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College Guys Harassed Her Online, So She Sends Harassing Messages To Their Mothers

by Layla Bui
January 18, 2026
in Social Issues

There is a moment when ignoring bad behavior stops feeling like the mature choice and starts feeling like permission. Many people recognize that tipping point, when staying silent feels worse than whatever consequences might follow from speaking up.

In this case, an 18-year-old student found herself dealing with repeated harassment from classmates who seemed determined to intimidate her. Blocking them felt too easy, reporting them felt pointless, and doing nothing felt unbearable.

So she chose a response that no one expected, one that shifted the embarrassment away from her and placed it squarely back where it came from.

Her actions sparked strong reactions from friends on both sides, with some calling it brilliant and others calling it cruel. As the debate grew, one question remained at the center of it all. Was this accountability, or did she drag the wrong people into the mess?

A college student faces harassment from classmates and chooses a response

College Guys Harassed Her Online, So She Sends Harassing Messages To Their Mothers
not actual the photo

'AITA for screenshotting messages guys sent me and sending them to their mothers?'

I'm an 18 year old girl who is in college atm. I've been getting bullied/harassed by three guys in my class

who have taken to messaging me online with rather gross/harassing messages and nsfw pictures

that i'm sure you can all fill in the gaps without me going into detail.

I should have reported them or just blocked them but I had, had enough so I screenshot every message they'd sent me

and found their mothers through their facebook pages and sent screenshots to them including an explanation

of who I am and how their sons have been bothering me.

Their mothers were horrified and shocked by what I sent them explaining what was going on and all three are on my side.

Some of my friends think this is genius and exactly what they deserved but some of my other friends think I took it too far and

it was out of line to put that on their Mothers and also how I don't know what their home life is like.

Am I the a__hole for doing this? Should I have gone about it another way?

Edit due to questions/comments: When it was just standard bullying I reported them but they only got a warning,

the messages/pictures started after that as if to prove I couldn't do anything. I figured reporting them again wouldn't work so did this.

Edit 2: also whoever reported me as worried about my current mental health thanks? I mean i'm honestly good but thanks.

This Reddit story isn’t just a teen drama; it’s a real, messy example of how online sexual harassment can leave victims feeling unsafe, unheard, and forced to improvise their own justice.

According to experts, sexual harassment isn’t limited to workplace corridors or high-stake legal cases. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and social scientists broadly define sexual harassment as unwelcome sexual comments, advances, or behaviors that create a hostile environment

for the target, whether in person or online. These behaviors can include explicit pictures and harassing messages delivered through social apps even outside traditional institutional contexts like jobs or campuses.

That broad definition matters because many people don’t report harassment the moment it starts. Research shows that victims often cope by ignoring the behavior, hoping it will stop, or downplaying it as “just a joke,” a psychological defense that unfortunately lets harassment escalate.

In the Redditor’s case, repeated warnings and minor institutional responses didn’t stop the behavior, pushing her toward a more drastic choice.

Experts point out that online harassment creates a unique psychological burden. Because it happens behind screens, perpetrators can feel emboldened by anonymity and lack of immediate consequences, which encourages repeated offenses. Victims, in turn, can feel unsafe, violated, and unsure of how to make it stop.

So what would a “standard” expert-recommended response look like? Many authorities advise victims to:

Document everything. As recommended by university and legal resources, collecting screenshots and saving messages helps preserve evidence if formal reporting becomes necessary.

Use formal reporting channels. Whether through campus reporting tools, harassment hotlines, or law enforcement, these systems exist to address inappropriate conduct beyond social norms. Seek support.

Psychological research suggests that harassment can have lasting emotional effects like anxiety and stress, and talking with counselors or trusted allies helps victims process what happened.

In this Reddit story, the OP’s decision to contact the harassers’ mothers wasn’t random revenge. It was a reaction to repeated unwanted sexual advances and explicit content after formal reporting didn’t stop them.

Many harassment victims find themselves in that position: the typical channels fail to protect them or feel too slow to act, especially when the behavior escalates.

Psychologists emphasize that harassment isn’t a private quirk; it’s a violation of personal boundaries and consent. Public shaming or family involvement has risks and isn’t always the right first choice, but it signals to the harassers that their behavior has real consequences.

The key takeaway experts stress is that victims deserve agency, safety, and support, and when traditional reporting fails, individuals are often forced to explore alternative steps to protect themselves.

Ultimately, the heart of this conflict lies in consent, psychological safety, and accountability: the harassers violated all three first, and the OP took back power in a way she felt would finally make them stop. Would more formal institutional action have been ideal?

Probably. But in many cases, victims choose the path that feels most effective in the moment.

See what others had to share with OP:

These commenters framed the behavior as serious sexual harassment needing consequences

Urdrago − NTA. The people saying you took it too far are the same ones who would defend those guys' behavior as "just guys being guys."

What they were doing is organized s__ual harassment, and it needs to be forwarded to school administration as well.

Those are rapists in the larval stage.

Free-Celery__19 − NTA- not sure where you live but if it’s in the UK, this is actually a crime now, and I imagine with

its recent legalisation the local police force would be rather interested in this too.

I’d go the whole h__, f__k them and their disrespect for your boundaries.

This happened to me prior to the change of laws, so I issued a warning that as if anyone shared the image with me

I’d consider it my property to do as I wish with and share it on social media.  Never had one again happily enough these disrespectful s__ pests

need to learn to respect people’s boundaries, and unfortunately, from my experience, they don’t seem to understand the word no.

Seliphra − NTA If they didn't want their mothers finding out, they shouldn't have violated your consent repeatedly.

Your university wouldn't have done s__t, telling their mothers was easily the only way to make it stop.

This group backed OP for choosing accountability outside broken institutions

tosser9212 − NTA. Each of these guys could potentially be charged criminally; instead, you told their mothers.

I applaud you for employing a method that will ensure they have some kind of punishment from their families.

To be clear, it may not be any more effective overall than reporting to the police, but it's worth the shot.

As for your friends who say you took it too far, I'd ask them how far they think

the three guys have gone, and whether that's too far? Then tell those "friends" to eff off.

ParsimoniousSalad − NTA. You did "report" them, just to a different kind of authority.

They had no expectation or "right to privacy" of the messages they sent you. Good for you.

SiuanSongs − NTA. What kind of awful people put the feelings of their friends _harrassers_ over the feelings of their supposed friend?

The police probably would have done nothing. Whatever app you are using probably would have done nothing.

I think what you did was smart. You put them on blast, but privately,

so if they retaliate in a more public way they look even more like assholes.

These Redditors cheered OP’s move as smart, effective, and deserved payback

Apotheuncary − This is chef's-kiss perfection NTA Smart as heck Please ditch any friend who said this was out of line.

Men who don't know how to behave get either mom or the police. You chose well.

Allyzayd − This is gold! NTA. You actually chose an option that would cause them less trouble for their future.

Most colleges have pretty strict rules about bullying. They might have been kicked out.

You picked the more effective choice without destroying their future.

TBH even if you had chosen to report them to the college, you would still have not been the ah.

Bullying and s__ual harassment should never be tolerated.

turbohaley99 − Nta - that is the legal definition of f__k around and find out. Good for you

They stressed documenting abuse and forcing real consequences for bad behavior

Bobalish_tea − NTA. Run far, far away from any "friend" who thinks you're in the wrong here.

Also, please look into reporting these boys to the school, jobs they have, etc.

Protect yourself, leave a paper trail, screenshot and record everything.

RocketteP − NTA. Boys are far too often excused from facing consequences of their actions.

If they were being respectful none of this would be an issue. They weren’t. Perhaps they’ll think twice before they pull a similar stunt.

This group focused on consent, saying harassment is never justified

heathertidwell7 − NTA. They shouldn’t be sending you stuff like that without your consent in the first place!

It’s disgusting that some guys think that’s okay to do!

[Reddit User] − NTA. Nothing about their home life could ever justify s__ual harassment

This user praised OP but suggested minimizing harm to uninvolved mothers

drunkonmartinis − NTA. chef's kiss Edit to add: I would recommend censoring any vulgar images since

those women don't deserve to get unsolicited d__k pics either.

But you could totally blur them while making sure they know exactly what they are and what their sons are sending.

This commenter supported OP from a parent’s perspective, wanting accountability

mamabear131 − NTA. If my son ever pulled something like that I’d want to know.

The internet largely rallied behind the Redditor, but the debate lingered in the gray space between justice and discomfort. Was involving parents an overstep or a creative workaround when official systems failed?

The story taps into a broader frustration many share: when consequences disappear, people invent new ones. Do you think this response was a fair form of accountability, or did it cross a line by dragging families into the mess?

Where should responsibility really land when harassment won’t stop? Drop your hot takes below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 66/66 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/66 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/66 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/66 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/66 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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