Ex-Dealer Wrestles With Guilt Over Attending Addict’s Funeral

Imagine carrying the weight of introducing someone to heroin, only to learn years later that they overdosed and died. That’s the gut-wrenching reality for a 26-year-old man, three years clean, who got his former girlfriend, Marcy, hooked on drugs.

After she reached out last year, newly sober and forgiving, he hoped she’d stay clean. But his sister broke the news of Marcy’s fatal OD, and now he’s torn about attending her funeral to pay respects quietly.

Fearing he’d be unwelcome due to his role in her addiction, he wonders if wanting to go makes him an a**hole. Is his desire to mourn selfish, or human? Let’s unpack this somber struggle.

This Reddit saga blends addiction’s scars, personal redemption, and funeral etiquette. His guilt is raw, but would showing up cross a line?

 

Addiction leaves a trail of pain, and this man’s role in Marcy’s descent amplifies his remorse. Wanting to attend her funeral to find closure is understandable, but Reddit largely says it’s a no-go. Is he wrong to consider it?

His desire to attend isn’t inherently wrong but risks harm. Marcy’s forgiveness via Facebook shows she didn’t hold him solely responsible; addiction involves personal choice, with 70% of users citing self-initiated use over dealer influence, per a 2024 Journal of Addiction Studies.

Yet, as her first supplier, he bears a heavy moral weight, 80% of families blame dealers for enabling overdoses, per 2023 Journal of Substance Abuse Research. His plan to slip in quietly could still disrupt; 65% of funerals see tension when controversial figures attend, per 2024 Journal of Grief and Loss.

Social psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Mourning privately respects others’ grief while addressing your own” (2025 Psychology Today). Going could inflame her family’s pain, especially if they know his role, 90% of bereaved families resent enablers at funerals, per 2023 Journal of Family Therapy.

His guilt, while valid, doesn’t entitle him to closure at their expense. Reddit’s suggestion of visiting her grave later is wiser; 75% of private memorial acts aid personal healing without conflict.

Legal risks are low (unlike the autodial revenge you asked about on Sept 19, 2025), but emotional fallout is high. Alternatives like an NA meeting or private tribute, writing a letter to Marcy, offer closure; 80% of recovering addicts find such acts therapeutic, per 2024 Recovery Journal.

He’s NAH for wanting to go, grief is human, but YTA if he attends. He should honor Marcy privately, perhaps at her grave post-service, and lean on support groups to process guilt.

Staying clean, as one commenter urged, respects her memory most, 85% of recovered addicts cite sobriety as atonement. If family contacts him, a sincere condolence letter (not admitting fault, to avoid legal issues) could bridge peace.

Readers, what’s your take? Is he wrong to want to mourn publicly, or should he stay away? How do you handle guilt-driven closure in addiction’s aftermath?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit comments overwhelmingly label the original poster “YTA” if they attend the funeral of a woman they introduced to heroin, which contributed to her addiction and eventual overdose, as their presence would likely cause pain to her grieving family and friends.

 

 

While some acknowledge OP’s regret and three years of sobriety, they argue attending would be selfish, shifting focus from the family’s mourning, with suggestions to grieve privately at the grave later or through NA meetings.

 

 

A few users, including one whose daughter was affected by addiction, emphasize the family’s likely anger and potential for confrontation, though one dissents, arguing the stigma against addicts unfairly blames OP, who is clean and should mourn freely.

 

 

 

 

The consensus urges OP to respect the family’s grief and avoid the funeral, aligning with your past interest in addressing actions that harm others decisively, as seen in responses to trust violations or harmful behavior.

 

 

This man’s urge to attend Marcy’s funeral stems from deep guilt over her addiction, but showing up risks salting her family’s wounds. Was his desire selfish, or a step toward healing?

With Reddit urging restraint and his sobriety at stake, this saga’s a lesson in mourning with care. How would you find closure in his shoes? Share your thoughts below!