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Brother Takes Car Without Permission, Sister Threatens To Play Her Final Card With The Authority Involved

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Siblings conflict over toy is common children fight in every family. But what if instead of toy, it is a dream car, and instead of children, they are grown adults, one tries to make the other’s possession become family-access?

A 19-year-old girl’s car, hard-earned and shiny, became her 18-year-old brother’s personal Uber. Keys snatched, gas guzzled, and plans wrecked. Her boundary-stomping sibling sparked a fiery AITA showdown, with her frustration boiling over and threats of police action on the table.

Family ties clashed with entitlement, splitting Reddit over whose side to take.

Sister threatens to report to the authority if brother takes her car without telling beforehand.

Brother Takes Car Without Permission, Sister Threatens To Play Her Final Card With The Authority Involved
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for saying I will report my car stolen the next time my brother uses it, without my permission?'

I (19F) bought my first car on my birthday (January this year). I'm very happy to have this car.

I live far away from school, and the closest bus stop is 3km away because I live on the country side.

My brother (18M) was gifted a car on his birthday, which was in December last year.

Since I bought my own car, he has been using mine without letting me know first.

I've tried to talk to him about it, but he said he should be entitled to use it whenever, because I didn't buy it all on my own.

I paid for like 90% of it by using money I had saved up by working, and the rest was birthday/Christmas money.

So because I used some of the birthday money he gave me, he was entitled to use it.

I asked him why he couldn't use his own, cause it's a nice car & there's nothing wrong with it.

He said it was because mine was nicer, and his only had two seats so he had to use mine when he wanted to pick up friends.

I told him to just ask before he uses it, and to please fill the gas tank, and that I still had first right to it, because it is my...

Now, I might be an a__hole because yesterday I wanted to go to the mall and buy some yarn to finish a crochet protect.

My brother came up to me and told me he was taking the car to pick up his girlfriend.

I told him no, because I needed to use the car. He told me to walk, or just use the bus and took my keys and just left with my...

I called him and said, that the next time he takes my car, I will report it stolen.

He started crying saying I was trying to isolate him, and keep him away from his friends and girlfriend.

I feel so bad, but I am tired of not knowing if I can use my own car or not.

And I'm tired of having to pay for gas I don't even use. But he really seemed upset, so I don't know if I went too far. AITA?.

EDIT: I just wanna clear up some things

*"Why does he has access to your keys?" We use a Key holder to avoid anyone losing their keys.

I will start to leave my keys in my room/some where safe where he can't get to them.

"Where are the parents in all this?" I did talk to them. But they weren't really that much help.

My mom thinks I'm an AH/Selfish/Entitled to keep the car for myself. My dad thinks he shouldn't even be driving the car.

But whatever my mom says, goes in our home.

"Yes, my brother is a golden child". Has always been. He was bullied a lot more in school,

so my mom got more protective of him/his needs came first cause he had it worst.

A younger brother who’s treating his sister’s hard-earned ride like it’s community property. Just because she saved up 90% of the car’s cost, with a sprinkle of birthday cash, including some from him. Thus, he claims this entitles him to joyrides.

The brother has his own car as a gift. Yet it only has two seats, cramping his social style. When he swiped her keys to pick up his girlfriend, ignoring her plans, she drew a line: take it again, and it’s a police report for theft.

The Redditor’s brother leans on emotional manipulation, crying “isolation” when called out. This is about a car, yes. But it’s also about boundaries and respect.

According to a 2020 study by the Journal of Family Psychology, sibling conflicts often stem from perceived favoritism or unequal treatment, which seems spot-on here.

The Redditor notes her brother’s “golden child” status, with their mom dismissing her concerns while dad disagrees but stays silent. This imbalance fuels the brother’s boldness, leaving the Redditor stuck defending her property.

What’s driving his behavior? Maybe it’s less about the car’s sleek design and more about flexing control. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family dynamics expert, once said, “Conflict is an opportunity to learn to love our partner better over time.”

While he’s talking couples, the principle applies, clear communication could turn this mess into growth. The brother’s tears might be genuine distress or a tactic, but either way, he’s dodging accountability.

Meanwhile, the Redditor’s threat to report the car stolen, while legally valid (unauthorized use of a vehicle can qualify as theft in many jurisdictions), escalates the drama. It’s a bold move, but is it the best one?

This story reflects a broader issue: setting boundaries in families where entitlement runs high. A 2023 Psychology Today article notes that 60% of young adults report struggles with establishing autonomy from family, especially when parents enable one sibling over another. The Redditor’s mom siding with her brother mirrors this, leaving her to fend for herself.

A practical fix would be to hide the keys (she’s already planning this) or invest in a steering wheel lock.

Long-term, she could try a calm sit-down with her brother, laying out clear rules: no permission, no driving. If that fails, escalating to parents or even legal action might be her only route.

For now, she’s stuck in a tough spot: balancing her right to her car with family harmony. Reddit’s cheering her on to hold firm, but what’s the right call? Should she lock up her keys and her heart, or give her brother one more chance to respect her boundaries? Let’s see what the community thinks.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some believe the brother’s manipulation and unauthorized use of the car justify strong boundaries and reporting him.

OK_LK − NTA Report him. He is not being isolated. He has a perfectly good car.

Hide your keys or keep them on you at all times. Do not let him bully you like this.

Also, ask yourself: If he doesn't fill the gas tank, do you think he'll pay for repairs if the car is damaged whilst in his possession?

klurtin − Do not let him use your car for any reason. Hide all sets of your keys.

Do not let him bully you. Using your car without permission is stealing. Report him immediately if he takes your car again. NTA

Comfortable-Web9455 − NTA but toughen up. Your brother is walking all over you and you are letting him.

The fact you feel bad that he "acted upset" shows you are not being reasonable.

You should be angry that he is stealing from you. It's not your problem if he acts like a baby.

You're being emotionally manipulated. No 19 year old cries like that unless it's an act or they have serious mental problems.

Others suggest practical solutions like securing keys to prevent unauthorized use.

Background-Lab-4896 − NTA. But I think there is a better approach.

Buy a small safe that opens with a key. Lock the car keys in the safe when you are not driving.

The only key to the safe? Keep it on a chain around your neck.

[Reddit User] − Get one of those steering wheel locks.

[Reddit User] − NTA Take his keys and have a copy made. That way when he has your car, you can drive his car. Problem solved.

As for reporting the car stolen. Are you willing to go all the way through with it?

When the police pull him over and take him to jail are you willing to press charges?

Police and the courts do not like getting dragged into the middle of family disputes.

If they arrest him and take him to jail, then you decline to press charges, you are going to have a lot of upset police officers and District attorneys.

Some emphasize the brother’s entitlement and urge stronger personal boundaries.

OkSeat4312 − NTA-false threats are meaningless. You know that right? HIDE YOUR KEYS and stop letting him walk all over you!

This post is either fake or you’re in a country that treats women as sub-class citizens.

How your younger brother could get away with treating you like this is insane. STOP feeling guilty.

In the US, we call this “boy’s” behavior emotional blackmail.

[Reddit User] − "But he really seemed upset, so I don't know if I went too far."

If I were in your shoes I'd be furious. Aren't you upset too for the whole thing that HE started?

Hide your keys and define stronger boundaries with him. NTA

TA122278 − He cried?? Wtf. You aren’t trying to isolate him, he HAS HIS OWN CAR!

Stop letting him manipulate you, don’t give him access to your car ever again and tell him to stop acting like spoiled child.

If he doesn’t like his car bc there aren’t enough seats, he should trade it in and buy something more practical.

NTA unless he does it again and you DON’T report it stolen.

Eta I know this is petty, but I’d be taking HIS car out every time he takes yours

and driving it around for no reason other than to waste his gas and see how he likes it.

This Redditor’s car saga is a bumpy ride through sibling rivalry and family favoritism.

Her threat to report her brother for theft was a desperate grab for control, but was it too harsh?

Given his tears and their mom’s bias, it’s a tough call. Would you stand your ground and lock up those keys, or try one last heart-to-heart to set things right?

How do you handle a sibling who treats your stuff like their own? Drop your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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