Coworker Suggests Pets Do Not Count As Children Without Knowing Her Heartbreaking Infertility Struggle

A new employee’s friendly office conversation spiraled into deep emotional pain after he asked to see pictures of a colleague’s “kids,” only to discover photos of her three beloved cats. He softly pointed out that animal companions might not qualify for those child-centered gatherings. She burst into tears and fled the room.

Later, he learned she struggled with infertility and channeled her maternal instincts into caring for her pets to ease the ache. Overwhelmed with regret for his unknowing words, he apologized sincerely and brought her favorite coffee the next day.

A workplace misunderstanding exposes infertility pain when a comment about pets versus children backfires.

Blending into a new job with a tight-knit group of moms sounds fun, until it highlights who’s in and who’s out. This tale spotlights the tricky dance of workplace friendships, pet love, and unspoken struggles.

OP didn’t mean harm. He was just pointing out why the invitations might not come. Those events revolve around actual toddlers and babies. But hitting a raw nerve like infertility? Ouch.

It’s fair to note that pets, no matter how beloved, aren’t the same as human children when it comes to kid-focused hangouts. Parents bond over shared experiences like school runs or playgroups that cats just can’t join.

Yet, flip the perspective: for someone unable to have kids, treating pets as family can be a heartfelt coping tool. It’s private comfort turned public expectation, and that’s where things get messy. No one owes the world to treat pets exactly like children, but empathy goes a long way when pain is involved.

This touches on broader family dynamics and exclusion feelings in social circles. Infertility brings real emotional weight. Grief over dreams deferred, isolation from “mom” talks, and sometimes stigma.

According to a World Health Organization report analyzed in JAMA, about 17% of people experience infertility at some point during their lifetime, making it a common yet often silent challenge.

Research highlights how people cope differently. Some turn to nurturing pets as companions. One study found that women without children have stronger relationships with companion animals compared to those with children, suggesting animals can serve a surrogate role and ease psychological strain.

As author Elizabeth Day, who has shared her experiences with miscarriage and infertility, puts it: “So very often when I asked for an explanation, I was told that I was the one who was failing. So the language of infertility is laced with failure.”

This reminds us that while it may feel like a personal failure, these struggles are tough realities deserving kindness.

In the end, neutral ground wins: apologize sincerely (like our Redditor did), communicate openly at work, and include coworkers where it fits naturally. Maybe suggest adult-only coffees to bridge gaps? It invites everyone to chat without forcing pet-parent parallels.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Some people believe NAH because OP spoke truthfully without knowing about the infertility, and the colleague’s pain is understandable.

Some people view the colleague as unreasonably expecting others to treat her cats like human children, making OP NTA.

Others see NAH, emphasizing empathy for the colleague’s infertility while noting OP’s lack of knowledge and valid point.

This workplace mix-up wraps up with a dash of regret and growth. Our Redditor learned the hard way about hidden hurts, while the coworker navigates her pain. It sparks big questions: Was his gentle reality check fair, or did it sting too much given her private struggle?

How do you handle feeling sidelined in friend groups without overstepping? Would you invite a pet-loving colleague to mom events for the adult chat, or keep it kid-centric? Drop your thoughts below, we’re all ears!