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Brother Mocked His Crochet Skills For Years, Still Expects Baby Blanket

by Annie Nguyen
January 26, 2026
in Social Issues

Not all family conflicts are loud or dramatic at first. Some build quietly over time, shaped by jokes that go too far and apologies that never come. When those tensions surface during major life moments, they can quickly overshadow what should have been a celebration.

In this case, a longtime family custom tied to welcoming new babies becomes the center of an argument years in the making. After distancing himself from relatives who repeatedly mocked him, one man is pulled back into the spotlight when expectations resurface without warning.

A casual comment during a group call turns into a firm refusal, followed by accusations of pettiness and selfishness. With messages piling up and pressure mounting, he turns to the internet for perspective. Read on to see why this situation struck such a nerve.

One man’s lifelong crochet hobby collides with family expectations during a surprise baby announcement

Brother Mocked His Crochet Skills For Years, Still Expects Baby Blanket
not actual the photo

'AITA For Refusing To Crochet Something For My Brother's Future Baby After Years Of Teasing?'

I (24m) have never been like the other men in my family. I'm introverted, artistic, and would rather cosplay than play sports.

At age 14 my great-grandmother moved in with us and she taught me how to crochet.

I loved it but my brothers, Jim (27m) and Tim (27m), used to tease me constantly for it when she wasn't around

and whenever I would complain my dad told me that life's full of people that are going to call me names and that I need to "toughen" up.

I honestly think he was just disappointed that I wasn't an extroverted jock like him and his other sons,

felt like he could just pressure me into becoming more like him.

When my great-grandmother died she didn't have much but she specifically left me her crochet "hooks" and I was very touched.

She also left my cousin an unfinished baby socks that she was crocheting for the my cousin's baby, and I could tell my cousin was disappointed.

We kind of had this tradition of our great-grandmother making things for the coming babies.

I offered to finish what our great-grandmother started, using her hooks, and my cousin was thrilled at the gesture.

After that I kinda inherited the position of crocheting things for any new babies in the family

and I rather enjoyed it because I felt as if I was carrying on a legacy.

Although, it did nothing to stop my mediate family from making jokes and calling me names.

Despite the constant attacks against my sexuality Jim, ironically, came out as gay and has since apologized for

his past treatment of me so we're on good terms but Tim is still a jerk to me.

When I went to college I went low-contact with Tim and my father and would just tolerate them at family events.

Last week Tim announced that he and his girlfriend, Tina (24f) were engaged and expecting their first child over

social media and everyone was thrilled. During a zoom meeting with the family Tina said she would love a matching blanket,

little hat and shoes for the baby from me, and I asked her to send me a copy of her registry for baby clothes.

Tim laughed and said everyone knows that it's tradition that I make the items.

I told him flat out that he doesn't get to make fun of my skills as a crocheter and then expect free labor from me.

My dad said that I was being rude and needed to apologize. I countered that if Tim was hurt by my refusal to crochet for him

then he should just "toughen" up and get over it and then left the call.

Since then I've been getting text messages from my parents and Tim saying that I'm being petty and a jerk to Tina

and the baby, but I haven't responded. AITA for refusing to crochet something for my brother's baby after years of teasing?

Edit: Okay since I keep seeing this I'm just going to give some info. Yes I am aware that you crochet with HOOKS and not "needles."

When my great-grandmother was teaching me she referred to them as a "needle." Granted she obviously made a mistake

but when I was first learning it just stuck so that what I always refer to them personally and I will correct it.

Edit For More Info: For more information the last time my dad and Tim made fun of /harassed me crocheting something was last year at

Christmas. It's not like they stopped teasing me, calling me rude names, or questioning my manhood when I went to college.

At first glance, this family dispute may look like a simple disagreement over a handmade baby gift. But from a psychological perspective, the conflict reveals deeper patterns of emotional invalidation, long-term teasing, and delayed boundary-setting.

Studies on sibling bullying show that repeated mockery within families is far more harmful than many people assume. Research published on PubMed Central (PMC) highlights that sibling bullying, including persistent teasing, name-calling, and humiliation, is associated with increased risks of anxiety, depression, and reduced self-esteem well into adulthood.

When this behavior is normalized or brushed off as “just joking,” the emotional impact often compounds rather than fades. This context helps explain why the Redditor’s refusal felt so charged.

The teasing wasn’t an isolated childhood phase; it was a recurring pattern that targeted a deeply personal skill tied to family legacy and identity. When ridicule centers on who someone is, not just what they do, it tends to leave lasting emotional marks. Parental responses also play a crucial role.

A longitudinal study on emotional development, published via PubMed Central (PMC), found that parental rejection and emotional dismissal during adolescence are strongly linked to long-term difficulties with self-worth and emotional regulation.

Being told to “toughen up” may appear practical on the surface, but research shows it often teaches children that their feelings are inconvenient or invalid.

Over time, individuals raised in such environments are more likely to protect themselves by setting firm boundaries later in life. This aligns with psychological research on self-compassion, which emphasizes treating one’s own emotions with understanding rather than shame.

According to Wikipedia, Self-Compassion, people who practice self-compassion are better equipped to establish healthy limits, particularly after experiences of repeated criticism or invalidation.

Viewed through this lens, the Redditor’s refusal to crochet isn’t an act of pettiness or punishment. Instead, it reflects a protective response, choosing not to offer emotional labor or creative effort to someone who has never acknowledged the harm they caused.

Experts generally agree that meaningful reconciliation requires accountability, not sudden appreciation when someone’s skills become useful.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These Redditors agree Tim mocked OP’s skill yet still feels entitled to benefit

mochaluvr1 − NTA Note that your brother, Jim, and other relatives are not sending you messages.

The ones who are the same people guilty of the behavior that brought about this conflict.

I've been getting text messages from my parents and Tim saying that I'm being petty and a jerk to Tina and the baby, but I haven't responded.

This isn't about Tina or the baby, it's about Tim being horrible to you about a skill of yours he now wants to reap the benefits of.

It's not as if you said you wouldn't buy a baby gift either. Now, THAT would be petty.

Tina said she would love a matching blanket, little hat and shoes for the baby from me You went LC with Tim,

so I'm assuming you don't have a very close relationship with Tina. So why is she ordering all of these items from you?

Is it because Tim promised things he couldn't deliver? Has Tim missrepresented the relationship between the two of you?

Sounds like it and Tim doesn't like that. My dad said that I was being rude and needed to apologize. I countered that

if Tim was hurt by my refusal to crochet for him then he should just "toughen" up and get over it I KNOW your father

hated having his words thrown back at him. applause EDIT: Thanks for all of the awards!

mochaluvr1 − NTA Note that your brother, Jim, and other relatives are not sending you messages.

The ones who are the same people guilty of the behavior that brought about this conflict.

I've been getting text messages from my parents and Tim saying that I'm being petty and a jerk to Tina and the baby, but I haven't responded.

This isn't about Tina or the baby, it's about Tim being horrible to you about a skill of yours he now wants to reap the benefits of.

It's not as if you said you wouldn't buy a baby gift either. Now, THAT would be petty.

Tina said she would love a matching blanket, little hat and shoes for the baby from me You went LC with Tim,

so I'm assuming you don't have a very close relationship with Tina. So why is she ordering all of these items from you?

Is it because Tim promised things he couldn't deliver? Has Tim missrepresented the relationship between the two of you?

Sounds like it and Tim doesn't like that. My dad said that I was being rude and needed to apologize. I countered that

 

if Tim was hurt by my refusal to crochet for him then he should just "toughen" up and get over it I KNOW your father

hated having his words thrown back at him. applause EDIT: Thanks for all of the awards!

ClassicPartyGuy − NTA. It's ironic that people tease others to "toughen them up," but they leave scars that fester inside unless they're treated.

He's not entitled to your services just because he's your brother, especially when he hasn't atoned for his behavior.

Tina would probably be disappointed though. Hopefully she didn't offense too.

srslyeffedmind − NTA he’s mocked you for years and now wants a gift of the very thing he’s mocked. Seriously that’s just rude

Illustrious-Band-537 − NTA. Did he really expect to treat you like that and have you create something

for him and his family using the very skills he bullied you for?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Tim has made it abundantly clear over the years that your crocheting was not something a guy should do.

These Redditors cheer OP for throwing the “toughen up” line back at dad and Tim

Rogues_Gambit − NTA your dad sucks for not teaching his other kids to be kind, well done for saying that to your dad,

the other two are obvious assholes but at least Jim has changed and apologized Edit- Hi George

SNC__94 − NTA. Isn’t it quite typical? You aren’t rude just because his arrogance came back to bite him.

You told him exactly what to do for expressing an emotion-toughen up.

OriginalMsMadHattie − NTA- if the tradition is so important; buy your dad some crochet hooks and tell him to get started!

These Redditors stress that creative labor takes time and abuse shouldn’t be rewarded

starienite − NTA. I crochet. It takes time, effort, skill, and money to crochet something that you feel is good enough to give to somebody else.

So many people think that it’s so easy and so fast you and they don’t value the labor it takes to make it. That alone is bad enough.

You have members of your family that made fun of your skill and they do not get to benefit from it

now unless they are sincere in their apology.  They’re not going to be because they want stuff.

[Reddit User] − I crochet, but I learned to knit first, as a teenager. I was also in a residential (boarding) school.

The other kids would tease me mercilessly for knitting, calling me "granny" and other unpleasant nicknames

(I do have friends now how who do that but we all know it's in the delivery! ), yank out the needles, that sort of thing.

Then, out of the blue, knitting became a HUGE thing for a few years and I was suddenly being asked to teach these same

girls or to fix their dropped stitches. Let's just say I was often too busy or did the bare minimum for repairs, and I refused to teach the bullies.

There was, however, a young lad a few years younger than me in our twin house, a jock of sorts, very popular,

who took an interest when he saw me doing it, so I actually taught him and a couple of his female friends in the common area.

They weren't keen on sexes mixing in the houses, and I remember one of the teachers coming in, all suspicious about the attention

this boy was getting from all the girls, saw him knitting with us, shrugged and merely reminded him to be back at his house before curfew.

When she left he gave me a huge wink and I thought "you legend! ".

I feel sorry for straight men who learn later in life that these skills are attractive to women. Such a missed opportunity!

cybillia − NTA. I was in a similar situation with my family, and they made fun of me for liking to bake, and

they wanted me to bake them bread or cakes. I wouldn’t do it, and neither should you. Abusive behavior should not be rewarded.

This Redditor backs OP but warns the refusal may deepen family strain

throwRA1a2b3c4d1 − NTA. You flipped it on him.

You don’t have to do anything but just know it’ll further the strain as people like this don’t learn. I hope I’m wrong !

This Redditor supports OP and celebrates creative men who crochet

LeNoirDarling − NTA Btw- there is an entire subreddit of creative guys who crochet r/brochet

These Redditors suggest separating Tina from Tim’s bad behavior

fruitynutcase − NTA I hope his gf knows what an ass he has been and understand your point in this.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I might reach out to Tina and say it doesnt involve her though.

She might be thinking it has something to do with her and she is taking a self esteem hit.

Many readers sympathized with the Redditor’s decision to protect something deeply personal, while others wondered if a private conversation might have softened the fallout. Was refusing the gift an overdue act of self-respect or a missed chance for healing?

When family traditions collide with old wounds, where should the line be drawn? Drop your thoughts below; this one has plenty to unravel.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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