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Dad Calls Girlfriend “Selfish” After She Refuses To Skip Her Job Interview To Save His Kids

by Annie Nguyen
December 10, 2025
in Social Issues

Parenting can already feel like a full-time balancing act, but things get even more complicated when a new partner steps into the mix.

It is easy to assume that routines will run smoothly once someone else is around to help, yet those assumptions often hide expectations that no one has actually agreed to. That quiet pressure can slowly build until one moment finally sets everything off.

For one Redditor, that moment came on a very ordinary weekday afternoon. A simple school pickup turned into a heated argument that neither he nor his girlfriend expected.

Both felt they were being pushed into a role they never signed up for, and both believed the other was acting selfishly. Readers were left trying to piece together where the responsibility should truly fall. Scroll down to see how things unfolded.

A dad’s routine school pickup spirals into conflict when his girlfriend refuses to cover it

Dad Calls Girlfriend “Selfish” After She Refuses To Skip Her Job Interview To Save His Kids
Not the actual photo

'AITA for calling my girlfriend selfish for not picking my kids up from school?'

I M36, have been with my girlfriend F32, for 2 years. I have 2 boys m13 & m9 from my previous relationship. Their mom is not in the picture.

I work full time and my girlfriend used to stay home and take care of everything else (I still help out here and there)

yet she would complain about the kids causing constant messes, not receiving proper descipline, accidents like breaking a vase and the list goes on.

She complained that she is more of a parent than I am which's not true since I provide an income.

yet she decided she wanted to go back to work and started looking.

She found a potential job and her interview was yesterday.

I called her to remind her to pick the kids up from school since she's responsible for

it but she said she was about to start her interview and told me to go get them.

I was stunned, I told her I couldn't because I was at work. She said I could take a break but I refused because this would've affected my job.

I asked if she'd take 10 minutes to quickly go pick them up but she refused.

We ended up getting into an argument and me telling her she should've figured something out beforehand.

She blew up saying that I'm the parent and that she was tired of being at my beck and call all the time.

The kids ended up being picked up by my friend 40 minutes later which made them upset.

At home, I got into a huge argument with my girlfriend calling her selfish for doing this to the kids and ditching them like that.

She said that she had an important interview and that I, as the parent could've figured something out instead of expecting

her to drop what she was doing and pick the kids up.

She called me an a__hole then went to stay with her mom.

There are moments in relationships when ordinary tasks expose tensions that have been quietly growing for months. Many people know the sinking feeling that comes when one routine responsibility suddenly turns into a conflict, not because of the task itself, but because both partners have been carrying emotional weight they never fully acknowledged.

This story captures that familiar strain between wanting support and wanting independence, especially within a blended family where roles are often assumed rather than clearly defined.

The emotional core of this situation goes deeper than a missed school pickup. The father felt overwhelmed and afraid of letting his children down, especially because he already shoulders the responsibility of raising them alone. The girlfriend, on the other hand, felt trapped in a role she never explicitly agreed to.

What he viewed as a reasonable expectation, she viewed as another moment where her needs came last. Both were reacting not just to the event, but to months of feeling unheard, overstretched, and unappreciated.

When people operate in survival mode, even a ten-minute favor can represent something much bigger: sacrifice, imbalance, or the fear of losing oneself.

Let’s consider how emotional labor is distributed in blended households. Many women, even without biological ties to the children, feel pressure to step into caregiving roles because society quietly reinforces it.

Men, meanwhile, may equate financial contribution with partnership and overlook the invisible work involved in day-to-day child management. This difference in perception doesn’t make either partner wrong, but it does explain why their reactions diverged so sharply.

Research on emotional labor helps illuminate this dynamic. According to Wikipedia’s overview on emotional labor, the term refers to the often invisible effort involved in managing others’ feelings, needs, and daily functioning within relationships. When one partner consistently performs these tasks without explicit agreement, resentment and burnout naturally develop.

This insight reveals why the girlfriend’s frustration escalated so quickly. She wasn’t rejecting the children; she was resisting a pattern where she felt quietly obligated to absorb all unexpected responsibilities.

Likewise, the father’s reaction stemmed from genuine fear for his children’s well-being and the belief that the established routine had always worked. Both were operating from emotional depletion rather than clarity.

The practical takeaway is that blended families thrive only when expectations are clearly negotiated rather than silently assumed.

Defining responsibilities with empathy reduces the emotional load on both partners and prevents small crises from turning into painful confrontations. When roles are discussed openly, everyone, especially the children, benefits.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

These commenters reject OP’s belief that earning money equals parenting

Bobinct − "She complained that she is more of a parent than I am which's not true since I provide an income. " Just based off of this YTA.

NowIFeelLikeANoob − YTA. You're also deluded. She complained that she is more of a parent than I am which's not true since I provide an income.

Bringing in the money makes you a provider, not a parent. ​ I work full time and my girlfriend used to stay home and take care of everything else

By your own words, it's sounds like she's been very selfless and helpful. You're the selfish one.

realstareyes − YTA. She had something going on that was important for her & her future, and they‘re your children. She‘s right.

She‘s more of a parent then you because providing an income isn‘t the same as actual parenting.

You‘re basically letting her to a 24/7 job to avoid taking responsibility yourself.

vailissia − Hahahhahahahahahahhahaaha YTA your girlfriend is not their mother in any capacity because she

a) isn’t married to you and b) hasn’t adopted them mAkInG mOnEy isn’t parenting. It’s just one of those pesky adult responsibilities.

calling her selfish for the one time she decided to do something for herself when she called you out for lack of parenting and you responded by holding money over...

when she decided to level the playing field financially, you sought to actively sabotage her My brother in Christ, you’ve got so many red flags

I thought the Fire Nation had struck again.

CheeseAndPasta97 − YTA. You knew she was going to her job interview.

They are your children, so you should of made plans for your children to be picked up, not her!

What did you expect her to skip her interview to pick then, up? Are you crazy? Proving 'income' doesn't make you a parent.

Its being there and actually being responsible for them instead of getting others to solve your issues.

Icy-Cherry-8143 − So you provide the income and that makes you more of a parent? also the way you wanted to sabotage her interview YTA

[Reddit User] − YTA. They are your kids not your girlfriend’s. The fact that you say, “not true since I provide an income” doesn’t mean your the parent.

Sounds like she’s correct and parents then more than you. You knew she had an interview for a job and never made arrangements for YOUR kids.

You expected her to do it. You’re selfish because you’ve basically dumped your kids on your girlfriend and expect her to absolve you of any responsibility.

She can’t just be late for an interview. What is wrong with you? You’re a massive AH. Go be an actual parent.

This group says the girlfriend isn’t the children’s mother and OP alone holds responsibility

DutchDisputax − YTA. You are calling her selfish for not parenting YOUR kids. Besides, her job is in no way less important than yours. Your kids are your responsibility.

rockpaperscissors67 − YTA If you can't be bothered with taking responsibility for YOUR children on the one day your gf has something important to do, get a nanny.

I suspect you're one of those guys that just got into a relationship to pawn your kids off on someone else.

You obviously need to do more parenting than providing an income since it sounds like your kids are out of hand.

procrastinating_b − I think your the selfish one, they are your children not hers.

Why would you try to sabotage her interview? Other than wanting to continue with fee childcare.

[Reddit User] − YTA Looks like these kids not only don’t have their mom in the picture but also their bio dad too.

Being a parent is more than providing income and you knew she had an interview.

RidgyFan78 − Hang on a sec INFO. Did your GF leave it to the very last minute to tell you she had a job interview at that time?

Or had she mentioned it earlier? She's right. You are the parent.

And it is wrong for you to presume she will be a step-in-parent at your beck and call.

These commenters believe OP tried to block her job opportunity to keep her doing unpaid childcare

Jocelyn-1973 − YTA. Wow. She had a job interview. You already have a job AND they are your children.

Of course you should have taken a break from your job. Or you should have arranged something else. Your GF was NOT available that day.

And no wonder she is getting a job if you refuse to do more than 'help out here and there' and hold over her head that you are more of...

Once she gets the job, you will probably need to do 50% of the household tasks and 100% of the parenting.

You are just trying to sabotage her to prevent that from happening.

somesketchyshit − YTA. She's getting a job because she is DONE. You've fucked this one up.

She's not the parent. You are. Your babysitter is heading for the exit.

[Reddit User] − YTA. It’s simply amazing that you wrote all this out and can’t see that. Did you even read what you wrote? Read it out loud to yourself.

Do it again. Now do you hear yourself being an entitled AH? Your lack of insight is appalling.

It’s time for you to figure out how to parent, because you are going to be single very soon.

When you strip this situation down, it’s less about one school pickup and more about a relationship stretched thin by uneven expectations. The OP thought financial support equaled equal parenting, while his girlfriend felt pushed into a full-time mom role she never signed up for.

The missed pickup was just the spark that exposed a much deeper imbalance. Do you think the OP’s ultimatum and anger were justified, or did he overlook his own responsibility as the kids’ actual parent?

And if you were in her place during that interview, what would you have done? Sound off below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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