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Burned-Out ICU Nurse Finally Snaps After Husband Blows Off Their First Free Saturday In 18 Months

by Leona Pham
December 5, 2025
in Social Issues

Even the strongest relationships can crack when a partner feels invisible. When someone pours their energy into their career, their home, and their marriage, the smallest moments of neglect can sting far more deeply than they seem.

And when those moments pile up on the one rare day meant for connection, the disappointment can become overwhelming.

That’s exactly where the original poster found herself. After months of exhausting work and no shared weekends, she finally secured a day off with her husband. What she expected to be a long-awaited chance to reconnect turned into something entirely different.

By the end of the night, she had to decide whether to let things slide or take a stand. Continue reading to see what pushed her to speak up at last.

A worn-out ICU nurse faces a heartbreaking letdown when her husband ditches their long-awaited day together

Burned-Out ICU Nurse Finally Snaps After Husband Blows Off Their First Free Saturday In 18 Months
Not the actual photo

'AITA For Barring My Husband From The Bedroom Tonight?'

So here is the situation. Me: nurse. Working 50ish hours a week in paediatric ICU.

Cry at least once a week because that s__t is hard. My salary pays our bills. All of them.

Husband: 25M. Has a degree but isn't looking for a job. Works 2 days a week at the grocery store.

Spends most of his time playing LoL. Btw all events here are in accordance with Covid Legislation. was supposed to be A Good Day.

I had been begging my husband to swap his Saturday shift to literally anything else so that we could have days off together.

We haven't had a weekend together since our wedding, 18mo ago. Today was supposed to be our first Saturday off together.

We were going to go to an animal sanctuary.

He starts the day by going to breakfast. With his best mate.

Leaving before I even wake up. I wake up around 9 and realise he is not home.

Call. He says he's helping his mate set up some lights and that the weather is too rainy for the animal sanctuary anyway.

He gets home at 1ish. Lies around. Plays some video games, promising we would cook dinner together tonight.

Leaves again at 5 to help the same mate with something else.

I go grocery shopping. I don't drive because of medical issues, but I walk there and back in the rain.

I get home, realise I've left my keys inside. Call husband, knowing he's 5min away. He says he will leave in a minute.

I sit in the rain and the cold (southern hemisphere). 45 min later, I call again. He hasn't left yet.

He finally agrees to come and let me in the house, so he drives up, presses the clicker to let me in the garage and leaves again.

At 10, I I called to see where he is. His friend answers. Says he is driving out to do something an hour away.

It's 10.30. I am going to bed. I have sent him a txt that I am upset and don't want to speak to him tonight and would rather he left...

As far as I am concerned, if he can't value me more than his best mate on the first day off he and I have shared in a year and...

(Btw, his friend doesn't work, so they hang out all the time when I am at work).

He is going to be upset. And he is gonna tell his mate and his mate is going to tell him I'm being a b__ch. AITA

Adding some info: I am 26. We weren't always like this. I don't know what changed. I'm fairly confident he's not having an affair.

And I fully intend on talking this through, but at a time that isn't 4am.

Also the crying: sick babies sometimes make me sad, and I love all my patients. That's why I cry.

And I don't mean hours of sobbing. I mean stepping into a supply closet to take a moment before getting back to work.

Also thank you for your kindness. I was expecting maybe 5 replies. I am trying to respond as much as I can. But there are a lot of you.

Sometimes the hardest emotional wounds aren’t caused by loud arguments but by moments when someone hoped for tenderness and instead felt overlooked.

Many people know the silent ache of preparing for something special, craving connection, only to watch the day fall apart because the person they love didn’t show up. In this story, the original poster isn’t reacting to one ruined Saturday.

She is carrying the exhaustion of an ICU nurse, the weight of being the household’s only financial support, and the longing for a rare moment of closeness with her husband. The real hurt comes from feeling like her emotional needs were invisible.

At the core of this conflict lies an imbalance of effort and emotional presence. The OP sought connection on a day meant to restore their relationship, yet her husband repeatedly redirected his time toward a friend. What makes her pain sharper is the contrast: while she works fifty demanding hours a week caring for critically ill children, he retreats into comfort, gaming, and last-minute hangouts.

Some viewers might see irresponsibility; others might interpret his behavior as emotional avoidance a way of escaping expectations he doesn’t know how to meet.

Gendered patterns show up as well: women are often conditioned to over-function in relationships, while men may withdraw when confronted with emotional labor they feel unprepared for.

Psychotherapist Amy Morin explains that emotional intimacy deteriorates when one partner repeatedly ignores opportunities to be present. In Psychology Today, she notes that healthy couples stay strong by not dismissing connection bids because emotional absence often causes more serious damage than direct conflict.

When someone consistently prioritizes distractions or other relationships, their partner may begin to feel unimportant, unseen, or even foolish for hoping.

This insight captures precisely why the OP’s reaction is understandable. Her husband didn’t simply miss dinner he missed every opportunity to show he valued her.

Sitting outside in the cold rain for forty-five minutes while he delayed leaving, only to watch him disappear again, sent a painful message. Asking him to sleep elsewhere wasn’t an act of cruelty; it was a boundary drawn out of emotional self-protection. When someone feels repeatedly dismissed, distance becomes a way to regain steadiness.

A realistic takeaway is that relationships survive stress, mismatched schedules, and personality differences, but they rarely withstand ongoing emotional neglect.

Couples in similar situations may need honest conversations, therapy, and structural changes, not just apologies, to rebuild trust. Connection thrives when both partners choose to show up, even in small moments.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

These commenters believe OP deserves better and say the husband is lazy, immature, and not husband material

rabbit92 − NTA I'd ban him for more than one night! What kind of thoughtless behaviour!

Sounds like there are bigger issues surrounding his job too. Have you spoke to him about finding a full time job? It's not fair that he's not pulling his weight.

BuckieBurd − Thats not a husband its an over grown child.

If he can't spend 1 day with you in 18 months and chooses to spend that day with his friends then kicking him out of the bedroom isn't going to...

He needs to start making you, his wife a priority or he needs to pack his s__t and leave.

He doesn't work and isn't looking for work.

He spends all day every day hanging with friends or gaming while you work your ass off helping others and paying bills.

 

Couples therapy isnt going to change that as he probably belives you are over reacting and he has done nothing wrong.

Sorry to sound harsh but you married a dud. He's lazy and inconsiderate.

 

Personally I'd throw the whole man away and start again. NTA

Evolutioncocktail − Why are you still with this man? He does not care about you - in fact he’s more concerned about this “friend” than he is you.

He is working two days a week and plays video games the rest of the week?

I’d love to hear an explanation for the logic there. Does he do chores? Run errands?

Anything to help his partner’s day be a bit easier? Does he even enjoy being around you? NTA

cleveraccountname13 − Divorce him. Your life will be the same as now, except that you will have more money because you are not paying for home to life a life...

Or don't. And decide you want to years down the road. And by then you have to pay him alimony due to the length of marriage.

You deserve someone who prioritizes you. NTA

vaultsick − NTA and you deserve a better husband.

GlassReverie − NTA. This is one of those scenarios where I can’t even say “you need to communicate with him-“

because it’s so blatantly f__king obvious what he did wrong. He doesn’t value your time together at all.

daughterofervin − Clearly this is your first marriage. Good luck on the next one.

supportgolem − Why would you be TA here? What is your husband doing and why is he working at a grocery store 2 days a week

when he could work? Why are you supporting his ass?

oatmealcoloured − NTA. Sounds like a s__tty husband though

This group raises strong suspicion of cheating and questions the husband’s strange behavior

kberson − NTA. My first reaction is who’s he seeing on the side? If he’s spending his free time with his mate, is his mate just providing an alibi?

When you call and he’s not there, how convenient is the mate’s response?

BlueJay_NE − NTA I don’t want to upset you, but you do have to consider that something more is going on than just your husband spending a lot of time...

There might be some “extramarital” activity going on and the friend is acting as a front so your husband can carry on with whomever without you finding out.

You know your husband best, but if I were you, I’d be suspicious of his behavior.

OneTwoWee000 − Two questions: * Why the heck are you with this childish and uncaring partner?

Are you sure he’s not f__king someone else and using “best mate” as a cover?

Because his actions how he sure as hell doesn’t want to spend quality time with his wife. Yeah. NTA!

Edit: OP, you also have to realize it’s not accident you spend as little time together as you do.

He actually prefers spending time with others while you financially support the household.

rustyrocks06 − NTA. Are you sure he isn't cheating

This commenter suggests the couple needs marriage counseling instead of Reddit judgment

JackBauer74 − You don’t need Reddit you need marriage counseling.

This user gives an in-depth analysis of emotional abuse, neglect, and why OP may be accepting mistreatment

shell-1980 − I'm going to guess that your medical issue is epilepsy, considering that you're healthy enough to continue nursing, and 50+ hours/week at that, because you're unable to drive.

Coming from a background of having a chronic disability, I can attest that it fucks with your self esteem.

Honestly, ridiculously low self esteem is the only reason I can think of, that you would stay with him.

Some points to consider: 1. Despite working in a grocery store and being the driver in the family, your DH (d__khead husband) didn't bother

getting your shopping in, even though you'd worked all those hours and he

QUITE LITERALLY DIDN'T NEED TO MAKE EXTRA EFFORT BECAUSE THAT'S HIS F__KING JOB!

2. When he came back in, he suggested that you cook TOGETHER, rather than him cater to you.

Considering the rough time you've been having, putting your life at risk to take care of poorly children, he should be kissing your f__king boots.

3. Knowing that he hadn't done the shopping, he still left you to WALK to the shops in the pissing rain, for the food

THAT YOU WERE EXPECTED TO MAKE. When he has a car. Let that sink in.

4. He either couldn't give a f__k that you were locked out in the pissing rain, with a medical issue, enough to leave you sitting there for 45 minutes

when he was only 5 minutes away, or he wasn't where he said he was.

My gut reaction is that it was the latter and you should be asking yourself why he would lie about where he was.

5. He knowingly and deliberately ruined your plans for the day, didn't bother making any new ones,

and had the audacity to leave you with expectations of spending some sort of time together.

So that you couldn't make plans, or enjoy your day off either.

6. You had to BEG the man that supposedly loves you the most in the whole world, to spend ONE DAY with you, after 18 months.

7. Despite making a vague plan to "cook together" later, he dumped you for the entire evening and night.

So you had to make your own dinner and eat alone.

He didn't let you know when he'd be back and didn't even have the courtesy to answer his phone.

8. The fact that you expect him to BE ANGRY WITH YOU for daring to set consequences for his disgusting behaviour, and

that somehow you should give a f__k what his 'friend' thinks of same, suggests that this isn't new behaviour.

Honestly? It sounds like you've been gaslit and brainwashed into thinking that your valid af feelings and issues with him, are crazy.

Sweetie, if he's told you that nobody could love you/he's a saint for putting up with you/you deserve this treatment, because of your illness, this is emotional abuse.

Have you honestly looked deeply at why you cry so much?

I think you'll find that it's not solely because of your work and likely heartbreak at being made 2nd best, despite how much you're putting into your marriage.

You don't need him, you can't count on him, you're being mistreated and you deserve so, so much better.

It does sound like he's cheating on you and he's most definitely using you.

So ask yourself, why do you stay? NTA 1000%

When you zoom out, this isn’t just about one ruined Saturday; it’s the story of a nurse carrying the entire marriage while her husband prioritizes anything and anyone else. Redditors overwhelmingly felt her boundary was overdue, not extreme.

But what do you think? Was barring him from the bedroom a fair line after months of being sidelined, or did she escalate too fast?

And honestly, how would you juggle being a partner to someone who seems to have checked out emotionally and practically? Drop your takes this situation is a pressure cooker.

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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