When family secrets start unraveling, it can get uncomfortable. Take this 17-year-old, for example, who recently found out that his biological father is the man who had affairs with his mother’s friends. After the DNA test confirmed his paternity, things didn’t exactly get any easier.
One day, the dad tried to tell him what books were appropriate to read, and the teen, understandably frustrated, snapped back with, “No child support, no opinion.” Did he cross the line, or was he just standing his ground? Read on to see how this family drama unfolds.
A teenager tells her newly discovered father ‘No child support, no opinion’ after he criticizes her choice of reading material
In complicated family situations, respect and emotional connection often matter more than biology. In this case, the OP is navigating a relationship with a biological father who, until recently, denied him.
That father’s attempt to assert authority over the OP’s personal choices (telling him what he can read) triggered a sharp, loaded response: “No child support, no opinion.” Given their history, that reaction carries more emotional weight than many outsiders might assume.
Scholars studying parent‑child emotional dynamics show that when a parent, biological or not, fails to provide emotional support, validation, and presence, children often grow up feeling emotionally neglected. That neglect can leave a lasting sense of distance, insecurity, and even resentment.
One theory often cited in family psychology is the concept of “meta‑emotion philosophy,” developed by John Gottman and colleagues. This refers to how a parent understands, validates, and responds to both their own emotions and their child’s emotions over time.
Parents who frequently dismiss, ignore, or devalue a child’s emotional experiences tend to create children who struggle with emotional regulation, self‑esteem, and trust.
In simpler terms, when a parent isn’t emotionally present, they don’t earn the kind of respect or authority that might give them a real “say” in a child’s personal life. Without emotional presence and consistent support, and especially if that parent reappears late in life trying to assert control, the emotional and psychological basis for that authority can feel hollow to the child.
Given the father’s long denial of paternity and lack of emotional or financial support, the OP had no prior bond that would create trust or a sense of paternal authority.
For him, the demand to abandon his personal choice of reading material felt like an unearned exertion of control, especially given their complicated past. His response was harsh, but emotionally understandable. He protected himself against what felt like an intrusion into his autonomy and identity.
This kind of self-protection isn’t unusual. Research on emotionally neglected children, even into adulthood, shows that many grow up with a sense of alienation or detachment from parents who were distant or unsupportive.
Moreover, attempts by a parent to demand respect solely based on biological connection, without earning it through empathy, reliability, or emotional investment, often backfire. As one article on parent‑adult child relationships puts it: respect doesn’t come just because you’re a parent. It comes because you’ve shown respect and support.
Could things have been handled differently?
Ideally, bridging the emotional distance with honest dialogue might have opened the door to gradual trust-building. But that requires both sides to approach the relationship with humility, acknowledgement of past neglect, and willingness to listen. In many cases of late, but shocking parental emergence, that foundation simply isn’t there.
Given the emotional neglect and the sudden demand for authority, the OP’s response could be viewed less as rebellion or disrespect and more as a boundary‑setting act. Boundaries can feel rough, especially when delivered bluntly. But sometimes that bluntness reflects deep, long‑held pain and defensive self‑protection.
Check out how the community responded:
These Redditors supported OP’s stance, stating that the father lost the right to parent after years of absence, emphasizing that he needs to earn his place in their life now
![[Reddit User] − NTA at all. He may be your father, but he isn't your dad. Also, wtf?](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/wp-editor-1765012181814-1.webp "Dad Denied Her For 17 Years, Then Tried To Control What She Does—She Hit Him With ‘No Child Support, No Opinion’")
This group suggested legal action, with one advising OP to consider suing for back child support
These commenters echoed the sentiment that the father is more of a “sp**m donor” than a parent
![[Reddit User] − NTA. He’s a sperm donor, not a father. The audacity to think he has any right to parent at this point.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/wp-editor-1765012194576-9.webp "Dad Denied Her For 17 Years, Then Tried To Control What She Does—She Hit Him With ‘No Child Support, No Opinion’")
This group either criticized the mother’s actions or added personal commentary
OP’s response was sharp, but it was also a moment of emotional release. Her father’s sudden reentry into her life, with an air of authority, called for boundaries and OP delivered them unapologetically.
Do you think her father deserved the cold shoulder after years of absence, or was she too harsh in her response? How would you have handled it? Share your thoughts below!
