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Heartbroken Dad Moves Out After Mom’s Affair, Keeps Himself Quiet To Protect His Children

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A devoted dad, shattered by betrayal, faced his crumbling world after 22 years and three kids when his wife’s work-trip fling came to light. To shield his teens and young adult, he moved out, blaming faded feelings, but a chance run-in with that guy ripped open old scars.

Now, wrestling with whether to tell his kids the raw truth, he’s caught between pain and protection. Reddit’s AITA is ablaze, debating if spilling the tea heals or hurts in this family drama.

Husband finds out wife’s affair, moves out but tells children nothing with a view to protecting them.

Heartbroken Dad Moves Out After Mom's Affair, Keeps Himself Quiet To Protect His Children
Not the actual photo.

'WIBTA if I told our kids the real reason i moved out?'

Ok so this is gonna hurt. Me (m40) my wife (44) together 22 years, married for 12.

Three absolutely wonderful kids although there not children any more 21, 19 and 15.

A year ago my wife goes on her annual work training week away. Not unusual has done for the last 5 years.

We spoke the Monday but not the Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday but again on the Friday.

Again not unusual she gets real busy and has a lot to take in.

So I pick my wife up in the Saturday afternoon from her work place. We have a big cuddle and make the drive home.

However, my wife is quiet, a little unusual but I put it down to being tired. So the weekend passes and I can tell there’s something on her mind.

Monday morning arrives and the house telephone rings, now only a couple of my oldest friends ring the house phone.

I take the call. My wife in earshot hears my side of the call. Hello. Ah hello buddy how you been? Yes, yes, oh really.

No I’m still here, an when was that again? No I had absolutely no idea. Well thanks for letting me know. Bye

I look to my wife and say. Ok so I now know, did you not think I’d find out. Look I’m not angry I just want to know why you...

I was not expecting what happened next. My heart broke there and then an I felt every single bit of it.

My wife started to cry and tell me how sorry she was, it was a mistake, it never meant anything.

We were drinking and one thing led to another and it just happened. So the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday my wife spent with another man, a work colleague from a...

After a lot of talking and getting more information. I say so you had s__ and spent the night in another man’s bed.

Her response was I’m so sorry I didn’t spend the night it was like 10mins each time. That’s how I found out it was 3 times.

That hurt, hurt real bad. So for 30 mins of cheap thrills, me an our kids weren’t a thought, we weren’t enough for her to stop what she was doing....

Wednesday comes and we sit down with all the kids and I tell them I’m moving out.

The reasons I give is that I don’t feel the same way about their mother as I did before and haven’t for a long time (not true).

It’s unfair on all of us if I continue to act as normal when I don’t feel this way plus you guys will start to notice differences and it’s really...

I move out to our flat the other side of the city and for 6 months I cry every f__king night.

My wife and I talk an I start to move forward to where I am now. Or where I was until 2 days ago. "Why now? Why after a year...

"I’ll tell you. I’m hurting, hurting so so bad. Everything I’ve done, everything I put myself through to get to this point

where I’m in a positive place, all that time it took me as destroyed in a chance 10 seconds.

I was in a part of the country I’ve never been, never wanted to go and never will again. I was doing a favour for my boss."

Whilst sat at some traffic lights I look to the car on the right and there in the passenger seat looking at me was the guy. He’s not even from...

I confirmed it was him when the look of fear consumed his face. I wanted to hurt this guy but I did nothing but continue my journey home.

When I tell you I remember nothing of the 4hr drive back I mean it, not a damn thing but when sat at my kitchen table it hit me, so...

Everything I had, everything I worked for the one love of my life. Gone.

WIBTA if I told the kids why now. Or is this just because I’m hurting and I want everyone to see it.

I lied to them, I didn’t want them resenting their mum, the bond a relationship the kids have with her is beautiful

and I never wanna ruin that but I hurt bad an want my wife to feel how bad.

My wife hasn’t moved on, she still cry’s a lot an asks me to come home but I can’t.

I loved her, still love her but will never love her the same way again.

A life-long marriage could be shattered by just a few minutes of fling. This heartbroken Dad’s story is an example of navigating betrayal while trying to keep the family ship afloat.

His wife’s brief affair, three fleeting encounters over a work trip, shattered a 22-year partnership. He moved out, citing a vague loss of feelings to protect his kids’ bond with their mom. Noble? Sure. Sustainable? Maybe not. Now, a year later, seeing that guy at a traffic light has him spiraling, questioning whether to tell his kids the truth.

On one side, Dad’s instinct to shield his kids shows a fierce commitment to their emotional well-being. He’s swallowed his pain to preserve their view of Mom, which is no small feat when you’re crying every night.

On the other hand, his vague excuse risks leaving the kids, especially the older ones, confused or even resentful. The 21- and 19-year-olds might sense the gaps in his story, while the 15-year-old could misinterpret Dad’s exit as abandonment. Honesty could clarify, but it might also fracture their mom’s sacred bond with them.

This story taps into a broader issue: how families navigate infidelity’s fallout. A 2023 study from the Institute for Family Studies found that 20% of marriages face infidelity, with 70% of affected couples attempting reconciliation.

Dad’s hesitation reflects a common fear: disrupting kids’ stability. Yet, as psychologist Dr. Shirley Glass noted in Not “Just Friends” (2003), “Secrecy fuels mistrust. Open communication, even when painful, fosters healing.”

Her insight suggests truth-telling could empower the kids to process the split, but timing matters. Dad’s raw pain might cloud his delivery.

So, what’s the play? A calm, factual talk with the older kids could clear the air, emphasizing Mom’s mistake without vilifying her. For the 15-year-old, a gentler approach might work, perhaps with a therapist’s guidance. Neutrality is key. Spilling the beans to hurt Mom would backfire.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Some believe the children deserve the truth about the divorce to understand the situation.

TimeEnvironmental687 − As a child of divorced parents the worse thing you can do is lie about the reason for the divorce.

They are all old enough to know the truth.

electric29 − You already lied to them telling them that it was your lack of feelings "for a long time", so you really should be honest.

Not to hurt your ex. But your kids should know it was HER and not you.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your kids are old enough to know the truth and they deserve to know why their lives blew up.

Don’t let the 15 year think you just blew up his high school years because you were tired of his mom. Tell them the truth.

ccl-now − You should have told them in the first place. Factually, kindly and as unemotionally as possible.

You're not trashing their mum, you're telling them the truth. How can they form valid opinions, have honest conversations with either of you

or develop appropriate responses if they don't have the relevant facts?

They were all old enough. It would have been difficult at the time, especially for your wife, but those are the consequences of her actions.

It would be equally difficult for her now, but even more so for you because you'll have all the "why has it taken you a year to tell us" stuff.

I'm not saying don't do it, your adult children have a right to know why their parents split up.

But I am as curious as they will be to know why you've kept the truth hidden for a year.

Others emphasize the importance of honesty to counter the ex-spouse’s narrative.

bramblefish − NTA when a spouse cheats, at some time the lying must stop.

Decisions and consequences - in the cheating spouses case is the families and friends knowing the truth.

Feisty_Irish − YWNBTA if you told them. You don't know what your wife is telling them. Someone needs to be honest with them.

One person advises careful consideration, especially for the younger child.

dat-truth − This is so hard to read, and I am SO sorry this happened to you.

The only answer for this should come from within. You are thinking well about this, as you weigh the pros and cons.

What advice would you give to someone asking the same question? Do what feels right to you and have faith in that choice.

The adult children can handle the news, but only you know if the 15 year old should hear it now.

Notably, the OP recounts the furniture call that led to the revelation in the comment section.

[Reddit User] − Firstly, thank you all for your responses, it’s actually very overwhelming.

I know what I need to do but not now. Not when I’m like this it’s just not right.

Also I must clarify the call. Yes I said only a couple of my oldest friends ring the house phone.

This call wasn’t from a friend. The call was from *****. Now ***** is our go to guy when we want a specific piece of furniture for the home, has...

A couple of weeks before her trip we had been looking a a very expensive piece of furniture.

After long discussions we both decided that we would NOT purchase this.

The call from ***** was to inform me that said piece of furniture had arrived at there store,

but unfortunately the delivery date would be 2 days later than originally planned and he wanted to let us know this in advance:

"The chesterfield has arrived. Unfortunately we’re gonna have to delay the delivery until such date."

I paused. "Yes I’m here I had no idea. And when was that again. Thanks for letting me know."

I can only assume my wife also thought this was a friend filling me in on what’s happened and her guilt was to much to handle.

I was not expecting happened next. I was expecting something like I know you really liked it so I went ahead and brought it as a surprise. Some f__king surprise...

Heartbroken Dad’s tale is a raw reminder that love can be a battlefield, with truth as both weapon and shield.

After shielding his kids from their mom’s affair, he’s now grappling with whether honesty is worth the risk.

Do you think he’s right to consider telling his kids the truth, or is his pain clouding his judgment?

How would you balance protecting your kids with owning your truth? Drop your thoughts!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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