One Redditor thought he was being practical. Instead, the internet thinks he might be controlling—and kind of embarrassing. What began as a fun group vacation turned into an argument over ramen, respect, and whether portion sizes should come with relationship rules.
The poster (19M) has been covering the cost of a trip for his girlfriend Vivian (19F) and two friends. So far, so good. But the problem? Vivian doesn’t eat a lot. And as a self-described “lover of good food,” he hates waste. On one night, knowing the restaurant served huge portions, he asked Vivian to order something smaller. She didn’t. She left most of it uneaten. He got annoyed. Then came the awkward moment: he asked her—in front of friends—if she’d “listen” next time.
Now she’s hurt. He’s wondering if he did something wrong. And Reddit? Reddit has opinions.
A young man asked his girlfriend to order a smaller meal to avoid wasting food—specifically suggesting the kid’s menu
At first glance, this might seem like a well-intentioned complaint about food waste. But dig a little deeper, and what you’ll find is a conversation about control, social expectations, and the subtle ways people shame others for how they eat—especially women.
Dr. Marcia Herrin, founder of Dartmouth’s College Eating Disorders Program, wrote in The Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders that “comments about portion size—even casual ones—can create shame, embarrassment, and disordered relationships with food.”
So telling your girlfriend to eat less—even if it’s about money or leftovers—can unintentionally reinforce anxiety or insecurity, especially in public settings.
Also, let’s talk about autonomy. Vivian is 19. She’s legally and emotionally capable of choosing her own meal. When her boyfriend said, “Will you listen to me next time?”—he turned a dinner choice into a disciplinary moment. And that shifts the conversation from food to power.
According to NSW Government, small controlling behaviors—like commenting on someone’s meal or pressuring them to eat less—can be early red flags in romantic dynamics. They aren’t always abusive, but they do “chip away at a partner’s sense of independence.”
Now, let’s be fair—his concern about food waste is valid. According to the FDA, 30–40% of the US food supply is wasted, often from restaurant leftovers. But that issue has real solutions: share meals, take leftovers, or communicate better—without publicly lecturing someone.
And suggesting she order from the kid’s menu? That’s not just awkward—it’s unrealistic. Many restaurants don’t allow adults to order from it, and even when they do, it can feel infantilizing. Telling someone to eat like a child because they’re “small” doesn’t show care. It shows you’re thinking more about plates than people.
Reddit’s foodies roasted OP, calling his kid’s menu push a bitter dish
These users slammed OP for humiliating Vivian in front of friends
![[Reddit User] − YTA “Now next time will you listen to me? ” What a demeaning & condescending thing to say to her. You bought her ramen, not a car she is trashing. If you are worried about waste, get the left overs to go. She’s an adult & she can order whatever she likes, even if you are paying. You are either paying because you want to no strings, or you are doing it to be controlling & police what & how she eats. If it’s the latter, you are double YTA.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/45485-12.jpg "Man Asks His Girlfriend To Order From The Kid's Menu So She Doesn't Waste Food")
These Redditors offered food waste fixes without control
This group saw the Redditor’s actions as controlling, not just thrifty
This wasn’t about ramen. It was about respect. And the difference between sharing preferences and trying to parent your partner. He may not have meant harm, but that doesn’t mean his girlfriend didn’t feel it.
So what do you think? Was he being financially responsible—or just patronizing? And does “paying for everything” come with the right to police someone’s plate? Sound off in the comments—no leftovers needed.
