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Dad Gives MIL A Fake Address After Her “Gifts” Keep Shaming His Daughter

by Annie Nguyen
December 31, 2025
in Social Issues

There is a difference between guidance and judgment, especially when it comes from someone who refuses to see the harm they cause.

When children are involved, even small comments can carry enormous weight, shaping how they see themselves long after the words are spoken. Parents who notice those changes often feel trapped between keeping the peace and doing what they believe is right.

In this case, a long-standing tension between a father and his mother-in-law resurfaces around his daughter’s birthday. After a past incident left the girl struggling with her relationship to food, the father took steps to limit outside influence.

When an unexpected request for their address came through, he chose a path that was both secretive and deliberate. What followed raised uncomfortable questions about intention, boundaries, and whether protection sometimes looks like deception. Read on to find out what arrived at the door and why it changed everything.

A father gives his MIL a fake address after past gifts quietly hurt his teen daughter

Dad Gives MIL A Fake Address After Her “Gifts” Keep Shaming His Daughter
no the actual photo

'AITA for giving my MIL the wrong address so she could no longer send her granddaughter gifts?'

I [42m] have been married to my wife [39f] for 15 years. We have a wonderful 14-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son.

My wife's mother has some views that I don't agree with.

Two years ago, for our daughter's 12th birthday, she sent her a book about crash dieting that promised something like 10 pounds of weight loss in three days.

Our daughter was devastated because the underlying message was clear as day.

It was a month until she started eating a whole plate of food for dinner again.

Our daughter is a healthy girl. She is highly active, studious, and most importantly, happy.

Her grandmother believes that she's not reaching her "full potential," whatever that means, and thinks that she'll be on the front covers of magazines if she can just shed some...

Since she made these views clear to me, I have made it my mission to block any unsupervised contact, and this includes gifts.

About a month ago, with my daughter's upcoming 14th birthday, Grandma texted me asking for our new address.

Normally she would ask my wife, but since she didn't answer within 10 minutes, she texted me instead.

My wife would have given her our real address, but I was able to respond first with a fake one and tell my wife no response was necessary.

I couldn't guarantee that I'd be home to intercept any gifts, and my daughter would open something addressed to her.

It gave her some numbers/a street somewhere that I wasn't even sure existed.

A couple of weeks later, after my daughter's birthday, I realized that it did not in fact exist as her package was returned to her.

Both she and my wife were furious, and my wife amended the address I gave her before. Grandma insisted it was a completely innocent package.

Well, the day it was scheduled for delivery, I decided to work from home.

When it arrived I opened it up and found a baton twirling uniform (my daughter's hobby). Sound innocent enough?

It was at least two sizes too small. I sat my wife down with the stupid thing in front of us and said it was clearly intentional, which my wife...

Now she and her mother are even madder at me for throwing the uniform into the neighbor's garbage (with the neighbor's permission). Did I handle this correctly?

Sometimes the most damaging harm to a child does not come from obvious cruelty but from repeated messages disguised as concern. When adults project their fears or ideals onto young people, the impact can quietly reshape how a child sees their own worth, long before anyone realizes what is happening.

In this situation, the father was not simply lying about an address or throwing away a gift. He was reacting to the memory of watching his daughter struggle after a previous “present” undermined her relationship with food and self-image.

For him, the issue was not a single item but a pattern. Each gift represented a reminder that his daughter’s body was being judged by someone who claimed love. His actions came from a place of urgency, driven by fear that another seemingly small moment could undo the progress his child had made.

A different way to view his behavior is through the lens of parental threat perception. While some may see deception and overreach, others may recognize a protective instinct that activates when a parent senses emotional danger. Research shows that fathers and mothers sometimes respond differently to perceived harm.

One may prioritize maintaining family harmony, while the other focuses on eliminating the source of risk entirely. In this case, the father chose control over compromise, not to punish his mother-in-law, but to reduce exposure to a trigger he believed his daughter could not safely navigate on her own.

Mental health experts emphasize that body-focused comments and pressure can have lasting consequences for adolescents.

According to the American Psychological Association, repeated messages about weight, dieting, or appearance are significant risk factors for body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors in children and teens.

The APA explains that even well-intentioned remarks from trusted adults can contribute to anxiety, shame, and unhealthy relationships with food, particularly during early adolescence when self-concept is still forming

Interpreted through this framework, the father’s response becomes less about dishonesty and more about harm prevention. Having already witnessed his daughter withdraw from eating after an earlier gift, he likely viewed the upcoming birthday as a critical moment.

The too-small uniform reinforced his belief that the grandmother’s intentions were not neutral, regardless of how they were framed.

His wife’s reluctance to acknowledge intent may stem from a desire to preserve her relationship with her mother, while he prioritized immediate emotional safety over long-term family peace.

Ultimately, this situation highlights how protection and trust can clash within families. A more sustainable path forward may involve shifting from covert control to explicit boundaries that are clearly enforced by both parents.

When adults align around a child’s well-being and take concerns about body image seriously, they reduce the likelihood that protection will require secrecy. Sometimes, the healthiest outcome is not proving who was right, but creating conditions where a child no longer has to be defended from the people meant to care for them.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

These commenters blamed the wife for enabling harm and urged her to step up

Own-Blackberry2647 − NTA. You don't have a MIL problem. You have a wife problem.

It's time for you and your wife to have an honest discussion about how she views your daughter's weight.

SummerOracle − NTA. Your wife is disrespecting your values as the other parent, and your daughter’s mental well-being, in order to enable her mother’s incredibly disgusting behavior.

You’ve already experienced the damage it did previously, your wife is being irresponsible by allowing it to happen again.

She needs her eyes opened to the harm she’s opening her daughter to.

Pitiful_Standard_808 − I would be scared that if your wife isn’t backing you up on this is she also telling your daughter these things when you’re not there?

Equivalent_Pear_7328 − NTA. You are trying to protect your daughter from an abusive grandma who sounds like she’s doing everything in her power to give your daughter an eating disorder.

It sounds like your wife is in denial about the situation or (even worse) condones your MIL’s behavior.

That said, you and your wife definitely need to work on your communication. Couple’s counseling may be something to look into.

These users backed OP but pushed for better communication or safer solutions

Popular-Emu7380 − So. I applaud you standing up for and protecting your daughter. For that, you are NTA.

While people are quick to say you are, as you didn’t communicate with your wife given that she refuses to see an issue

with her mother doing this, i disagree with Reddit and you are NTA there, as well.

Bravo to you for prioritizing your daughter. She needs someone in her corner, for sure.

That being said, I would make an appointment for couples counseling, and talk to the counselor specifically about this issue, how your wife doesn’t have concerns with it.

You two do need to communicate, and get on the same page. Your MiL needs to stop bullying and body shaming your daughter, who sounds like a normal, healthy child.

MIL can go pound sand. I would go as far as to talk to your daughter - does she even want to see MiL? Otherwise,go low / no contact.

ValhallaSpeaking − Oof dude. I want to scream NTA since you're looking out for your daughter but the way you went about this is a lil shady.

I'll stick to that judgement, but please do communicate more with you wife.

If she doesn't accept your points start to document your MILs weird behaviour.

Express-Zucchini6177 − NTA. your MIL is trying to get your daughter to have an eating disorder.

You need to protect her from that However, the way you went about it was wrong. It was always only going to work once.

What you need is something that is the equivalent of a post office box or a parcel locker that you can give your MIL

(might be a bit late now though). That way you can be sure to intercept any presents and vet them for safety.

These Redditors strongly cheered OP for protecting his daughter’s mental health

[Reddit User] − NTA - Mom and Granny seem determined to psychologically damage your daughter, in spite of your best efforts to be a responsible parent.

Maybe you need to have a serious discussion with your daughter about how to ignore ignorant and hurtful people.

Upbeat-Mycologist967 − NTA. Your MIL is actively trying to hurt your daughter and you are trying to protect her from developing an eating disorder or other mental health issues.

As a woman, this kind of garbage was forced on me and all my friends and I wish we had a dad like you looking out for us.

OrcEight − NTA Sir, you are a hero for protecting your daughter like this. Edit: Thank you kind Reddit stranger for this very cool award!

anxious_papaya_ − NTA x2638392 I am 22 years old and only now am I starting to mentally recover from MINOR comments about my weight as a child.

Absolutely no child deserves to be made to feel insecure about how they look, and those comments will be with them their entire life.

Absolutely do whatever you have to do to shield her from that

This group urged firm boundaries and direct confrontation to stop body shaming

a-_rose − NTA she’s weight shaming your daughter on purpose and your wife is encouraging it.

Be an adult and tell her these gift are not welcome and until she realises her viewpoint is unhealthy and will not be tolerated she’s not allowed to buy gifts...

Particular_Elk3022 − NTA You need to keep having this conversation with your wife every time "gramma"

talks about your daughter's appearance, weight, looks and her own special dreams for your child.

She was raised by this witch so it might take a while for it to sink in how abusive this is.

This commenter shared personal trauma to highlight long-term damage of weight shaming

heyyahri − Is your wife and her family Asian? I ask this because my Asian family does this s__t to me all the time. This obsession with size is awful.

You need to talk to your daughter. Then your daughter, you and your wife need to have a conversation about how these gifts affects your daughter's self-esteem, self-image and confidence.

If your wife doesn't understand it from her child's perspective, then I'm sorry but she is not a good mother.

From the fat child of a f__phobic mother Edit: I'm not saying fatphobia is exclusive to Asians.

I'm just saying I'm Asian and I get treated like s__t by my whole family for being over 200 lbs and under 5'5".

This just triggered me. But fatphobia and fat shaming are not Asian exclusive.

This story left readers torn between applauding a father’s fierce protection and questioning the fallout of his methods. Many sympathized with his urgency, especially given the lasting scars body-focused comments can leave.

Still, others felt the real battle lies ahead between spouses who must decide what boundaries truly matter. Was the fake address a necessary shield or a risky shortcut?

And how far should a parent go when family refuses to listen? What would you have done in his place? Sound off below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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