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Coworkers Ask About Her Missing Fingers, She Gives Each A Wildly Different Story

by Leona Pham
March 1, 2026
in Social Issues

Curiosity can blur into intrusion faster than people realize. A visible difference often becomes an open invitation for questions, even when those questions carry personal weight. Some handle it with patience. Others reach a breaking point and decide to respond on their own terms.

After starting a new job, one employee with three missing fingers found herself bracing for the familiar cycle of stares and explanations. Instead of offering the real story yet again, she chose humor. Each coworker received a wildly different and clearly absurd explanation.

What she expected to be a harmless joke turned into office gossip and bruised egos. Now she is being blamed for creating tension. Scroll down to see whether her response crossed a line or simply pushed back against nosy behavior.

An employee gave absurd answers about missing fingers, sparking office tension

Coworkers Ask About Her Missing Fingers, She Gives Each A Wildly Different Story
not the actual photo

'Aita for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?'

I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine.

I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia).

However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people.

I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.

I'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying.

I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey.

I wasn't raised in a barn. Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go

and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).

Anyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again.

I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh.

When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby.

I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic,

and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on.

All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies.

I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go.

Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.

Within about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason

and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them.

I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend

with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books.

Anyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an a__hole because I caused tension

within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies.

My argument is that I'm not the a__hole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and

because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question

and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3.

I'll accept my judgement, though.

Update: gonna check out here, I think - getting real tired of explaining why it's not cool to ask people

why they lost limbs or digits just because you want to sate your m__bid curiosity.

A few reminders for people: I'm not a male (don't know why everyone assumed that!),

don't ask people about something that could be traumatic,

especially when you don't actually know them, and when making cupcakes, always cream the butter.

There’s a particular exhaustion that comes from being turned into a conversation starter. When someone’s body becomes a curiosity, even polite questions can feel intrusive. Over time, humor can become a shield.

From a third-person perspective, this situation isn’t really about lying. It’s about control. The coworker had three missing fingers and was used to the same predictable cycle: staring, asking, gossip spreading the explanation.

Repeating the origin story over and over meant reopening something personal for strangers’ curiosity.

Research on visible differences shows that people with limb differences frequently experience unwanted questions and “microaggressions,” which can create emotional fatigue and frustration. Even when questions are framed as innocent curiosity, they can reinforce a sense of being “othered.”

Psychologists refer to this as “stigma-related stress,” where repeated attention to a physical difference creates cumulative social strain.

Humor is a common coping mechanism. Studies in health psychology suggest that self-directed humor can help people reclaim agency over stigmatized traits and reduce discomfort in social situations.

In this case, the fabricated stories weren’t malicious attempts to manipulate coworkers. They were absurd, exaggerated responses designed to deflect invasive questions.

The fact that colleagues argued about which ridiculous story was true suggests that the real tension may not stem from the lie itself, but from people realizing they were overstepping and then feeling embarrassed.

That said, workplaces operate on shared norms of trust. Even harmless deception can undermine early rapport. Social psychology research shows that perceived dishonesty, even trivial, can reduce trust in group settings. So while the intent was protective and humorous, the outcome created social friction.

The deeper issue remains the boundary violation. Asking a near-stranger how they lost fingers is not neutral small talk. It risks probing trauma without consent. At the same time, deliberately providing conflicting answers in a new workplace carries predictable consequences.

This isn’t a simple “asshole or not” scenario. It’s a clash between personal boundaries and social expectations. The coworkers’ curiosity was intrusive. The response, while understandable, did create confusion and distrust.

Perhaps the most balanced takeaway is this: people deserve privacy about their bodies. But humor used as armor can sometimes complicate the very peace it’s meant to protect.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These Reddit users cheered the jokes as harmless and hilarious

Crabtrad − NTA, I think it's funny. ​ But both the "funny" factor and the "a__hole" factor are determined by the stories.

I am hoping in some of the tales your fingers were lost to wild animals, terrorists, and/or freak accidents with normal household items

coldtamalee − NTA - “I chewed them off as a baby. ” Hilarious.

micaub − Put plastic fingers in the cupcakes and say you lost them in a cooking accident. NTA.

basicallyabotaccount − NTA, if I was your coworker and I realized you were giving different answers

I would be delighted, but not everybody has the same sense of humor.

smrt_fasizmu − NTA, you made some harmless jokes and your co-workers need to loosen up a bit.

Good on you for trying to stay in their good graces as well.

[Reddit User] − NTA. That is hilarious! But also, I understand that it probably annoys you that people ask

but you can’t exactly blame them for it. If I saw someone who was missing a few fingers

I would be instantly curious about what happened.

Kirstemis − NTA. They shouldn't be asking personal questions. My grandad didn't have his left thumb.

My dad says he'd got a splinter in it which got infected, in the days before antibiotics, and it had to be amputated.

My cousins think he lost it in an industrial accident.

What grandad told me was that when he was little he sucked his thumb and it dissolved away.

I have a very noticeable scar across the back of my wrist from minor surgery. I tell people it's another mouth growing.

This group roasted the coworkers for being rude and intrusive

DigitalCode4Life − Ugh, your co-workers are just so damn rude. NTA.

They aren't supposed to ask you for your fingers at first place let alone "discussing it" and talking behind you.

You were embarrassed and pissed off at them asking the same questions and not minding their own business

so you joked about it but they were so dumb to recognize it. You aren't the a__hole. Co-workers are though.

iLuvTopanga17 − NAH. This is funny and anyone offended is being way too uptight.

brightwings00 − NAH. That's hilarious, and it was very brave of you to lose

those fingers protecting the President of Mozambique from an assassination attempt.

King_Darkside − NAH. My mother had polio and would tell kids that her leg was like that

because an elephant stepped on it. Not as funny as your situation, but fun none the less.

Dead_before_dessert − NAH, because that's hilarious and they must be idiots.

Your coworkers are f__king rude and it's none of their business.

You probably should have waited a little while, before you start blowing smoke up people's asses.

It's always good to get a handle on your coworkers, and give them a chance to realize they're being idiots before resorting to snark.

Sidenote: about 10 years ago, give or take, I knew a guy who was born with his fingers fused together.

They were amputated when he was just a baby...he was the most amazing guitar hero player I've ever seen in my life.

He destroyed everyone. ...and took great pleasure in making sure we knew he had crushed us with his "nubs". I miss that guy!

These commenters said both sides shared some blame overall

RunningTrisarahtop − Usually I think someone telling lies and laughing at those who believe them a**holes

but they were so wrong to ask and so silly about this. I would work hard, be friendly and polite, and they’ll warm to you.

If someone asks you can make a totally over the top joke and say “but really I get asked all the time

and it’s kind of uncomfortable so I’ve lots of silly stories. ” ESH, but you’re a really mild a__hole

Nerfixion − ESH, sounds like you took out your fatigue of the question out on them because of previous people in the past.

I guess you could say they were rude, but tbh I dont have an issue with people asking questions like that,

if anything I enjoy people taking an interest.

For example people ask my i have a 2ft long scare down my back when I take my shirt off.

I normally make a crazy story up, but i let people know im joking if they don't catch on.

At the end of they day I dont think curiosity is a bad thing.

Tbh if i were you id make cup cakes that look like badly drawn Rabbit, i dont know if that would help but its what id do

Reddit_Psyche − ESH Difficult one. TBH it sucks to be you. I have a noticeable scar on my face and get the same questions.

My daughter has a scar on the back of her hand and gets questions.

You will always get this, every time you meet someone new. And it will be discussed in your absence - human nature.

YTA because * maybe you should have some sort of strategy in place knowing the questions you are going to get.

* those people who were open with you (and probably thought they were being cool

by acknowledging rather than ignoring) now feel like idiots, or hurt.

* you didn't know you new co-workers and how big they are in character - you were effectively telling them to MYOFB

and if they are small minded they wont take well to this kind of joke NTA because

* they shouldn't have asked. When I was 22 and my boss at the time was missing a finger, I knew better than to ask. It's rude.

That's kind of sharing can come later, along with "What do you do about your bald patch? "

and "How come you are so overweight? " and "Why do your hands shake? "

* your responses (when seen as an accumulation and therefore in context) were funny and should have told them all to MYOFB, so they should have taken that into account...

I've done exactly what you've done in the past BTW. Now I mostly say "I don't want to talk about it",  or "It's a long story".

My daughter has come up with something better but I haven't had the chance to try it out yet.

She looks pensive for a moment, then looks them in the eye, smiles and says 'Don't worry about it',

as if she is protecting them from that knowledge. She says it works every time.

In the end, this wasn’t just about missing fingers, it was about who controls the narrative. Her coworkers were curious. She was exhausted. Humor became her shield, and the office turned it into a mystery novel.

Was her prank harmless self-protection, or did she unintentionally undermine trust on day one? Would a simple “I’d rather not talk about it” have landed better?

What do you think? Fair game, or first-day faux pas? Drop your take below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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