Dad Refuses To Apologize For Homeschooling His Son, Even After He Calls It A “Horrible Childhood

Raising children involves making decisions that seem right at the time, but later leave room for regret or reevaluation.

This father thought homeschooling his son, Colin, was the best path, offering a high standard of education and a flexible lifestyle.

But Colin, now in his 20s, is questioning the choice, feeling he missed out on the social life his older siblings enjoyed through private school.

When confronted about the decision, the father refused to agree that homeschooling was a mistake.

The OP homeschooled his youngest son (Colin), believing it offered superior education and more time together.

The older siblings benefited from private school; when Colin voiced that his childhood felt lacking, “no friends, no social circle,” he argued, his father pushed back, refusing to concede that the decision was wrong.

On one side stands the father’s confidence in his choice: his wife is a certified teacher, he allocated more unstructured time for Colin, involved him in sports and activities, and believed the homeschooling model was the best fit given finances and values.

He sees his son’s complaint as rooted in comparison rather than genuine deficiency.

On the opposite side sits Colin’s lived feeling of deficit, he perceives social opportunity as having been limited, and now resents that gap. He wants the father to “admit” the homeschooling was a poor decision; the father cannot do so in good conscience.

When we step back, a broader social conversation emerges around homeschooling and its effect on family dynamics, social development and life trajectory.

Research indicates that while many homeschooled children do well, the key variable often lies in how homeschooling is implemented rather than simply that it is used.

For example, one summary notes: “Most of this research finds that being homeschooled does not harm children’s development of social skills … in fact, some research finds that homeschooled children score more highly than children who attend school on measurements of socialization.”

At the same time, scholars caution that studies are limited and samples biased.

If a child feels deprived or isolated, the model itself isn’t the issue, what matters is the translation of the model into daily life, peer‑interaction, community involvement, and validation of that child’s experience.

The father clearly believed he was providing opportunity, yet the son’s perception diverged. The gap between parental intention and child interpretation is exactly the type of nuance that professional observers highlight.

Dr. Richard G. Medlin, after studying homeschooled children, concluded: “Homeschooled children are certainly no worse than those attending conventional schools, and are probably better” (p. 116)

In this case, that quote underscores the father’s belief that Colin’s homeschooling offered real educational and social viability.

But the nuance is, Medlin adds “probably better” under conditions of adequate social‐support, interaction opportunities, and parent engagement. In other words, it’s less about the “home” in homeschooling and more about the “social ecology” around the child.

The father should not feel compelled to admit fault if he truly believes his decision was right, but he should acknowledge Colin’s feelings.

Saying something like: “I hear how isolated you felt and regret you experienced things that way” doesn’t concede that homeschooling was a bad idea, but affirms the son’s lived experience.

They should open a dialogue: ask Colin what he feels he missed, what he would have done differently, and whether there’s a way to address that now (clubs, social networks, mentoring, shared adult activities).

Establishing a bridge between the father’s viewpoint and Colin’s feelings is key, perhaps they co‑create a plan for his future social/educational/emotional growth rather than focusing on past choices.

If homeschooling is questioned, the father could reflect: Were there peer‑group opportunities orchestrated? How did he assess the social circle built? And that reflection may open fresh understanding without needing to reverse the decision.

If Colin remains in “funk,” a neutral suggestion is to consider a professional counselling conversation, sometimes the pain isn’t just about schooling, but about identity, comparison, and self‑esteem, the schooling is a manifestation not the root.

In the end, the father firmly believes that homeschooling provided his son with a strong education, rich time together and flexibility.

His son, however, perceives that he lacked the social network his older siblings enjoyed, and that disconnect has become a source of anger and sadness.

While the father refuses to admit the choice was wrong, what matters now is not who was right, but how they move forward, by validating the son’s feelings, opening honest conversation, and building connection rather than maintaining a stalemate.

The core message is clear: intention matters, but so does lived experience, and acknowledging both is the only path to genuine repair.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

These commenters roasted OP for assuming his son should have asked for socialization opportunities when it was clearly OP’s responsibility to ensure his son’s social development while homeschooling.

These users agreed that OP’s failure to let his son experience normal schooling or social activities left him isolated and negatively impacted his emotional growth.

These Redditors backed the notion that OP’s failure to validate his son’s feelings is a major part of the problem, with OP’s defensive attitude making the situation worse.

This situation highlights the tough balance between being a parent who stands firm in their decisions and trying to understand the emotional impact on a child.

The Redditor clearly believes they did what was best for Colin, offering him a strong education and a good life. However, it’s hard to ignore the deeper feelings of isolation that Colin is now grappling with.

Was it worth not backing down to your child’s criticism, or should the Redditor have admitted that maybe, just maybe, some part of the experience didn’t go as planned? Let us know your thoughts below!