Imagine this: after years of struggling in school, feeling out of place socially, and battling internal doubts, you decide to finally get tested. The assessments come back clear – autism and ADHD.
But here’s the kicker: it turns out your parents have known about these diagnoses since you were six years old. They never told you.
That’s the gut-wrenching reality one Redditor faced after spending a staggering $2300 on assessments at university, only to find out that their medical history had been kept secret all along.
Their parents said they wanted to “protect” them from stigma and hardship, but the cost was a lifetime of confusion, missed support, and needless struggle.
When the Redditor asked for the money back, arguing their parents’ silence had caused this expensive detour, the family exploded, branding the request rude and blaming the Redditor’s autism for being “difficult.”
A Costly Diagnosis Drama – Here’s The Orignal Post:
The Story Unfolded: A Secret That Cost Thousands
Our Redditor’s journey is one of painful discovery. Growing up, they wrestled with challenges at school: difficulty focusing, anxiety around peers, and an unshakable feeling of being “different.” Teachers suggested counseling, but without a formal diagnosis, support was limited. Social situations felt like code they couldn’t crack.
Deciding to take control in university, they spent over $2300 for professional assessments to finally understand what was going on. The results confirmed what they suspected: autism and ADHD. Relief was mixed with shock when their parents admitted they had known since early childhood.
The parents explained they hid the diagnosis to spare the child from stigma and the “label” they feared would hold them back. But the Redditor saw it differently – those years without accommodations were lost time, and the financial burden of the late diagnosis was unfair.
So they asked for reimbursement. That request triggered an emotional uproar. The family accused the Redditor of ingratitude, called the demand rude, and claimed the autism made it hard for them to understand family dynamics.
Expert Perspectives: The Importance of Transparency and Early Intervention
The Redditor’s frustration resonates with many who face delayed diagnoses. According to a 2023 study by the National Autistic Society, about 70% of autistic youth without early diagnosis suffer significant mental health issues due to lack of support.
Early intervention can mean access to accommodations, therapy, and understanding environments – advantages that shape life outcomes profoundly.
Keeping a diagnosis secret, even with protective intentions, can backfire. Psychologist Dr. Russell Barkley, an expert on ADHD and neurodevelopmental disorders, emphasizes:
“Transparency empowers individuals to access resources, understand themselves, and build resilience. Without it, struggles can compound, and opportunities for support are missed.”
In this case, the parents’ secrecy denied their child access to medications, counseling, and school accommodations that could have eased the academic and social pressures. The financial cost of having to re-diagnose in adulthood is an unfortunate but real burden.
The Family Fallout: When Protection Feels Like Betrayal
The emotional fallout is complex. The parents felt they acted out of love, trying to shield their child from societal stigma. But the Redditor experienced that silence as a form of neglect and gaslighting – being told their feelings and struggles were “imaginary” or “overblown.”
Asking for money back wasn’t just about the dollars; it was about demanding accountability and acknowledgment of the pain caused by years of misinformation. Yet the family’s reaction – calling the request rude and blaming the autism itself – reflects a deeper communication breakdown.
Moving Forward: Healing, Boundaries, and Support
Money aside, this family needs dialogue and healing. A calm, honest sit-down could allow each side to express hurt and intentions. Setting clear boundaries around respect and openness is vital for rebuilding trust.
For the Redditor, university disability services can offer accommodations, and counseling can help process these complex emotions. Leaning on support groups with others who experienced late diagnoses may also bring comfort and perspective.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
These redditors agree that the person was not the AH, highlighting their right to access their own medical information and make decisions about their care.
They criticize the parents for withholding important details, pointing out how this caused harm and stunted growth, and they encourage standing firm and seeking the support they deserve.
These commenters strongly agree that the person is NTA, emphasizing how crucial it is to know one’s own medical diagnosis for proper support and accommodations.
Secrets, Support, and Standing Up for Yourself
This Redditor’s story reveals the hidden cost of family secrets, lost time, missed support, and emotional wounds that run deep.
Asking for financial accountability sparked family conflict but also spotlighted a critical issue: the importance of honesty, transparency, and early intervention in neurodevelopmental diagnoses.
If you faced a similar secret, would you seek answers, support, or restitution? How would you navigate the delicate balance between protecting loved ones and empowering them?
Drop your thoughts below and keep the conversation alive because sometimes, the toughest battles start with the truth.
