially invited myself to when we were getting to know each other.

I never have asked him for money. Not for rent. Not for utilities. Not for the groceries I always have to buy.

He never goes shopping for any food or household supplies. Two separate instances I asked if he could get toilet paper.

Once he bought a chintzy 4pk at the gas station he was already stopping at,

(which I'm assuming is just to tide us over until I get a more realistic package? He has IBS and goes through a lot),

and the second time he brought in a big garbage bag of almost empty rolls from his bathrooms at work which they save.

He doesn't cook and said in the past it's not important to him, or he doesn't think of it, yet will certainly eat the food I buy and make.

For the most part I was more than happy to provide, but as time goes on I feel like I'm carrying the mental load of living together by myself.

My apartment is in disarray and I can never get it under control with only me doing any work.

I have mentioned parts of above to him over the last year, and sometimes it would result in him sheepishly doing one sink full of dishes and leaving the rest...

Or when I tell him he has to figure out dinner for us for one night out of the seven because I'm working late, that means he's DoorDashing us something...

It's things like that make me start to resent him and k__l my attraction. It hurts my feelings.

For such a "nice guy" how can he be so thoughtless. It feels thoughtless to me anyway.

I told him tonight I feel it would be best if we returned to our old living situation: him at his home, and me alone here.

I expressed I can't (or wont?) handle all the responsibility of our lives co-inhabiting.

I also said it really hurt my feelings that for Christmas he got me Draino

(which he waited to give to me on Christmas meanwhile the sink has been backing up for a month), and a set of ladels.

He didn't say anything. He just sat there and stared at me. I asked if he had anything to say? Any feelings about it? He said he didn't know what...

There are far too many women in the same situation, I'm finding as I read Reddit.

Are all men truly just one-track minded? They only think of themselves?

Why don't men just take the initiative to help their partners without having to be given lists, or told what to do, or "nagged" about it.

Update - so since this, he was still in my living room for a few hours (I've been in bed w/ Covid)...

and laying there I got miffed. I walked back in and asked twice more, you have nothing to say?

No words. No I'm so sorry you feel that way, what can I do? Nothin. No emotion. I can't believe it. T

his was supposed to be my "best friend." I told him we're breaking up and he needs to go home now.

I'm honestly really surprised and hurt by his lack of reaction. I should've known.

Update 2- I packed his things and he picked up this morning. I asked him again if he has any feelings about this and he was silent.

I'm sorry but I started to cry because it's just so hurtful. He said he was blindsided, then silent.

I said "that's all I get after two and a half years?" in tears, and he just said "bye Lauren" like he always would.

I needed him to hear me. Or understand where I was coming from but I guess he doesn't. Or doesn't care to.

He's alright with just walking away with his things, with no conversation or words from the heart.

That is the most painful thing out of all of this. His talks of getting a house, getting married...

Why bother if you're just going to throw it in the towel when me supporting us gets overwhelming.

For those of you who asked why I kept this going for so long... we met when my father died and grew close.

I wanted to have him in my life, it was positive and a breath of fresh air from my former partners.

He was a kind, sensitive, thoughtful, caring guy when I met him. He even on his own volition promised me he wouldn't be a "low tier dude" (like the others.)

I don't know if he's on the spectrum (many of you asked). He's joked about it in the past.

He's not a bad guy. I guess he really just doesn't care and I've got to accept that and try to learn from where I went wrong in the beginning.

Update 3 - you know what, I painted him in a bad light. Sure, these things happened, but ultimately he's a good guy. Maybe we're just not a good fit.

Perhaps I went about things in the wrong way by escalating it so quickly.

Perhaps I'm too quick to blame and not good at communicating in our relationship.

Either way, I got the space I so desperately wanted.. I appreciate all of your input today, the response was astounding.

I guess the take-away to my failed relationship is to be sure to check in with your partners:

where they're at, if their needs are being met, if there's anything you can do, if you're both still on the same page.

Is it too much to expect your partner to help around the house, after you have pay for groceries, fundamental stuffs and probably everything else?

Lauren’s story hits like a bad blind date: her boyfriend, a self-proclaimed “nice guy,” crashed at her place daily while pocketing rent from his own home’s roommates.

Groceries? Her tab. Chores? Her solo gig. And that Christmas “gift” – Draino for a month-clogged sink, plus ladles – feels less thoughtful, more like a prank from a budget prank show.

Zoom out to the core clash: Lauren craved partnership; he delivered passivity. She carried the “mental load”, that invisible backpack of planning, shopping, and scrubbing, while he nibbled on her efforts without a second thought.

Opposing views? Some might argue he was just clueless, not cruel, maybe wired for low initiative, as Lauren later pondered if he’s “on the spectrum.”

But let’s satirize gently: If kindness is his brand, why gift plumbing supplies like they’re diamonds? His silence during confrontations is the ultimate mic drop of indifference, turning her valid vents into echoes.

Flip the script: His perspective (inferred from stony stares) could stem from comfort-zone complacency. After all, why fix what ain’t broke when someone’s handing you the remote? Yet this dynamic mirrors a broader social snag – unequal emotional labor in relationships.

A 2023 American Psychological Association report highlights how women often shoulder 70% of household management, even in dual-income setups. It’s not just chores. It’s the resentment brew that kills spark.

Enter expert insight: Relationship therapist Esther Perel, in a Psychology Today article, notes, “The sexual role stands on the opposite side of the social role”.

Spot-on for Lauren. Her boyfriend’s blank reactions amplified the parental vibe, eroding attraction. Perel’s take urges check-ins: “Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what unspoken needs are festering.” Here, it could’ve sparked dialogue before the Draino debacle.

Neutral fixes? Start small: Shared apps for chore charts or weekly “state of the union” chats. If initiative lags, therapy uncovers roots, like avoidance or mismatched love languages. Broaden it: In a world of “nice guys” finishing last (or freeloading first), vet for reciprocity early. Lauren’s takeaway? Regular pulse-checks keep love balanced.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some urge immediate dumping and removing the boyfriend’s access to the home.

TicoSoon − My sister. What in the actual f__k are you doing? Draino?

Change the locks. Put his stuff on the lawn and call him to come get it before it rains.

You need to drop this idiot like a bad habit. He's been using you as his bang maid and is astounded that you've figured it out. Do NOT go back...

[Reddit User] − listen to yourself. WHY ARE YOU WITH THIS CHILD? Wait - I just got to the Christmas/Draino.

WTF. have some respect for yourself and dump this guy immediately.

maereth − Draino? Girl. Just… girl. Yes. He absolutely is taking advantage of your kindness and you need to move on.

Some accuse the boyfriend of being a freeloader profiting from his own property.

Ok_Play2364 − I'd be willing to bet he doesn't own that house. Maybe ask next time you see one of his "tenants". Sounds more Like a total leach

[Reddit User] − You’re dating a hobosexual. He’s using you for food and housing

while he rents his own house for profit and contributes nothing. You can do better at 30+ years old.

Others blame the OP for enabling the situation and lacking self-respect.

Otherwise-Table1935 − Saying something is not nagging. Tbh you perpetuated this mess by just giving blindly over and over.

Maybe next relationship you will realize you need to start with a balance instead of just giving all of yourself.

FlounderSolid2659 − NTA. Your boyfriend sucks. Why are you still dating him? ?? You are being a doormat and being his mom. Stop.

And no, not all men are like that. Most are wonderful and kind and do housework

and communicate and aren’t blank-faced when you talk to them about issues. Get you one of those men, not this child you’re raising.

[Reddit User] − Wow why are you tolerating this behavior?

DeepFudge9235 − NTA but you being used and enabling him. He has no desire to change and he sees you as a ATM.

It's better to be single than be someone who uses you and clearly doesn't respect you with that Draino stunt.

Some express sorrow over generational persistence of such issues.

Sufficient-Bar-7399 − I've said before at the age of 66 (12/22/23), I truly thought my generation would be the last to have to deal with this.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

Do you think Lauren’s quick escalation was a power move or a panic button? Was the boyfriend truly blindsided, or just biding time in comfort?

How would you redraw boundaries without the heartbreak? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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