A young man, largely overlooked by his teenage parents who struggled through early adulthood, forged his own path and thrived as a skilled welder, complete with his own equipment and a new home. Years later, those same parents approached him, urgently seeking a large sum to cover his younger sister’s costly ballet summer intensive.
He firmly declined, sarcastically proposing to reimburse them for his own unfunded childhood hobbies instead, then delivered a cutting remark about their persistent money troubles that stunned them. The exchange crackles with long-simmering resentment from being sidelined as a kid, now clashing against heavy family pressure to support a sibling’s dream when his own went ignored.
Brother refused parents’ request for $20,000 to fund sister’s ballet program, citing childhood neglect.
The parents asked their successful grown child for money to fund his younger sister’s dream. To him, it was a cry for help out of impotence. To them, they were walking into a minefield of old emotions. It’s like stepping into a family gathering where everyone’s smiling, but the air’s thick with unspoken history.
In this case, the Redditor’s parents, who had kids young and leaned heavily on grandparents for support, later stabilized but seemingly prioritized the younger sibling’s needs.
Now, facing a big expense for her ballet opportunity, reportedly around $20,000, they turn to the older child, who’s built a solid career in welding. The refusal, complete with a pointed remark about ongoing financial struggles, stirs debate: protective of hard-earned boundaries or a bit too blunt?
From one side, parents might feel entitled after years of trying, especially seeing their child’s stability as shared family success. Motivations could stem from genuine belief in the sibling’s talent and fear of missing a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
On the flip side, the Redditor’s perspective screams valid resentment – feeling overlooked as a teen, with vacations and home life geared toward a toddler, no extras funded back then.
Offering to “repay” childhood activity costs? That’s petty genius wrapped in sarcasm, highlighting the imbalance without outright exploding.
This ties into broader family dynamics around money and support. Many parents today provide ongoing help to grown kids, often at personal cost. A 2025 Savings.com report found that 50% of parents financially support adult children, averaging $1,474 monthly, with many sacrificing their own security. Yet, the reverse – grown children funding parents or siblings – is less common and can breed tension when past support felt uneven.
Financial therapist Nathan Astle advises caution: “We can’t pour from an empty cup, and trying to do so will only cause resentment. If you cannot do this, then you have the responsibility to tell them that you can’t afford it.”
His words ring true here. Helping beyond comfort risks bitterness, especially with unresolved history.
Neutral solutions? Open chats about expectations early, perhaps exploring scholarships (common for talented ballet students at intensives) or payment plans.
If helping feels right, tie it directly to the sibling as a gift, bypassing parental guilt trips. Ultimately, no one’s obligated. Boundaries protect everyone.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Some people strongly oppose the parents’ demand for $20,000 as unreasonable entitlement.
Some people highlight the high cost of ballet and advise against funding due to ongoing expenses.
Others praise OP’s comeback about parents’ ongoing financial inability.
This Redditor’s story wraps up with a mic-drop moment that sparks reflection: Standing firm on “no” preserved their independence, but the phrasing added sting amid lifelong imbalances.
Do you think the Redditor’s refusal and that zinger about parents’ ongoing money woes were fair, given the neglected childhood, or did it tip too far into hurtful territory? How would you handle being asked to fund a sibling’s big dream when your own went unsupported? Share your thoughts and experiences below, we’re all ears!
