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Bride’s Innocent Catering Mistake Ends a Friendship of Many Years

by Charles Butler
November 10, 2025
in Social Issues

A bride’s wedding planning blunder turned into a full-blown friendship catastrophe after she failed to provide a proper meal for a vegan friend who was flying in from another country. The bride thought her last-minute “solutions,” including a home-cooked meal or something from a supermarket, were reasonable offers to fix her mistake.

Her friend, however, saw it as a profound sign of disrespect. She promptly canceled her flight and bailed on both the bachelorette party and the wedding, leaving the bride “extremely hurt and blindsided” and their friendship in ashes.

Let’s get into this very modern wedding dilemma:

Bride's Innocent Catering Mistake Ends a Friendship of Many Years
Not the actual photo

AITA for not having catered vegan food at my wedding?

I (27F) got married recently. I invited a friend (27F) and her partner, and she was excited to come. They live in another country (a 3.5h flight away)

so coming isn’t easy or cheap for them. We asked 7 months before the wedding about dietary needs, and she told us her and her partner

would need vegan options. Since my dinner included veggie options, I (wrongly) assumed the caterer could also do vegan ones,

but when I asked 1.5 month before the wedding I learned they couldn’t. I informed my friend, saying I was sorry, initially asking her

if she had ideas about what we could do, and then offering to cook something myself or buy something from a supermarket. The conversation turned quite cold.

The next day she said she decided not to come to the wedding, or to the bachelorette that was happening the following week

(even though there was no catering issue there). She said her decision was final and we could speak after the wedding.

After a couple of days I asked if she could help me understand her decision, and she said she found it disrespectful

that I didn’t have a suitable vegan option for her and her partner so close to the date, even though they told me with plenty of notice.

I felt extremely hurt and blindsided, especially since I feel she didn’t give me a chance to find a solution together.

I kinda understand not coming to the wedding but not skipping the bachelorette... Now I’m not sure I want to be her friend anymore. AITA?

Oh, this one stings. You can feel the pain from both sides, can’t you? You have the bride, drowning in the last-minute chaos of wedding planning, making a genuine, albeit clumsy, attempt to fix a mistake. And you have the friend, who likely spent a huge amount of time and money planning this trip, suddenly feeling like a complete afterthought.

The bride thought she was opening a dialogue to find a solution together. But what her friend probably heard was, “I forgot about your needs for months, and now you’ve become a problem that I need you to help me solve.” That shift, from cherished guest to inconvenient burden, is where this friendship likely met its end.

It’s Never Just About the Food

Let’s break down the real issue here. It’s not the vegetables, it’s the respect. First, let’s talk about the friend’s investment. She and her partner were already committing a lot to be there.

According to a survey from The Knot, guests who have to fly to a wedding spend an average of $600 to $1,500 per person on travel and accommodations. This isn’t just a casual evening out, it’s a significant financial and personal commitment.

With that level of investment from a guest, the expectation is that the host has taken care of the basics. The bride did the right thing by asking for dietary needs seven months in advance.

The critical mistake was waiting five and a half months to act on that information. The suggestion of a “supermarket” meal, while likely not meant to be malicious, sounds deeply insulting. It communicates that while everyone else enjoys a professionally catered meal, she gets a second-class, reheated dinner.

This is where the friendship really started to crumble. According to wedding etiquette, the cardinal rule is ensuring your guests feel welcomed and cared for, not like a problem you need them to solve. By making the catering failure her friend’s problem to brainstorm, the bride unintentionally made her feel like a burden. And feeling like a burden is the opposite of feeling like an honored guest.

Here is what the Reddit community had to say.

An overwhelming number of Redditors put the blame squarely on the bride’s shoulders, calling her out for dropping the ball and then making it her friend’s problem.

sheramom4 - YTA... She was spending time and money to get to your wedding and your solution to fixing the problem you caused was "I will just pick something up...

Raj__u - YTA, for not communicating with your caterer properly and thinking a supermarket bought food will be at same level

as food served by them. Definitely your friends are not beggars that you serve them 2nd class food while others get better ones.

T00narmy1 - YTA, They are your INVITED guests... you dropped the ball here, and then instead of finding a way to fix it,

you then called YOUR INVITED GESTS and made it their problem? Dumped it on their lap and asked her for ideas?

[Reddit User] - YTA. I’m a vegan... If my friend invited me to a wedding and I was flying to another country, I’d expect said friend

to at least have something for me to eat... You should have handled it on your end without even telling your friend.

StAlvis - YTA... The lack of concern you demonstrated here is the problem now — not simply the lack of vegan options...

You had a chance. The chance was when she informed you of her dining needs... and then just did not.

However, a smaller group felt the bride made a mistake but the friend overreacted by being completely inflexible.

Old_Inevitable8553 - NTA. You made a mistake and then tried to find a way to make it right.

She was the one who chose not to accept the alternative you were trying to make. That's on her, not you.

BrewertonFats - NTA. You made every effort to offer alternatives, but your "friend" was more concerned about the day working for her rather than for the bridge and groom.

Appropriate_Bug_4633 - NTA... The purpose of attending a wedding is to bear witness and celebrate to your commitment to another.

It has nothing to do with the food at the reception... In this case, your friend has decided to take a militant, I will die on this hill stance for...

A few saw fault on both sides, pointing to a friendship that was likely weaker than they realized.

Curious-One4595 - ESH. You should have been more specific and checked with the caterer earlier... She should have been

a little more cooperative and less reactive. But honestly, it sounds like the bonds of your friendship were weaker than each of you had thought.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you’re a couple planning a wedding, the lesson here is simple: when you ask about dietary needs, you are making a promise to accommodate them.

Confirm with your caterer the moment you get a response. And if you make a mistake, own it completely. Find a solution yourself before you even bring it up to your guest. Call a high-end vegan restaurant and arrange a special delivery.

Do whatever it takes, but don’t make your guest do the work.

If you’re the guest, it’s also important to remember that people make mistakes, especially under the extreme stress of wedding planning. If you’re hurt, it’s okay to communicate that directly and calmly. Her friend could have said, “I have to be honest, I’m really hurt. It feels like I was an afterthought, and the suggestion of a supermarket meal feels dismissive.” That may have opened the door for a real apology and a solution.

Was this friendship really that strong to begin with?

Ultimately, this story is a sad example of how poor communication and a lack of consideration can shatter a long-term friendship. The bride didn’t mean to be malicious, but her actions sent a clear message. The friend, feeling deeply disrespected, chose to protect herself from further disappointment by withdrawing completely.

So, where do you land? Was this a simple mistake blown out of proportion by an unforgiving friend? Or was it a friendship-ending act of disrespect that no one should be expected to tolerate?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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